How Do You Define Success?

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
~Arnold H. Glasow

This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.

One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a teacher and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.

If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.

Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?

We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.

How do you define success?

Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?

For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a postive way? I hope that people judge me as a good person and that if I died tomorrow that there would be great mourning.

If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.

Achieve Your Goals Through The Magic Of Consistency

Consistency seems to be a boring idea at first sight. It lacks glamour and excitement. But, when you look more closely, consistency is anything but boring. It contains the secret of achievement and success. It is the key to an almost magical power than can transform lives.

Consistency means repeating the same behaviors regularly and without exceptions. Consistent behavior is the opposite of erratic behavior. Skipping workouts is an example of erratic behavior. Performing all or most of your workouts is an example of consistency.

Consistency creates powerful habits; lack of consistency and exceptions mean that you have to start building the habits all over again.

Consistency allows the seeds to grow and the fruit to arrive. Regular, patient, consistent action is necessary to achieve good results. Even winning the lottery requires buying a ticket and entering the numbers.

A woman who won the US $162 million lottery is quoted as saying, that she played the same numbers consistently for two years. She didn't play it once or twice and give up as so may people do.

She steadfastly believed that her dream of winning the lottery would be realized. Consistency, then, may occasionally work even in the notoriously risky world of gambling.

Recently, I read an outstanding article by T.J. Walker, the public speaking and communication expert. He commented on how often communication breaks down on the internet because of a lack of consistency.

Ezines, blogs and podcasts often only last for one or two issues and then they disappear. Either their creators ran out of material or foolishly expected success after one or two efforts and gave up when the results of their efforts were disappointing.

Most marketing gurus insist that sales only come after about seven email messages have been sent to a list of potential customers.

Many would be entrepreneurs lack the patience and consistency to send out even seven messages to their lists. They are unlikely to succeed in winning the trust of their customers.

Nearly any goal worth achieving demands regular and consistent efforts. If you want to achieve a black belt in a martial art, you need to show up to one training session after another whether you feel like it or not.

I know, from many years of experience, that students who show up regularly for training almost always achieve their goal of becoming a black belt.

However, I have had some very talented students who lacked patience and only showed up sporadically. When their progress up the ladder of success seemed too slow to them, they gave up and disappeared.

When I examine my martial arts students at grading sessions, I often congratulate them for just being there. I tell them that they are already half way through the grading because they have shown up and in the famous words of Woody Allen: "80% of success in life is just showing up."

By showing up, my students have shown that they have guts and are willing to accept the fact that they might look foolish if they forget their syllabus or perform it badly. Not every one can face this possibility and I even had one student give up the martial art because the grading seemed too worrying.

One person who has never failed to show up in the UK and about a third of the rest of the world is Queen Elizabeth II. For over half a century she has shown up at one formal and informal occasion after another in good and bad times. She has traveled thousands of miles around the world to achieve her goal of being a servant of her country and the commonwealth.

Today was her 80th birthday and most of the country and even the media showed their appreciation for her consistent adherence to duty. One paper actually called her "Elizabeth the Great".

Greatness only comes when efforts are consistent. Champion teams win championships not because they win every match but because they consistently play well and with determination and, as a result, win most of their matches.

An individual loses weight because they stick consistently to their diet and to their exercise regime. A body builder adds muscle weight because he consistently attends the gym whether he feels like it or not. The champions do not give up when they feel tired or bored or when results seem painfully slow.

Daily efforts create habits and habits make it easier to make those daily efforts but it still takes hard work and the determination to follow through every single day no matter what.

To achieve your goals repeat your efforts every single day. Turn up in the gym or wherever you need to. Don't be like my step brother who was once told: "You won't turn up for your own funeral!"

Occasionally you make have to make an exception and miss out on the desired behavior. One way to avoid exceptions is to perform the behavior you have planned as early as possible in the day before the rest of the family and the cat start demanding your attention!

Another way to avoid exceptions is to make a list of your most important daily behaviors in order of importance. Stick it on your wall and read it as soon as you get up. This way, your consistency will not falter because of a poor memory.

Repeat the desired or planned behavior daily and with as few exceptions as possible and you will make gradual but certain progress and eventually achieve your loftiest goals and dreams.

Even if you don't achieve all your goals and dreams, you will have at least become a great character and a person of value because you did what you planned to do on a daily basis. That, at least, is a goal worth achieving.

Life Is Wonderful

It is so simple and so easy to get what we want that we have a hard time to believe it. We are programmed to do things the hard and difficult way, in order to get what we want. We can not believe that we can get anything without hard labour, sweat and tears, obstacles
and misery.

This is nothing else but a tough old programmation, a conditioning from our childhood. If you are like me, you were bombarded as a child with expressions from adults about how hard life is and how we have to struggle to get something. We were submitted to a hazardous universe or a God of revenge who could pick us out without any reason to take revenge on us for something we did wrong. We needed to avoid being bad or wrong, but disease could strike us anyway. Sometimes they even said : “It’s again a good one who’s punished, and the bad one take off easily like usual without paying anything!”. We learned that life wasn’t fair. We lived in fear and thought life was a valley of tears, fear, struggle, pain, disease
and death?

How would it have been if they’ve told us the truth? The truth, nothing but the truth? That life is easy, wonderful. That miracles happen all the time and that we have the power to make them happen in our own life! That the universe loves us. That there is wealth and health for everyone. That we don’t live in a universe of scarcity but of abundance. That we only have to put the right thoughts in our heads to make these dreams real for us.

What would your life have looked like if your parents and teachers would have taught you the truth?

You would have suffered much less! You would not have believed you were less than nothing. You would not have been filled with fear over your ears of getting sick or failing, of being stupid or being not good enough.

If you would have known from the beginning that you were a creation of the Creator, that you will always remain, that you will always be around, that you were created for a reason, and when you find this reason you will be happy, what would your life look like now? If you were told that you had talents, unique qualities, that make you a special person, and that you are on earth with the mission to offer these talents to others, where would you be right now and what would you be doing now?

Isn’t it nice? The Genius who created this whole thing did really well : we are sent to earth with a mission and to be able to assume our mission we are already fully equiped from the beginning : we are gifted with natural talents and all we have to do is develop our talents and offer them to the world! Simply said, we have to do what we can do easily already and what we are talented for, and than happiness, satisfaction, love, money and everything we want comes flowing our way!

It is so beautiful, this concept! All we have to do is to do what we love! And of course we need to stop once for all to think we don’t deserve happiness or wealth or health. All these thoughts are wrong because they go against the principles of creation of the Universe.

We are already wonderful! We are already loved! We are already rich! We are already free! We are already intelligent! We are already healthy!
Why? Because we were all this before we started our life. It is the way we really are. It is the way we were created, we were born. This is the truth about ourselves. Everything else is “learned” afterwards.

The good news is whatever is learned can be un-learned. Every programmation can be changed and replaced by a new program.

And again, life is wonderful, because a positive thought is 10,000 times more powerful than a negative thought. So you don’t have to take another 40 years to undo the negative conditioning in your head. One positive thought can counterbalance 10,000 negative ones.

Can you imagine? Aren’t we lucky?

If you choose to do so, you can rapidly turn around your negative program in your head. Go to the bookstore, buy some books with positive thoughts, put them at every toilet in the house, in the bathroom, in your bedroom, in your living room, and read them whenever you think of it or see them. It doesn’t matter if you read one page after another or if you just open the book as it falls in your hands. The message you will receive will be the right one for you at that very moment.

Every morning you start your day by saying thank you to the Universe for your bed, your house, the roof over your head, the people living with your, the water coming out of your tap, the light switching on by a simple gesture of your hand, the food available, the choices you can make that day, the love you received in your life and the love you will receive, the miracles which will happen today and the air you can breath.

In your car, listen to CD’s or cassettes with positive programmation. Listen to them while you make dinner, clean the house or iron your clothes.

Surround yourself with positive people and stop nourishing negative social talk. Don’t watch television unless there is some really positive program.

There is a lot you can do to take a positive turn in your life. Don’t think you can do nothing. You are responsible for your life now. Make your choice! Know that every thought you think is either one which will weaken you, or one which will make you feel stronger.
The choice is yours!

Achieve Your Goals For Success Step By Step

You have a dream! Now, how do you make it happen?

First, imagine that it is real. See every detail so clearly that you can reach out and touch it. You can feel the emotions of being there. For example, if you want a certain car, then what kind is it? What color is it? Imagine you are sitting in it like you will when it is brand new. How does it feel? How does it smell? Go for a drive in your car. If it's a convertible, drive with the top down! Experience the wind blowing in your face and through your hair. Hear the sounds around you. If you can take a real test drive in one, do that! Get a picture and post it where you will see it each day. Do this visualization several times a day until it becomes part of you. This action is important because your subconscious will help enable you to reach your goals to achieve your dream.

Next, break the big dream down into specific, measurable goals to get you there. If you are dreaming of something that costs a certain amount of money, like the car, you will set a date on when you want to have this money.

Once you have your date, then break your timeline down into segments. Perhaps you set the date one year from today. So the next step is to break that down into a goal for each month, then a goal for each week, then a goal for each day. It may be easier to start with the days, and then multiply out to the weeks and months.

Now that you know what your specific timeline is, you need to determine the specific actions you can take to reach each specific goal. If it is a money goal, like in the example above, you know how much money you need to put away each day. So now you need to figure out what actions you need to take each day in order to be able to do that.

If your goal is accomplishing a project, your timeline will be broken down into different steps you need to finish in order to get the whole project done. For example, if you are writing a book, you may need to do some research before you can write it. So the first major accomplishment on your way to that goal is to complete the research. Then you need to set a time to complete your basic outline. Then a time to complete each chapter. Then a time for editing. You can break each major step down into little steps that must be done each day in order to complete the entire book by your target date.

Now that you see what you will need to do each day in order to achieve your big goal, ask yourself if each day's task is reasonable. Be truthful. If you know you can do what is required each day, then you have your plan. If it will be very difficult to meet each day's requirement, then extend your timeline until you have something you know you can do every day. This way, you are setting yourself up for sure success!

It's just like the ancient philosopher said: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." No matter how big your dream is, if you break it down into baby steps that you can do each day, you will find your journey to success filled with the joy of achieving many goals.

Reaching your smaller goals will, indeed, assure you that you are on your way to reaching your dream! You will gain the confidence you need to continue and receive the desire you need to do whatever actions are required each day!

Celebrate achieving even the little goals, and enjoy your journey to your certain success!

Hold on to your Dreams

How many times have you abandoned an idea, project or dream
because someone made a disparaging remark or rolled their
eyes when you told them about it?

Relinquishing your dreams

All too frequently we allow others to dictate what is good,
right or possible. We allow them to steal our dreams. Notice
I use the word "allow." No one can put you down, stomp on
your dream, or kill an idea of yours unless you allow them
to.

Consider that:

The movie Star Wars was rejected by every movie studio in
Hollywood before 20th Century Fox finally produced it. It
went on to be one of the largest-grossing movies in film
history.

As a child, Sylvester Stallone was frequently beaten by
his father and told he had no brains. He grew up an unhappy
loner. He floated in and out of schools. An advisor at
Drexel University told him that based on his aptitude tests
he should pursue a career as an elevator repair person. It's
not a bad profession but it's certainly not where "Rocky"
ended up!

Einstein was criticized for not wearing socks or cutting
his hair. He didn't speak until he was four, and didn't read
until he was seven. One observer noted, "He could be
mentally retarded".

An expert said of Vince Lombardi:"He possesses minimal
football knowledge. Lacks motivation. . .

Beethoven handled the violin awkwardly and preferred
playing his own compositions instead of improving his
technique. His teacher proclaimed him hopeless as a
composer.

Walt Disney was fired from his job as a newspaper editor
for lack of ideas. He also went bankrupt several times
before he created Disneyland.

Henry Ford failed and went broke 5 times before he finally
succeeded.

Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women, was
encouraged to find work as a servant or seamstress. She
would certainly never be a writer.

In 1944, the director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency
told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker (Marilyn Monroe),
"You'd better learn secretarial work, or else get married."

It Takes Courage

So what are your ideas? Your thoughts? Your dreams? Your
plans?

It doesn’t matter if anyone supports what you want to do.
The important thing is for YOU to believe. For YOU to ignore
the people who say you can't do it - and DO IT ANYWAY! It
takes courage. It takes persistence. It takes believing in
the "voice inside" when no one else does. Ideas, dreams and
visions are planted within you because you have the ability
to make them happen. You’ll learn, grow, scramble, fail, and
get back up again! The important thing is to simply never
give up. The people I mentioned earlier never gave up - and
they made great things happen!

Looking Back to Move Forward

Another year is over. Take a moment to reflect on the past years.Start with an honest evaluation of your accomplishments, successes and failures.

Welcome the new year with a celebration of the past. Whatever challenges you faced last year, you are here to face another year. You are inspired and ready to tackle new endeavours, explore new horizons and reach for the stars.

Looking back helps to evaluate what worked and what didn’t. Some issues seem to be replayed over and over. How many years has it been that you’ve promised to be more vigilant about your diet and exercise? What about the overuse of your credit card? How do you manage your time? What is it going to be this year? What are your priorities?

It’s all a matter of perspective. Somewhere in the past, you stumbled and for a while, you were spinning your wheels. Take heart, that is past. There is a deep
well of strength and courage within you. And you moved on.

No one passes through this life without knowing pain and heartache. Add to this regret over lost opportunities, wrong choices and wrong decisions. These do not define your life. It is the lessons learned from these , and the determination to do better. Reap the nuggets of precious insights from the muddle and move on.

How well do you take care of your mental, physical and spiritual self? If you believe in taking care of your mental and spiritual well-being, your physical
health will definitely reap the benefits. Do you allow yourself time alone to enjoy peace and quiet? Have you learned to say NO. Do you take time to appreciate the beauty , the bounty and the blessings of the universe?

Stress is the scourge of living in the fast lane and getting caught up in the pursuit of material success. Consider seriously the level of your stress over the past years and how it affects your health. Think about this- your stress level impacts on your relationships, your career, your family and your whole life.

Some pursue elusive dreams. How long has it been? Ask yourself. Perhaps it’s time to re-assess that dream. Times change. There are other avenues to pursue. Don’t get stuck chasing after something that loses its value, its luster as time moves on. Don’t let life pass you by.

Look back honestly, but kindly. And move on.

Forget Conventional Dream Interpretation: Learn to Cultivate Your Dreams Today!

One of my favourite quotes of all time and I am sure many of you share my thoughts, is the speech by Martin Luther King at the civil rights march in Washington, 1963, which went like this:

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood..."

"I have a dream..." Indeed. Inspiring stuff. I want to discuss our dreams in a very practical way today.

I want to talk about how to cultivate your dreaming. It really is a tremendously valuable thing to do. I want to steer away from conventional dream interpretation and will explain why.

As of today, pay attention to your dreaming and your daydreaming. Dreams are important to us in many ways, because they do the following:

Firstly, when you dream you actively process information and feelings.

Secondly, dreams are always involving many senses, so the highly sensory experience is very rich. It is quite rare for us to use all our senses at once as we do when we dream.

Thirdly, dreams give us valuable information about what is going on in our lives, whether directly or more often in a disguised or symbolic form.

Fourthly, dreams are strongly sequenced, though often in a way which is emotionally rather than logically organised.

Finally, dreams draw upon a rich range of unconscious, associative, creative links between many kinds of information.

Some people remember their dreams; others tend to forget all but the most dramatic bits as soon as they wake. When you dream or daydream, take time to replay as much of it as you can in your mind before the events of the day overlay it. Relive the story of that dream. Remind yourself of the events, pictures, sensations and other sensory information it involved.

This dream was the product of your mind. Marvel at your own creativity! This is amazing stuff here; get excited by it.

If you get into the habit of asking yourself when you wake, “what did I dream?” you may at first only remember a few particularly strong feelings or vivid images: write them down and review it regularly. I actually used to write a dream journal and wrote everything down as soon as I opened my eyes each morning. It provided me with such inspiration when I required it.

Naturally, lots of you may want to start with dream interpretation straight away. Resist the urge for dream interpretation, ok?

Do your best not to assume that there is necessarily a single clear meaning which can be interpreted according to psychological theories or books on dream significance or dream interpretation. How can your dreams have the same meaning as someone else? Is your brain the same as that persons? For now, ease off the dream interpretation.

I have found that the most useful assumption to make about dreams is that they have some kind of significance for you, the dreamer: they come from your internal, unconscious mind’s storehouse of feelings, experiences and images, and are an active and useful way of processing that is quite different from – and just as useful as – the processing that belongs to the logical conscious part of your mind.

Often a strong feeling will be your first clue to the meaning a dream has for you: so note it, and wonder about it, but don’t try to rush to tie it down by conscious analysis. The real work of the dream is often done simply in the dreaming of it: the conscious mind does not always have to understand, and when it tries to translate dreams into its own terms it may be limiting it, just as poetry translated from another language usually loses something of its more subtle tapestry of meanings.

Think about the value of dreams.

Dreams demonstrate a different level of mental functioning from conscious, disciplined thought. When you pay attention to them, and even cultivate them, you are learning to become familiar with, to trust and to draw upon a fuller range of your own mental resources: in other words, you are using more of what you’ve got. Hey, this stuff is going to keep happening, so why not really use it.

The mind works both consciously and unconsciously. Conscious thought is formally taught in our education system. Its strength is its systematic and disciplined way of handling information. Its limitation is that it tends to be rule-bound and too narrow in its problem-solving approach.

The brain also processes information at an unconscious level: mostly, this is associative and depends on links, similarities and feelings. This processing produces dreams, as well as much of our other “creative” or “expressive” experience. That is why we are often surprised by the spontaneous connections we make or insights we have, and by our imaginative inspiration: it is not what we would have come up with consciously at all, yet it seems somehow completely “right”. This way of thinking works “laterally” – it expands, goes sideways and finds multiple avenues rather than just one.

We need both kinds of functioning if we are to make the most of our brain power. Logic and intuition, discipline and divergence, are all vital tools that enrich and enable us. But whereas we are used to working with the conscious mind, in part because we are aware of it and can monitor it as it works, many people are less at ease trusting and using the unconscious processes. Paying attention to your dreams, and deliberately cultivating daydreaming, are both ways of stretching yourself into this area.

So let us have a look at the value of deliberate daydreaming. Where dreams come unbidden, you may find it useful to deliberately evoke the conditions for daydreaming, if, like many people, you have not really valued the activity before now.

How is it valuable? Daydreaming brings us escape and relaxation; visions of the future that inspire and help us to bring about what we have dreamed of; solutions to apparently unsolvable problems; inventions and creative possibilities. Daydream states allow the unconscious, associative parts of the mind to work in their own playful and imaginative ways, bringing not only pleasure but results that our usual deliberate, attentive, rational thought does not. We need space in our lives for both ways of processing if we are to realise ourselves as fully as possible.

The key to daydreaming is to be in that right state. If you want to practice, please visit my website and download the free hypnosis session there, or learn self-hypnosis, read my book "The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis" or invest in the self-hypnosis masterclass audio programme, there is nothing else as good in the world today, really there isn’t. There is a kind of automatic abstractedness that goes along with daydreaming. Mostly it just seems to happen – but when you know about creating and changing states, you can choose to make it happen.

Here are some ways you can cultivate and work with your daydreams:

Firstly, notice when you have been daydreaming. Is there any pattern of circumstances that helps bring about your particular daydreaming state?

Some people find that repetitive, relatively automatic, activities such as jogging, ironing or walking create the right state. Perhaps it is a warm bath, swimming a few lengths, or sitting in the garden. Or it may be swaying to the movement of a train, staring into space, looking out of the window of a bus on the way to work, or going on a long drive.

Once you find what helps you daydream, use it and make space for it in your life on a regular basis, imagine that you are in that experience, recreate those circumstances inside of your mind. Let daydreaming come to you, and notice what kinds of windows it opens from our ordinary world into what other kinds of possibilities. Some of your best ideas and inspirations may come at these times.

Secondly, next time you have a decision to make, or a problem to solve, or a challenge to overcome, you can set up the circumstances so that you can trigger your daydreaming state – and allow yourself to explore your problem or decision in this way. When you have done so, make some notes of what you experienced and discovered. Add that to your conscious thinking on the subject: you now have much more information, and the advantage of having engaged more of your mental resources.

Thirdly, for today, forget dream interpretation. That is a conscious and limiting thing to do. Did I make myself clear? Forget conventional dream interpretation. For now use your dreams in personal ways to you.

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