People complain. They’re complaining all the time about everything. As a child, I was innocent enough to believe what people were saying. I really thought there were plenty of valid reasons to complain: the weather (most often), lack of money (runner-up), the neighbors, husband or wife, the children (me, in this case), civilization (or the lack of it), bad health, etc. I assumed the world just turned out to be like this and there was nothing much we could do. It was called “fate” or something.
The thing to do was to pray. Not to ask for a better life. No! I learned to pray to ask God to forgive me for my sins. I was a nice little girl, doing very well at school, polite with the neighbors, helpful at home, so it was rather difficult to keep finding sins for our weekly confession. But because human beings are profoundly sinful by birth, they told me, I had to go confess anyway. The nuns at school came up with a solution to help us out: they “prepared” our sins for us. Every Wednesday, on confession day, they gave us a pink paper with our “confessions of the day.” I remember feeling sorry for the poor priest, hidden in his little black cabin, spending the entire day listening to the confessions of 600 little girls, endlessly repeating the same sins over and over…
Growing up, I figured something was missing. Pretending to be sinful by repeating sins someone else had cooked up for me, that could not be what life is about. I refused to further confess sins that I had not committed. I refused to believe that I was the cause of my misery, and that I had to pray every day without things getting better!
When I was 26, I went to Africa. There I met my husband (he’s from Belgium) and together we had a wonderful time, with plenty of sunshine and plenty of money; circumstances people usually don’t complain about, right? According to my childhood logic, people only complain for a reason: lousy weather (too cold, too much rain), lack of money, etc. But what I discovered over there seriously opened my eyes! My “white” friends just went on complaining: about the weather (too hot), about the service (5 servants and still they were complaining) or about how things were too expensive – while they were earning 5 times as much as before!
I discovered there and then that the complaining was not based on any objective reasons. I also noticed that the black people, who were living in their villages with close to nothing, were not complaining. I got interested in this phenomenon: they had nothing except a big smile on their face, while we had everything and were still complaining! How could this be?
It became crystal clear to me that the complaints had nothing to do with the outer circumstances. It was an attitude, a habit. Next, I wanted to find out where this habit came from. So I examined the way of life of the local people and compared it with our way of life. When I finally came up with the explanation, it changed my life forever!
There are two important differences between them and us. The first difference is that they have a social network to help everyone in the village. They stick together. They don’t push out people who don’t fit the norm. In our society, everybody who is a bit different is sent to an “institution.” An institution is a place to collect those individuals who cannot follow the fast pace of society and thus fall out of the boat. Most institutions have great walls to prevent us from “seeing” that these people really exist. They look more like a prison than a shelter.
Who are these people that don’t fit in our society, put away behind walls so we don’t have to confront them? They are the disabled, the diseased, the dangerous ones, the mentally retarded or disturbed, those who are too slow (they go to special schools), too difficult to handle (they go to educational institutions) and those who are too tired and too old (we put them in expensive homes).
There in Africa, everybody stays in his own village and is accepted and taken care of (except the really dangerous ones, they go to prison). Everybody has a natural social network and access to help. You are not isolated from society merely because you cannot walk or because you are mentally slow. They stick together. I figured out that inner loneliness and isolation is one of the main reasons why we are complaining so much.
The second difference is that all of these people are connected to something “greater” than themselves. They have a strong faith in a god who takes care of them. They spend a lot of time performing rituals to please their god(s) and get good health and harvest in return.
I gave these two differences a lot of thought and concluded that creating social networks of people and a solid relationship with something bigger than ourselves, are vitally important fundaments of human happiness.
It’s all about “connection.” Connection to each other. Connection to the Universe. In the meantime I found out that good things can happen only when we stay connected to each other and to the Universe. I started studying the Laws of the Universe and spent a lot of energy helping people establish a connection to each other and to the Universe. In fact, this became the very purpose of my life.
Many people think they are alone, without help, and have to do everything by themselves. This is not the case. You are guided, you are loved by Something Greater than your little personality. Try to feel this connection. Take time everyday to connect to the Source. Do like the African people I was lucky to meet so many years ago: create a real connection between yourself, the Universe and people around you, without being overly dependent on others. You will never feel alone again and you will be able to spread a lot more love around.
Living this kind of “connected life” will make you forget about your former complaints. What’s there to complain about? Your complaints will be replaced by gratitude! Say “thank you” to the Universe for all the things you already have, and for all the wonders that may still cross your path. Express your sincere gratitude for all the love you have received and will keep receiving throughout your life. Be grateful for the clean water coming out of the tap by a simple gesture of your hand, while many people spend six hours every day to get a little bit of water, and others die of thirst. Be grateful for the light you switch on with a simple flick. Large parts of the world have to do without electric power! Say “thank you” for the variety of food that is available to you every day – a lot of people have to get by on one scarce meal a day, or are simply starving.
There is so much to be grateful for. I felt so ashamed there in Africa, at 26 years old, hearing my white friends, bathing in luxury but still complaining, while my black friends, who had close to nothing, were laughing, friendly, grateful and most of the time quite happy with the little things in life.
It’s all in the mind. Gratitude and happiness are an attitude, a state of being. It has nothing to do with circumstances. The attitude is gratitude.
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
January 5, 2012
October 30, 2011
Doing What You Love
What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m sure you were asked this question at least once when you were a youngster. When asked the question, did you have an answer at the ready, or did you need a few minutes to think about it? We all had dreams of becoming something great, like a fireman, a teacher, or a rock star, just to name a few. Well, how did you do? Maybe you never aspired to be what you set out to be or said that you would become. But then again, things change. The older we get, our tastes change, our view of the world changes, even our goals change.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my career path is to do something you love to do. Why is this important? I feel that if you enjoy what you make a living at, you end up being happy in more ways than one. Life itself becomes much more interesting and fun. You find yourself speaking passionately to others about your work. The experiences you have along the way become much more rewarding, and enrich your life in many ways. You meet fascinating people. I know people who have turned favorite hobbies into small businesses, and have succeeded. Sure, they may have had to sacrifice a steady paycheck for their happiness, but not one of them either turned back or gave up. Their passion carried them through to success.
While no job or business is perfect, the important thing is to enjoy it, even learn from it. If you are unhappy in your current situation, why not take steps now to change it? Somewhere out there is a job or business that is perfect for you. If you are already there, I applaud you. If not, realize that it may take some time to figure out what you really want to do, and even more time to actually get there. That’s all right! I can tell you from experience that finding and doing what you love is absolutely worth it, every step of the way. All of the research, training, and hands-on experience has made me a stronger, happier person. Feeling in charge of my own destiny…well, there just is no greater feeling.
Do what you love, and love what you do, whatever that may be. You’ll be happier for it, trust me. I promise you will never look back.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my career path is to do something you love to do. Why is this important? I feel that if you enjoy what you make a living at, you end up being happy in more ways than one. Life itself becomes much more interesting and fun. You find yourself speaking passionately to others about your work. The experiences you have along the way become much more rewarding, and enrich your life in many ways. You meet fascinating people. I know people who have turned favorite hobbies into small businesses, and have succeeded. Sure, they may have had to sacrifice a steady paycheck for their happiness, but not one of them either turned back or gave up. Their passion carried them through to success.
While no job or business is perfect, the important thing is to enjoy it, even learn from it. If you are unhappy in your current situation, why not take steps now to change it? Somewhere out there is a job or business that is perfect for you. If you are already there, I applaud you. If not, realize that it may take some time to figure out what you really want to do, and even more time to actually get there. That’s all right! I can tell you from experience that finding and doing what you love is absolutely worth it, every step of the way. All of the research, training, and hands-on experience has made me a stronger, happier person. Feeling in charge of my own destiny…well, there just is no greater feeling.
Do what you love, and love what you do, whatever that may be. You’ll be happier for it, trust me. I promise you will never look back.
September 9, 2011
Attracting Success
We all wish to be successful and yet somehow we seem to be missing the target. In this article we will show you how to become more successful in all your endeavors.
Success often eludes many people. Like the inevitable pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, people set their hearts on following their dreams only to wake up disappointed.
Disappointment can be crushing to people. They sit and wonder what on earth they did wrong. They may have a strong belief in that pot of gold, but a dream alone cannot make your visions a reality.
You may have read a myriad of books and followed all the rules and imagined yourself as the successful person that you want to be. Your vision may be crystal clear and that is a good thing. The Bible says, “Without a vision the people perish”. The problem remains that envisioning yourself as successful is not enough.
What are your dreams?
What are you hopes for the future?
Have you ever written them down?
If you could be anything that you wanted to be and go where you wanted to go, who would you be? What would you be like? Where would you be living?
I want you to take a few moments now and write down the answer to these questions. Be as specific as you can so you can visualize these things as being true today. Crystallize these ideals in your mind.
Don’t cheat here, this is an important exercise, now go and write the answers down on a piece of paper, or better still in a book. You can call this your Dream Book to Success.
Now ask yourself this question: What do I need to do in order to live the life I dream of?
What do I need to do to make my dreams a reality?
The first step is to make sure you do not put off the vision too far in the distance. Don’t live on tomorrow’s sunshine. At the same time, don’t expect to have a change overnight. There is no magic pill that is going to bring about your dream. There is no easy road that will bring you to the Emerald City.
Someone once said “the road to success is filled with hard knocks” and this is reality.
You CAN achieve your dreams only if you systematically prepare yourself to receive them. You also must believe that you CAN receive them.
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t, you can’t”
If you believe that you CAN achieve your dreams then it’s time for you to start planning on how you are going to make your dreams of success come true. Don’t let fear sabotage your thinking. If you have faith, you can move mountains! Sometimes though a mountain must be moved a piece at a time.
This takes planning. No amount of wishful thinking will get you what you want. Your vision may be crystal clear but with out a plan it’s just a dream. You need to plan your life in order to get the results you wish for.
You need to set goals for yourself. I know, you hate the thought of setting goals, but unless you put it down in writing and give it a date, it won’t happen. I can guarantee it.
Do you see yourself as slim and sitting on a beach somewhere? Well if you need to lose weight, dreaming isn’t going to make it happen. You must write down your goal for losing weight.
In order for my dream to come true I must lose more pounds. This is a good start. Now visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror weighing your perfect weight. Doesn’t that feel good?
This is your target, your dream, your vision. Now ask yourself, in order to reach that goal, what steps do I need to take today. Is it reasonable to say to yourself that you could lose 10 pounds a month? Too much? How about 4 pounds a month? Can you make a decision to yourself to lose 1 pound a week. In a year that would be 52 pounds! If you lost 2 pounds a week that would be 104 pounds! See how much you can do by breaking your goals down to bite size pieces. Your mountain can literally be moved piece by piece, or pound by pound in this example. Voila ! Success!
There is nothing mystical in making your dreams a success. In every situation you can do it piece by piece until your mountain is moved and you achieve Success.
Success often eludes many people. Like the inevitable pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, people set their hearts on following their dreams only to wake up disappointed.
Disappointment can be crushing to people. They sit and wonder what on earth they did wrong. They may have a strong belief in that pot of gold, but a dream alone cannot make your visions a reality.
You may have read a myriad of books and followed all the rules and imagined yourself as the successful person that you want to be. Your vision may be crystal clear and that is a good thing. The Bible says, “Without a vision the people perish”. The problem remains that envisioning yourself as successful is not enough.
What are your dreams?
What are you hopes for the future?
Have you ever written them down?
If you could be anything that you wanted to be and go where you wanted to go, who would you be? What would you be like? Where would you be living?
I want you to take a few moments now and write down the answer to these questions. Be as specific as you can so you can visualize these things as being true today. Crystallize these ideals in your mind.
Don’t cheat here, this is an important exercise, now go and write the answers down on a piece of paper, or better still in a book. You can call this your Dream Book to Success.
Now ask yourself this question: What do I need to do in order to live the life I dream of?
What do I need to do to make my dreams a reality?
The first step is to make sure you do not put off the vision too far in the distance. Don’t live on tomorrow’s sunshine. At the same time, don’t expect to have a change overnight. There is no magic pill that is going to bring about your dream. There is no easy road that will bring you to the Emerald City.
Someone once said “the road to success is filled with hard knocks” and this is reality.
You CAN achieve your dreams only if you systematically prepare yourself to receive them. You also must believe that you CAN receive them.
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t, you can’t”
If you believe that you CAN achieve your dreams then it’s time for you to start planning on how you are going to make your dreams of success come true. Don’t let fear sabotage your thinking. If you have faith, you can move mountains! Sometimes though a mountain must be moved a piece at a time.
This takes planning. No amount of wishful thinking will get you what you want. Your vision may be crystal clear but with out a plan it’s just a dream. You need to plan your life in order to get the results you wish for.
You need to set goals for yourself. I know, you hate the thought of setting goals, but unless you put it down in writing and give it a date, it won’t happen. I can guarantee it.
Do you see yourself as slim and sitting on a beach somewhere? Well if you need to lose weight, dreaming isn’t going to make it happen. You must write down your goal for losing weight.
In order for my dream to come true I must lose more pounds. This is a good start. Now visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror weighing your perfect weight. Doesn’t that feel good?
This is your target, your dream, your vision. Now ask yourself, in order to reach that goal, what steps do I need to take today. Is it reasonable to say to yourself that you could lose 10 pounds a month? Too much? How about 4 pounds a month? Can you make a decision to yourself to lose 1 pound a week. In a year that would be 52 pounds! If you lost 2 pounds a week that would be 104 pounds! See how much you can do by breaking your goals down to bite size pieces. Your mountain can literally be moved piece by piece, or pound by pound in this example. Voila ! Success!
There is nothing mystical in making your dreams a success. In every situation you can do it piece by piece until your mountain is moved and you achieve Success.
July 23, 2011
Best Leadership Advice: Business Success Secrets From 7 Top Leaders
Fortune magazine once published an article entitled "The Best Advice I Ever Got." It was a great article that offered wit and wisdom about achieving business success. I liked it so much, that it motivated me to produce my newest book, Leadership:Best Advice I Ever Got, which describes the best leadership advice 136 successful CEOs, coaches, consultants, professors, managers, executives, presidents, politicians, and religious leaders received that most helped them become effective and successful leaders.
Here are 7 secrets to leadership success:
1. Leadership is about making things happen
If you want to make something happen with your life, in school, in your profession or in your community, do it. Perceived obstacles crumble against persistent desire. John Baldoni, Author, Leadership Communication Consultant and Founder of Baldoni Consulting LLC, shared this advice that had come from his father, a physician. He taught him the value of persistence. At the same time, his mother taught him compassion for others. Therefore, persistence for your cause should not be gained at the expense of others. Another bit of leadership wisdom!
2. Listen and understand the issue, then lead
Time and time again we have all been told, "God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason"...or as Stephen Covey said..."Seek to understand, rather than be understood." As a leader, listening first to the issue, then trying to coach, has been the most valuable advice that Cordia Harrington, President and CEO of Tennessee Bun Company has been given.
3. Answer the three questions everyone within your organization wants answers to
What the people of an organization want from their leader are answers to the following: Where are we going? How are we going to get there? What is my role? Kevin Nolan, President & Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Health Systems, Inc. believes the more clarity that can be added to each of the three questions, the better the result.
4. Master the goals that will allow you to work anywhere in today’s dynamic business world
Debbe Kennedy, President, CEO and Founder of Global Dialogue Center and Leadership Solutions Companies, and author of Action Dialogues and Breakthrough once shared this piece of advice that was instrumental in shaping her direction, future and achievements.
She was a young manager at IBM just promoted to her first staff assignment in a regional marketing office. For reasons she can’t explain, one of her colleagues named Bookie called her into his office while she was visiting his location. He then began to offer unsolicited advice, but advice that now stays fresh in her mind. He mentioned that jobs, missions, titles and organizations would come and go as business is dynamic-- meaning it is always changing. He advised her not to focus your goals toward any of these, but instead learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere.
He was talking about four skills:
With this in mind, Kennedy advises readers to seek jobs and opportunities with this in mind. Forget what others do. Work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.
5. Be curious
Curiosity is a prerequisite to continuous improvement and even excellence. The person who gave Mary Jean Thornton, Former Executive Vice President & CIO, The Travelers this advice urged her to study people, processes, and structures. He inspired her to be intellectually curious. He often reminded Thornton that making progress, in part, was based upon thinking. She has learned to apply this notion of intellectual curiosity by thinking about her organization’s future, understanding the present, and knowing and challenging herself to creatively move the people and the organization closer to its vision.
6. Listen to both sides of the argument
The most valuable advice Brian P. Lees, Massachusetts State Senator and Senate Minority Leader ever received came from his mentor, United States Senator Edward W. Brooke III. He told him to listen to all different kinds of people and ideas. Listening only to those who share your background and opinions can be imprudent. It is important to respect your neighbors’ rights to their own views. Listening to and talking with a variety of people, from professors to police officers, from senior citizens to schoolchildren, is essential not only to be a good leader in business, but to also be a valuable member within your community.
7. Prepare, prepare, prepare
If you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail. If one has truly prepared and something goes wrong the strength of the rest of what you've prepared for usually makes this something easier to handle without crisis and panic. One of the best pieces of advice Dave Hixson, Men’s Varsity Basketball Coach at Amherst College has ever received and continues to use and pass on is this anonymous quote, "Preparation is the science of winning."
Along with this are two expressions from Rick Pitino's book Success is a Choice, which speaks to preparation. Hixson asks his teams every year: "Do you deserve to win?" and "Have you done the work?" This speaks to the importance of preparation toward achieving your final goal. If you haven't done the work (preparation) the answer to the second question is an easy "no!"
Great advice comes from many sources: parents, other relatives, consultants, bosses, co-workers, mentors, teachers, coaches, and friends. The important point to remember is to stay open, listen to everyone, but also develop your own leadership style.
Here are 7 secrets to leadership success:
1. Leadership is about making things happen
If you want to make something happen with your life, in school, in your profession or in your community, do it. Perceived obstacles crumble against persistent desire. John Baldoni, Author, Leadership Communication Consultant and Founder of Baldoni Consulting LLC, shared this advice that had come from his father, a physician. He taught him the value of persistence. At the same time, his mother taught him compassion for others. Therefore, persistence for your cause should not be gained at the expense of others. Another bit of leadership wisdom!
2. Listen and understand the issue, then lead
Time and time again we have all been told, "God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason"...or as Stephen Covey said..."Seek to understand, rather than be understood." As a leader, listening first to the issue, then trying to coach, has been the most valuable advice that Cordia Harrington, President and CEO of Tennessee Bun Company has been given.
3. Answer the three questions everyone within your organization wants answers to
What the people of an organization want from their leader are answers to the following: Where are we going? How are we going to get there? What is my role? Kevin Nolan, President & Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Health Systems, Inc. believes the more clarity that can be added to each of the three questions, the better the result.
4. Master the goals that will allow you to work anywhere in today’s dynamic business world
Debbe Kennedy, President, CEO and Founder of Global Dialogue Center and Leadership Solutions Companies, and author of Action Dialogues and Breakthrough once shared this piece of advice that was instrumental in shaping her direction, future and achievements.
She was a young manager at IBM just promoted to her first staff assignment in a regional marketing office. For reasons she can’t explain, one of her colleagues named Bookie called her into his office while she was visiting his location. He then began to offer unsolicited advice, but advice that now stays fresh in her mind. He mentioned that jobs, missions, titles and organizations would come and go as business is dynamic-- meaning it is always changing. He advised her not to focus your goals toward any of these, but instead learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere.
He was talking about four skills:
- The ability to develop an idea
- Effectively plan for its implementation
- Execute second-to-none
- Achieve superior results time after time
With this in mind, Kennedy advises readers to seek jobs and opportunities with this in mind. Forget what others do. Work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.
5. Be curious
Curiosity is a prerequisite to continuous improvement and even excellence. The person who gave Mary Jean Thornton, Former Executive Vice President & CIO, The Travelers this advice urged her to study people, processes, and structures. He inspired her to be intellectually curious. He often reminded Thornton that making progress, in part, was based upon thinking. She has learned to apply this notion of intellectual curiosity by thinking about her organization’s future, understanding the present, and knowing and challenging herself to creatively move the people and the organization closer to its vision.
6. Listen to both sides of the argument
The most valuable advice Brian P. Lees, Massachusetts State Senator and Senate Minority Leader ever received came from his mentor, United States Senator Edward W. Brooke III. He told him to listen to all different kinds of people and ideas. Listening only to those who share your background and opinions can be imprudent. It is important to respect your neighbors’ rights to their own views. Listening to and talking with a variety of people, from professors to police officers, from senior citizens to schoolchildren, is essential not only to be a good leader in business, but to also be a valuable member within your community.
7. Prepare, prepare, prepare
If you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail. If one has truly prepared and something goes wrong the strength of the rest of what you've prepared for usually makes this something easier to handle without crisis and panic. One of the best pieces of advice Dave Hixson, Men’s Varsity Basketball Coach at Amherst College has ever received and continues to use and pass on is this anonymous quote, "Preparation is the science of winning."
Along with this are two expressions from Rick Pitino's book Success is a Choice, which speaks to preparation. Hixson asks his teams every year: "Do you deserve to win?" and "Have you done the work?" This speaks to the importance of preparation toward achieving your final goal. If you haven't done the work (preparation) the answer to the second question is an easy "no!"
Great advice comes from many sources: parents, other relatives, consultants, bosses, co-workers, mentors, teachers, coaches, and friends. The important point to remember is to stay open, listen to everyone, but also develop your own leadership style.
April 19, 2011
Attitude of Gratitude
An attitude of gratitude? People often to think it will come from having some great luck or fortune. Of course it could feel great to win the lottery, and great friends, money, houses, travel - these are all good things, but not enough by themselves. The right frame of mind is necessary to fully enjoy life. You need the attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude 101
Your life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say "Thank you, God," or "Thank you universe." Whether or not you are religious, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one. Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas.
Of course, it is easy to think that gratitude comes from having what we want. We might imagine ourselves giving thanks if we had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. But we know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things. We also know that there are poor people full of gratitude for what little they have, so where does this feeling come from?
Creating gratitude
An attitude of gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes when you recognize the real value of the people and things in your life. Focus on the good and you cannot help but have a better attitude and experience of life. Gratitude, then, is something you can encourage, something you can learn.
The first step is to stop and smell the roses. How can you be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy? By the way, roses really do smell great.
The second step is to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. You don't need to ignore the ugliness in the world. Just consciously choose to see the good and beautiful things, until doing so becomes automatic.
One way to encourage this habit is to start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Continue this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness and focus can alter your perception of reality. In the same way, once you are aware of the good, and start looking for it, you'll start to see wonderful things all over.
Simple exercises like the one above train your mind with time. When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result. You will have an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude 101
Your life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say "Thank you, God," or "Thank you universe." Whether or not you are religious, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one. Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas.
Of course, it is easy to think that gratitude comes from having what we want. We might imagine ourselves giving thanks if we had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. But we know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things. We also know that there are poor people full of gratitude for what little they have, so where does this feeling come from?
Creating gratitude
An attitude of gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes when you recognize the real value of the people and things in your life. Focus on the good and you cannot help but have a better attitude and experience of life. Gratitude, then, is something you can encourage, something you can learn.
The first step is to stop and smell the roses. How can you be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy? By the way, roses really do smell great.
The second step is to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. You don't need to ignore the ugliness in the world. Just consciously choose to see the good and beautiful things, until doing so becomes automatic.
One way to encourage this habit is to start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Continue this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness and focus can alter your perception of reality. In the same way, once you are aware of the good, and start looking for it, you'll start to see wonderful things all over.
Simple exercises like the one above train your mind with time. When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result. You will have an attitude of gratitude.
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