“True success is the attainment of purpose without compromising your core values.” John Hayhurst Sr.
Success is defined by many in so many ways. Many people define it by what the have yet to attain or by what others have attained. In the pursuit of success we often prostitute ourselves to many things we would eventually live to regret. We run miles down one street only to find we are completely lost.
The clich̩ is obvious Рthe pursuit of success defined by wealth, will often leave people unhappy Рeven if they achieve that wealth, they have had to do things or sacrifice relationships to do it.
So in this crazy world, how do we reach success?
A personal definition of success is critical to finding it, much like identifying the place you wish to travel to is necessary before the journey begins. If we don’t know where we are going, we wont know when we get there, let alone how to get there and if we should even be trying to get there or not.
Every goal has a cost. You may want to win an Olympic medal, well there is a cost, and its more than just training pains. You will not lead a normal social life, you can’t do what others do. If you want to become a CEO of a major company, there is a cost – you may have the title and big house, but you may have trouble at home given all your hours in the office. Essential to everyone who endeavours to do something is counting the cost. Whether you build a house or plan a picnic – it is critical to know what it will take.
Once you have defined your goal and have accepted the benefits and costs of such a goal, you are now ready to start. But before you rush off – are you sure you have the right goal. I know you have a goal, but is it right? Does it cost you too much? Is success at any cost your mantra? What if that cost was the lives of your kids, your conscience, your integrity? What are your core values that you cannot compromise? We all have them, and we need to know what they are.
If you goal is to make say $1000 in 24hrs. Success would be having $1000 cash in your pocket this time tomorrow. Well you could simply rob a convenience store or two at gunpoint – reach your goal, but would you consider yourself successful? Depends if those armed robberies compromise some core values – I hope they would!
Your values and your potential will determine what is possible for you. Success would be maximizing that potential in such a manner that inspires generations to come. As you consider Internet Marketing – its important you think about what is important to you and how you can accomplish your goals without compromise.
Thanks for reading,
Your Rich Cousin
(Author and Business Success Story) Get the free e-book that got me started and helped me start making money at http://www.richcousin.com It's so straight forward and easy to understand AND you will have the support you need to start making a great income online.
Showing posts with label self help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self help. Show all posts
February 3, 2012
December 28, 2011
How To Increase Self Confidence
Are you looking into ways to help you to gain more confidence? Have you a lack of self-belief? Do you think that you are a weak person? Would you like to be more care-free person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this article may well be worth a read. I am going to write about how people can go about increasing their self-confidence. This advice is what I have used to help myself turn from an often depressive person to a now happy and relaxed young man.
My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.
One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.
I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.
I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.
As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o'clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.
I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.
My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.
One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.
I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.
I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.
As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o'clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.
I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.
December 27, 2011
Finding You in Healing the Hidden Self
People today are starting to recognize the value of self-talk. At one time people thought of those that talked to self as someone with a mental ailment. This is not true today. Experts are recognizing that self-talk is a healthy tool that we all can use to find answers to our questions and resolve many problems.
At one time, people thought outer appearance made the person. However, today, people are starting to realize that beauty is skin deep, while inner beauty is to the bone. Today people are running to find ways to develop self.
Recently, personality development courses opened to help these people find their way. Now, people are not spending countless of dollars on improving their looks, rather they are spending more time and money to find ways of healing the hidden self.
The hidden being is decided on the inner conscious. We all have several hidden personalities that we do not recognize. These personalities often come out, usually when feelings are expressed.
To understand one’s feelings, one has to use his or her self-talk tools. Most of us can manage our job tasks on a daily schedule, but when it comes to managing our feelings and emotions, often it becomes a struggle. Using self-talk tools can change this behavior.
As humans, we often struggle to abandon bad behaviors, or habits. The common problem we face today is greed. We see this by examining human behaviors. You probably noticed that on several occasions when a person made a small lump sum of cash, they often want more. Instead of accepting that they have what they need, many people will thrive to make more money, and often find themselves down and out at the end; Life seems to be nothing more than the almighty dollar, i.e. most people’s goal in life.
People tend to believe that they can attain happiness and love by making more money. The fact is these people often find themselves stressing, because they failed to realize that finding love, joy, and peace is the true road to self-development. Success or failure is not what makes a person. What makes a person is fighting through the hidden messages in the subliminal mind to discover self.
We all battle emotional responses, such as anger, sadness, joy, et cetera and these emotions ignite from failures, depression, and success and so on. We all feel down at times. There is no way that we can escape the feeling of sadness, joy, anger, et cetera, but there is a way we can all take control of what we express and feel.
Another problem we face is dependency. Many people in the world today depend on others to pick them up when they are down. This leads to major problems, simply because not one person has the power to heal you, but you.
To work through all of these problems, we must depend on self, and develop a winning attitude to build confidence. By changing our approach, we can see that the world is our own based on how we accept it. If a body is unhappy, then the world will seem like a miserable place to live. One of the common sayings today is, “Life is a B, and then you die.” This entire negative is causing them to miss the benefits of living.
In each of our lives, some of us are fortunate while others are unfortunate. We must realize that everything we endure takes place to help us learn. For instance, a severely traumatized person may have lived a life of overwhelming violence. There is a point to be made here. Of course, this person is the victim and has no responsibility of what has occurred in his or her life, yet the point is made clear at the end of this person’s journey.
We can all live and learn from each other. Despite what type of life you have lived you can develop a positive attitude and win the game of life. By holding onto negative thoughts, you only defeat the purpose of living. Life is too short, so develop a winning attitude and healing the hidden self will fall into place.
At one time, people thought outer appearance made the person. However, today, people are starting to realize that beauty is skin deep, while inner beauty is to the bone. Today people are running to find ways to develop self.
Recently, personality development courses opened to help these people find their way. Now, people are not spending countless of dollars on improving their looks, rather they are spending more time and money to find ways of healing the hidden self.
The hidden being is decided on the inner conscious. We all have several hidden personalities that we do not recognize. These personalities often come out, usually when feelings are expressed.
To understand one’s feelings, one has to use his or her self-talk tools. Most of us can manage our job tasks on a daily schedule, but when it comes to managing our feelings and emotions, often it becomes a struggle. Using self-talk tools can change this behavior.
As humans, we often struggle to abandon bad behaviors, or habits. The common problem we face today is greed. We see this by examining human behaviors. You probably noticed that on several occasions when a person made a small lump sum of cash, they often want more. Instead of accepting that they have what they need, many people will thrive to make more money, and often find themselves down and out at the end; Life seems to be nothing more than the almighty dollar, i.e. most people’s goal in life.
People tend to believe that they can attain happiness and love by making more money. The fact is these people often find themselves stressing, because they failed to realize that finding love, joy, and peace is the true road to self-development. Success or failure is not what makes a person. What makes a person is fighting through the hidden messages in the subliminal mind to discover self.
We all battle emotional responses, such as anger, sadness, joy, et cetera and these emotions ignite from failures, depression, and success and so on. We all feel down at times. There is no way that we can escape the feeling of sadness, joy, anger, et cetera, but there is a way we can all take control of what we express and feel.
Another problem we face is dependency. Many people in the world today depend on others to pick them up when they are down. This leads to major problems, simply because not one person has the power to heal you, but you.
To work through all of these problems, we must depend on self, and develop a winning attitude to build confidence. By changing our approach, we can see that the world is our own based on how we accept it. If a body is unhappy, then the world will seem like a miserable place to live. One of the common sayings today is, “Life is a B, and then you die.” This entire negative is causing them to miss the benefits of living.
In each of our lives, some of us are fortunate while others are unfortunate. We must realize that everything we endure takes place to help us learn. For instance, a severely traumatized person may have lived a life of overwhelming violence. There is a point to be made here. Of course, this person is the victim and has no responsibility of what has occurred in his or her life, yet the point is made clear at the end of this person’s journey.
We can all live and learn from each other. Despite what type of life you have lived you can develop a positive attitude and win the game of life. By holding onto negative thoughts, you only defeat the purpose of living. Life is too short, so develop a winning attitude and healing the hidden self will fall into place.
December 17, 2011
"The Inside is What Counts"
Greetings self-help readers,
This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.
Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawl I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.
Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.
Much continued positive attitude success,
The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"
This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.
Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawl I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.
Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.
Much continued positive attitude success,
The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"
December 15, 2011
How to Find Your Real Self Again
On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us.
But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside.
And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.
If you’re ready to get re-acquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 5 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.
Quiet the noise in your head.
You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.
Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways.
In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish the healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”
Listen to your heart.
Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.
Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal.
What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation - as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.
A person you can know and love - you! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that's what you're really looking for, isn't it?
But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside.
And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.
If you’re ready to get re-acquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 5 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.
Quiet the noise in your head.
You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.
Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways.
In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish the healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”
Listen to your heart.
Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.
Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal.
What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation - as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.
A person you can know and love - you! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that's what you're really looking for, isn't it?
December 4, 2011
Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness
All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of the time. Perhaps you have assumed that these people are just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.
Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people consciously choose to think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people are unconsciously thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.
Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make:
OPTIMISM
Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.
KINDNESS
Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result.
FORGIVENESS
Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take personally others’ uncaring behavior, they don’t get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others’ behavior personally. Happy people recognize that another’s behavior is really about that other person, so they move into compassion toward themselves and others rather than into judgment.
ACCEPTANCE
Happy people realize what they can control and what they can’t. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the things they cannot change and changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realize they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they can control – their own thinking and behavior. Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.
GRATITUDE
Finally, happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don’t have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend’s face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on.
If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that happiness is the result of your thinking and behavior, not the cause of it. If you choose to focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behavior make you feel happy, you can become a happy person – regardless of your present circumstances. Happiness does not just happen – it takes work!
Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people consciously choose to think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people are unconsciously thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.
Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make:
OPTIMISM
Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.
KINDNESS
Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result.
FORGIVENESS
Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take personally others’ uncaring behavior, they don’t get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others’ behavior personally. Happy people recognize that another’s behavior is really about that other person, so they move into compassion toward themselves and others rather than into judgment.
ACCEPTANCE
Happy people realize what they can control and what they can’t. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the things they cannot change and changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realize they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they can control – their own thinking and behavior. Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.
GRATITUDE
Finally, happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don’t have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend’s face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on.
If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that happiness is the result of your thinking and behavior, not the cause of it. If you choose to focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behavior make you feel happy, you can become a happy person – regardless of your present circumstances. Happiness does not just happen – it takes work!
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