How Do You Define Success?

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
~Arnold H. Glasow

This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.

One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a teacher and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.

If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.

Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?

We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.

How do you define success?

Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?

For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a postive way? I hope that people judge me as a good person and that if I died tomorrow that there would be great mourning.

If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.

Be Happy! Do Your Duty Happily without Attachment to its Results

Happiness is not living in a fool’s paradise. It is not living in oneself oblivious of outside world. Life is not a bed of roses. Here one has to struggle and fight for justice. All our actions are with a view to some results. But often we fail to achieve that result. Sometime we get even opposite results than our expectations. For example, when we do a good turn to somebody and instead of being grateful to use the person accuses us. Failure in achieving our goal often leads us to unhappiness.

What is the solution to it? Gita, the Hindu religious and philosophical text, which is perhaps the only religious book in the world that was delivered amidst battlefield, has a beautiful solution. It says,

‘You have right to action only, never to its results; never be attached to the results of your actions; but don’t take to inaction also.’— Gita (2.47)

How beautiful and unique!

In essence it teaches us that one should do one's duty without being unduly concerned about its results. It does not mean that one should do whatever comes to one's fancy without regard to its consequences. In fact, duty means prescribed duty. Its results cannot be undesirable. But the action may result in success or failure. We should not be unduly concerned with this. The cause of all unhappiness is thwarted desires. This does not teach us to be indifferent to the results of our actions and do them indifferently. It teaches us to do our best. If then the results are not as we had expected, we should have faith in God.

Mind you, all this preaching about detachment from the results of one’s action is being taught at the battle field of Mahabharat when a great war is just to be fought. This war is between cousin brothers, and near relatives are fighting on the opposing sides. Arjun has said that he did not want to fight a war in which he has to kill not only near relatives but elders and teachers. Krishna is trying to tell him that it is his duty to fight. The reward is a great kingdom. Yet Krishna is talking of fighting a war at the cost of dying or killing one’s near and dear, and yet doing so without attachment to its results!

Yet, if you come to think of it, it is the best theory about life. Attachment brings uncertainty, worry, and tension. In fact, this non-attachment to the results is very psychological too. Too much worry about the results of our actions affects the latter negatively.

BE HAPPY!

Motivation in life

So many of us are demotivated to achieve anything. Such people are not enthusiastic about anything. They don't want to work towards any goal. Nothing motivates them to work. Why is it so? Why many of us are not motivated? What is wrong?

We think in different ways and our thinking is decided by many factors. Some are known and some are unknown. The known factors are - thinking, circumstances, early upbringing, living style, culture, family support, friends, own intelligence etc. Our thoughts and our mental makeup is also decided by many factors that are yet not known. Two persons of similar upbringing may be facing similar situation, but react in opposite ways? there are so many whys about the human mind that it is very difficult to determine about what may happen.

Coming back to the central question - why are some of us totally demotivated? There is no easy answer. Can anything be done to propel such people towards work? Can one do anything to make them enthusiastitic about anything, so that they begin working towards it?

Take your own example. You are motivated to do one thing, but totally demotivated by something else. A mathematician may get very excited looking at a Math problem, but remain unaffected by the greatest pieces of music? Why? The musician acts exactly opposite, or may get equally excited by maths problem and music. Why? Our mind is a complex structure, about which we ourselves don't know much. How many of us can claim to know about their own mind? They may know about thier abilities and disabilities, their likes and dislikes, etc. but can they predict about their own reaction in a situation? very difficult.

One has to find one's own answers in such situations. One has to reflect himself/herself and decide about the action that can be taken to break the unmotivated state. Friends, family and even medical science can help one to a certain extent, but the final destination has to be reached by the person on his/her own.

If at anytime, you notice that a friend of yours is getting demotivated about life, try to inspire him/her as much as you can. Even if you are physically away from your friend you can send him inspirational ecards and tell him to download motivational screensavers and wallpapers. So motivate everyone who needs the boost.

Three Inspirations for Happiness

The following three inspirations were adapted from A Daily Dose of Happiness, and they represent three key ways to increase our happiness.

1. FORGIVING FOR HAPPINESS

We like to think we are better than our friends below us in the food chain, such as the octopus and the snail. After all, we have love. We feel happiness. We have empathy. We have a conscience. We can reason.

We can also hold onto grudges.

Grudges are, in fact, prickly little creatures that worm their way into our hearts. Holding onto them is a self-defeating exercise.

Fortunately, forgiveness is also uniquely human. Forgiveness cleanses the spirit. Forgiveness let's us get on with enjoying our lives instead of being preoccupied with someone else's. Forgiveness opens the door to happiness.

2. SUPPORTING FOR HAPPINESS

When things seem to be very bleak, it does not take much to lift someone's spirits. Sometimes all it takes is to let somebody know they are not alone.

That is why it is so important to smile at people, especially if they look down. And if you know what is weighing the person down, let them know they are not alone. Don't go burdening them with all your miseries, but let them know you have been there.

Guess what? You will feel happiness for having helped them, too.

3. ACCEPTING FOR HAPPINESS

There is no such thing as happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Too many people just don't know how to make peace with themselves.

Peace begins with acceptance. Whether we agree with everything we do (like the environmentalist who sometimes throws out a recyclable container), it is important to accept what we do.

Do we always make the best choices? No. But they are the choices we make.

Do we always treat people with the most respect? No. But it is how we treat people.

Can we improve? Yes, and we should. But that is a project for the future. First we must accept who we are now, rather than condemning ourselves. Then we can move to improve the person we will be tomorrow. Both acceptance today and improvements tomorrow will increase our happiness.

Doing What You Love

What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m sure you were asked this question at least once when you were a youngster. When asked the question, did you have an answer at the ready, or did you need a few minutes to think about it? We all had dreams of becoming something great, like a fireman, a teacher, or a rock star, just to name a few. Well, how did you do? Maybe you never aspired to be what you set out to be or said that you would become. But then again, things change. The older we get, our tastes change, our view of the world changes, even our goals change.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my career path is to do something you love to do. Why is this important? I feel that if you enjoy what you make a living at, you end up being happy in more ways than one. Life itself becomes much more interesting and fun. You find yourself speaking passionately to others about your work. The experiences you have along the way become much more rewarding, and enrich your life in many ways. You meet fascinating people. I know people who have turned favorite hobbies into small businesses, and have succeeded. Sure, they may have had to sacrifice a steady paycheck for their happiness, but not one of them either turned back or gave up. Their passion carried them through to success.

While no job or business is perfect, the important thing is to enjoy it, even learn from it. If you are unhappy in your current situation, why not take steps now to change it? Somewhere out there is a job or business that is perfect for you. If you are already there, I applaud you. If not, realize that it may take some time to figure out what you really want to do, and even more time to actually get there. That’s all right! I can tell you from experience that finding and doing what you love is absolutely worth it, every step of the way. All of the research, training, and hands-on experience has made me a stronger, happier person. Feeling in charge of my own destiny…well, there just is no greater feeling.

Do what you love, and love what you do, whatever that may be. You’ll be happier for it, trust me. I promise you will never look back.

Be A Leader Not A Follower

Most people in life are happy to follow the lead of other people, to sit on the fence in a debate or have the attitude of hiding at the back of the class. The most successful people are leaders and make things happen for themselves by taking a positive attitude and through working very hard to reach their goals. We are all able to become leaders and this article may help you to achieve this status.

I grew up as a very nervous person, who had very little self-confidence and who was very shy. I was not happy being this way and often felt jealous of other people who were happy to speak up and take control of tasks and situations. I wanted to be one of these leaders and not the follower that I certainly had become.

In my early twenties, I decided that the time had arrived to make a series of life changing decisions. I was determined to have a happy and successful life and was aware that I needed to change my whole attitude and approach to life.

I was not happy at where I worked and joined an employment agency in an attempt to find alternative employment. In the reception area of the agency, I started speaking to a man who was also their hoping to find a different job. His name was Mark and we got on well and wished each other the best of luck in our quest to find work. We even exchanged phone numbers and vowed to keep each other up to date with our progress.

I was then interviewed by a man who explained his plan to help me to find this new role of work. He was very bright, clever and positive and had many interesting ideas. He seemed very confident that I would soon be employed for a different company more suited to the skills which I had.

At one stage of the meeting he described the scenario of a group interview. He suggested that we may be ushered into a large room with a big table. As we sat down there would be a sheet of paper asking the group to debate a particular subject. He stated that all of the people in the room would be in the same position, all looking for work, all nervous, however that in that room I could be whoever I wanted to be. He said that I needed to stand up and take the lead by stating that I would act as chairman and that if anyone had a comment that they wanted to make, that they could raise their hand. If I did this I would show my prospective employer that I was a leader.

I went home and thought about this and did not believe I had it in me to act in the way that he wanted me to, as I was not a leader. Later that evening Mark phoned and all he was talking about was the group interview scenario. He also stated that there was no way that he would be able to stand up either in the way that had been described.

I did not have to ever attend a group interview, but Mark did. He surprised himself by carrying out the advice and stated that after he had said his initial statement about being the chairman, that he had never felt so powerful and in control. For the rest of the day other members of the group had been regularly asking him questions as if he was some sort of team leader. He was very proud of himself and I am happy to report that he was successful at that interview and is very happy in his new position.

He has also taken the success and learning experience into his social life and states that he has never had a higher self-esteem. I am very pleased for him as he is a genuine person who works very hard. He is also one of only a few friends that I can honestly say that I trust.

I have taken inspiration from Mark and have entered into a career of helping people who stutter, to achieve fluency. This is something which I really enjoy and which gives me a large amount of job satisfaction. I am also far more confident than I ever have been and have at last found happiness.

In conclusion we all have it in us to be a leader. We need to be brave and determined to take control and remember that all we can do in life is to try our best. We are only sure about living one life, so lets be happy and not accept second best. Be a leader in life, not a follower.

A Better You: Your 7 days program to self-improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamor. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

Manifest a Desire

What does it mean to manifest a desire? Lets look at the words manifest and desire. Manifest means to offer proof, attest to or to display clearly.

So when we say manifest a desire, we say to display your desire as having been fulfilled or to offer proof of something.

For example if your desire is to have a house and you eventually have gotten the house you wanted then its safe to say that your desire has been manifested.

Now I have first explained what it means to manifest a desire. So lets now talk about various ways that one can manifest a desire.

One of the ways and the most popular way to manifest a desire is through action. In other words you define what it is you want or desire and you start working on it.

But is that the best way to manifest a desire? I think not. Why do I say that. Action is effort and effort is taxing and besides, there's no guarantee that you will manifest your desires.

Just look around you in the world. Everybody is working themselves to a standstill, but does it mean they are getting what they want?

Hardly. They are just barely getting by. People are having houses and cars but its not really theirs. This is not really a good way to get the things you want.

There is another and better way to manifest a desire and it is to use your mind. You see your mind is much more powerful then many people realize.

When you use pure action to manifest your desires you are chasing after something that is doing it's best to run away from you. On the other hand, when you use your mind and the laws of the Universe you are attracting what you want towards you.

The benefits of using your mind to manifest a desire are many, but let me give you just a few.

* It takes less time,

* It takes less effort,

* You are happier,

* You have time to spend with the people you love,

* Your success is guaranteed

However when you try to manifest your desire through pure action, this is what you get.

* You may not enjoy what you do, like with most people, because you only do it to manifest a desire,

* You are constantly tired

* You are frustrated and angry that things are nor working out for you,

* You have no time for the people in your life because you're constantly working.

So as you can see from the above. Action is no substitute for pure focussed energy to manifest your desires faster then you can imagine.

Remember the times when you believed in yourself and were positive about something, how it went? And remember the times when you did something mechanically without really believing in it?

That's the power of belief and though demonstrated there.

You can manifest your desires and you can start today, using your mind.

Attract success instead of chasing it. Visit my website and discover the tools I use to manifest my desires.

Interview Technique - How To Be Successful At Interview

Remember most interviewers will have made their minds up in the first 2 minutes. Be on time, look the part and look as if you really want the job.

Think about job and the image you present. It is your opportunity to impress not shock. Be comfortable but dress the part. Nails, hair should be clean and well presented, your shoes shiny, the interviewers should notice you rather than your jewellery or perfume/aftershave.

Smile, you need to show that you are enthusiastic

Think about how you sit, sit back in the seat but don’t sprawl. Think about what you are going to do with your hands.

Make eye contact, it is usual to make the person who asked the question the person of main focus. Remember to scan the panel so everyone feels included. Looking at your hands, the floor or out of the window is a real turn off when you interview someone.

Most interviews start with a question about you…”So tell us a little about yourself.” Prepare the answer so you can feel relaxed. Think about the high lights rather than give a 10-minute ramble.

Watch the interviewers body language. If they are falling asleep it is a bad sign. You can always ask if they would like more information.

Prepare thoroughly, research what the job entails. Consider the skills and knowledge base needed and do a self-audit comparing it with what you have to offer. Enthusiasm and energy can often make up for lack of enthusiasm particularly if you make it obvious that you have done your research and have the potential to learn.

Most interviews are lost because the candidate doesn’t actually listen to the question. Listen carefully; if you don’t understand what they want ask them to repeat the question.

Think about exactly what they are asking – what do they need to know? Is it referring to particular skills, knowledge, principles, understanding, your experience etc.


Use the question as a platform to sell yourself, but be honest. If it is appropriate use the question to give concrete examples of what you have done/can do. Be careful not to become anecdotal you must make a clear connection between the question and your answer.

If you don’t know something it isn’t the end of the world. Interviewers would rather hear, “I don’t know but I’d be really keen to learn,” than discover too late that you have been dishonest.


Finally remember that most people who interview are also anxious, as the success of their business is dependent on appointing the right people. Do your best, be yourself and if you don’t get the job ask for feedback on your interview. In this way the interview becomes part of your professional development and not a failure.

Good Luck!

How Do You Define Success?

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
~Arnold H. Glasow

This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.

One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a teacher and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.

If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.

Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?

We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.

How do you define success?

Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?

For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a positive way? I hope that people judge me as a good person and that if I died tomorrow that there would be great mourning.

If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.