People complain. They’re complaining all the time about everything. As a child, I was innocent enough to believe what people were saying. I really thought there were plenty of valid reasons to complain: the weather (most often), lack of money (runner-up), the neighbors, husband or wife, the children (me, in this case), civilization (or the lack of it), bad health, etc. I assumed the world just turned out to be like this and there was nothing much we could do. It was called “fate” or something.
The thing to do was to pray. Not to ask for a better life. No! I learned to pray to ask God to forgive me for my sins. I was a nice little girl, doing very well at school, polite with the neighbors, helpful at home, so it was rather difficult to keep finding sins for our weekly confession. But because human beings are profoundly sinful by birth, they told me, I had to go confess anyway. The nuns at school came up with a solution to help us out: they “prepared” our sins for us. Every Wednesday, on confession day, they gave us a pink paper with our “confessions of the day.” I remember feeling sorry for the poor priest, hidden in his little black cabin, spending the entire day listening to the confessions of 600 little girls, endlessly repeating the same sins over and over…
Growing up, I figured something was missing. Pretending to be sinful by repeating sins someone else had cooked up for me, that could not be what life is about. I refused to further confess sins that I had not committed. I refused to believe that I was the cause of my misery, and that I had to pray every day without things getting better!
When I was 26, I went to Africa. There I met my husband (he’s from Belgium) and together we had a wonderful time, with plenty of sunshine and plenty of money; circumstances people usually don’t complain about, right? According to my childhood logic, people only complain for a reason: lousy weather (too cold, too much rain), lack of money, etc. But what I discovered over there seriously opened my eyes! My “white” friends just went on complaining: about the weather (too hot), about the service (5 servants and still they were complaining) or about how things were too expensive – while they were earning 5 times as much as before!
I discovered there and then that the complaining was not based on any objective reasons. I also noticed that the black people, who were living in their villages with close to nothing, were not complaining. I got interested in this phenomenon: they had nothing except a big smile on their face, while we had everything and were still complaining! How could this be?
It became crystal clear to me that the complaints had nothing to do with the outer circumstances. It was an attitude, a habit. Next, I wanted to find out where this habit came from. So I examined the way of life of the local people and compared it with our way of life. When I finally came up with the explanation, it changed my life forever!
There are two important differences between them and us. The first difference is that they have a social network to help everyone in the village. They stick together. They don’t push out people who don’t fit the norm. In our society, everybody who is a bit different is sent to an “institution.” An institution is a place to collect those individuals who cannot follow the fast pace of society and thus fall out of the boat. Most institutions have great walls to prevent us from “seeing” that these people really exist. They look more like a prison than a shelter.
Who are these people that don’t fit in our society, put away behind walls so we don’t have to confront them? They are the disabled, the diseased, the dangerous ones, the mentally retarded or disturbed, those who are too slow (they go to special schools), too difficult to handle (they go to educational institutions) and those who are too tired and too old (we put them in expensive homes).
There in Africa, everybody stays in his own village and is accepted and taken care of (except the really dangerous ones, they go to prison). Everybody has a natural social network and access to help. You are not isolated from society merely because you cannot walk or because you are mentally slow. They stick together. I figured out that inner loneliness and isolation is one of the main reasons why we are complaining so much.
The second difference is that all of these people are connected to something “greater” than themselves. They have a strong faith in a god who takes care of them. They spend a lot of time performing rituals to please their god(s) and get good health and harvest in return.
I gave these two differences a lot of thought and concluded that creating social networks of people and a solid relationship with something bigger than ourselves, are vitally important fundaments of human happiness.
It’s all about “connection.” Connection to each other. Connection to the Universe. In the meantime I found out that good things can happen only when we stay connected to each other and to the Universe. I started studying the Laws of the Universe and spent a lot of energy helping people establish a connection to each other and to the Universe. In fact, this became the very purpose of my life.
Many people think they are alone, without help, and have to do everything by themselves. This is not the case. You are guided, you are loved by Something Greater than your little personality. Try to feel this connection. Take time everyday to connect to the Source. Do like the African people I was lucky to meet so many years ago: create a real connection between yourself, the Universe and people around you, without being overly dependent on others. You will never feel alone again and you will be able to spread a lot more love around.
Living this kind of “connected life” will make you forget about your former complaints. What’s there to complain about? Your complaints will be replaced by gratitude! Say “thank you” to the Universe for all the things you already have, and for all the wonders that may still cross your path. Express your sincere gratitude for all the love you have received and will keep receiving throughout your life. Be grateful for the clean water coming out of the tap by a simple gesture of your hand, while many people spend six hours every day to get a little bit of water, and others die of thirst. Be grateful for the light you switch on with a simple flick. Large parts of the world have to do without electric power! Say “thank you” for the variety of food that is available to you every day – a lot of people have to get by on one scarce meal a day, or are simply starving.
There is so much to be grateful for. I felt so ashamed there in Africa, at 26 years old, hearing my white friends, bathing in luxury but still complaining, while my black friends, who had close to nothing, were laughing, friendly, grateful and most of the time quite happy with the little things in life.
It’s all in the mind. Gratitude and happiness are an attitude, a state of being. It has nothing to do with circumstances. The attitude is gratitude.
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
January 5, 2012
December 17, 2011
“7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier”
All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.
Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!
1. Go for a walk.
Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.
2. Listen to quality music.
Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.
3. Open yourself to discovering something new.
Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.
4. Find something to laugh at.
Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.
5. Simple breathing meditation.
Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.
6. Doodling for the fun of it.
Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.
7. Think of others less fortunate.
The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.
These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.
Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!
1. Go for a walk.
Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.
2. Listen to quality music.
Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.
3. Open yourself to discovering something new.
Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.
4. Find something to laugh at.
Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.
5. Simple breathing meditation.
Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.
6. Doodling for the fun of it.
Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.
7. Think of others less fortunate.
The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.
These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.
"Secrets of a Positive Attitude"
Greetings self help reader,
Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.
This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.
A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse
or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.
The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.
You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.
Much continued positive attitude success,
The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"
Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.
This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.
A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse
or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.
The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.
You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.
Much continued positive attitude success,
The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"
"The Inside is What Counts"
Greetings self-help readers,
This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.
Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawl I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.
Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.
Much continued positive attitude success,
The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"
This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.
Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawl I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.
Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.
Much continued positive attitude success,
The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"
20 Ways To Make Someone Smile
Do you want to put a smile on someone's face today? Maybe make their day a little better. It won't cost you a single penny or much time to do just that. And because smiling is contagious, it probably won't just be one person you make smile today.
Here are 20 ways to turn that frown upside down.
1. Send some flowers to your partner at work.
2. Compliment a friend or work colleague on their appearance.
3. Donate something to charity.
4. Take a friend out to lunch.
5. Let someone know you miss them.
6. Make a surprise telephone call to your partner at work, just to say hi.
7. Hold a door open for someone walking behind you.
8. Hug your partner for no reason.
9. Leave a joke on a friends answer machine.
10. Send a card to a friend letting them know what a good friend they are.
11. Give up your seat on the train to someone when there aren't any left.
12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping.
14. When it's raining, plan an indoor picnic with your children.
15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it.
16. Send someone an unusual and unexpected gift like chocolate, flowers or sex toys.
17. Tell your child you're proud of them.
18. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner one night, especially if they normally do the cooking.
20. Tell your partner you love them.
Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile.
Here are 5 more facts about smiling.
1. Women smile more than men.
2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better.
3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others.
4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness.
5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person.
Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks.
Here are 20 ways to turn that frown upside down.
1. Send some flowers to your partner at work.
2. Compliment a friend or work colleague on their appearance.
3. Donate something to charity.
4. Take a friend out to lunch.
5. Let someone know you miss them.
6. Make a surprise telephone call to your partner at work, just to say hi.
7. Hold a door open for someone walking behind you.
8. Hug your partner for no reason.
9. Leave a joke on a friends answer machine.
10. Send a card to a friend letting them know what a good friend they are.
11. Give up your seat on the train to someone when there aren't any left.
12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping.
14. When it's raining, plan an indoor picnic with your children.
15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it.
16. Send someone an unusual and unexpected gift like chocolate, flowers or sex toys.
17. Tell your child you're proud of them.
18. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner one night, especially if they normally do the cooking.
20. Tell your partner you love them.
Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile.
Here are 5 more facts about smiling.
1. Women smile more than men.
2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better.
3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others.
4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness.
5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person.
Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks.
December 8, 2011
Audiences Are Your Friend
For the rank amateur to the ignorant professional, audiences create the same effect no matter how small they are to a speaker. Fear and anxiety.
From a single person to a crowd as big as the fans in the Super Bowl, speaking in front of a serious listening audience is the true test and baptism of fire.
Despite this, audiences are predictable. Audiences listen to you because they want to learn something from the speaker.
Following this logic, the speaker would do well to follow the strategy of making it informative as well as interesting to listeners to see your speech through till the end.
Here are some tips on how you can have the audience listen in rapt attention.
1. Speak according to the listeners’ interests. It is always a good idea to find out what the crowd you are speaking to is interested in. For example, if you have more teenagers in the crowd, you don’t really want to talk about your subject in a way that bores them, like good education. Other aspects to consider would be the local culture, age, sports, religious inclinations, etc. Talk about what’s important to them, something they can easily relate to without a stretch of imagination.
2. Praise the audience. Audiences are human too, and each and every one of them has a need to be acknowledged as much as you want to be acknowledged for speaking well in front of them. There is only one requirement for this maxim, that your praise be one hundred percent sincere. Anything less and you’ll have resentment in your hands.
3. Connect with the audience. Find a common thread that makes the audience relate to you, and you’ll find that the speech will come through really well. Finding a common thread humanizes you and the speech. It makes them want to listen to you because it may in some way be of great benefit to them.
4. Have the audience participate. Get somebody to come onstage and participate in a demonstration. Ask questions of the audience. Get feedback. Encourage them to walk up to the microphone and give you a piece of their mind. The point is to involve the audience, once more, making it more real to them. Taking them along with you in your experience.
5. Less you, more them. Play yourself down. Nobody, especially an audience, likes to be lectured to. This will cause resentment that will last a long time. Never feel that you are above them. The better way to think about your audience would be that you care about their welfare. Think of yourself as their best friend, and more often than not, this will hold you in good stead.
From a single person to a crowd as big as the fans in the Super Bowl, speaking in front of a serious listening audience is the true test and baptism of fire.
Despite this, audiences are predictable. Audiences listen to you because they want to learn something from the speaker.
Following this logic, the speaker would do well to follow the strategy of making it informative as well as interesting to listeners to see your speech through till the end.
Here are some tips on how you can have the audience listen in rapt attention.
1. Speak according to the listeners’ interests. It is always a good idea to find out what the crowd you are speaking to is interested in. For example, if you have more teenagers in the crowd, you don’t really want to talk about your subject in a way that bores them, like good education. Other aspects to consider would be the local culture, age, sports, religious inclinations, etc. Talk about what’s important to them, something they can easily relate to without a stretch of imagination.
2. Praise the audience. Audiences are human too, and each and every one of them has a need to be acknowledged as much as you want to be acknowledged for speaking well in front of them. There is only one requirement for this maxim, that your praise be one hundred percent sincere. Anything less and you’ll have resentment in your hands.
3. Connect with the audience. Find a common thread that makes the audience relate to you, and you’ll find that the speech will come through really well. Finding a common thread humanizes you and the speech. It makes them want to listen to you because it may in some way be of great benefit to them.
4. Have the audience participate. Get somebody to come onstage and participate in a demonstration. Ask questions of the audience. Get feedback. Encourage them to walk up to the microphone and give you a piece of their mind. The point is to involve the audience, once more, making it more real to them. Taking them along with you in your experience.
5. Less you, more them. Play yourself down. Nobody, especially an audience, likes to be lectured to. This will cause resentment that will last a long time. Never feel that you are above them. The better way to think about your audience would be that you care about their welfare. Think of yourself as their best friend, and more often than not, this will hold you in good stead.
December 1, 2011
Be Happy! Home is the Happiest Place to Live in
“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”—Thomas Jefferson.
The world may be a dreary, dreadful, and dangerous place to venture into. There may be cut-throat competition in which survival of the mean, cunning, and bully only is possible. It may not be a place for gentle, honest, and kind person like you. It is full of murderers, criminals, rapists, and swindlers. They are ready to snatch away the loaf of bread from your hand. You need a sanctuary from them. You need a place where there is love and care, understanding and compassion, give and take. You need somebody who could guide and protect you. You need somebody who could be equal partner in your joys and sorrows. You need somebody upon whom you could shower your love and care. You need a home and a family.
Parents sacrifice a lot and endure great hardships in up-bringing their children. They are selfless in their love and can even lay their lives for the protection of their children. A spouse is a life time partner in your days of sunshine and rain. Brothers and sisters are your friends and supporters. Your children are your life time fans who love you unconditionally. The love, care, and support of family is a great happiness. Blessed is the person who has got a family. And who amongst us has not got one? But we take family for granted. We don’t recognize it as a great source of happiness. The more happiness you give to your family the more you extract out of it.
You are born into a family and grow up within a family. A family not only provides comfort, enjoyment, and security, but it also gives emotional and spiritual bliss. In fact, one may find so much happiness within family that he or she may not need to search it outside it. The love and care of mother and father, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, wife or husband sustain us. Though love is one and the same yet the love of each is so different too. A family may extend beyond these immediate relations and may include grand parents, grand children, in-laws, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and other relatives.
Can all the money of the world buy the love and affection of one’s parents? Can one be happy without them? How much enjoyment and happiness they add to our life? Similar is the case with brothers and sisters. At a later stage of life husband or wife becomes practically the sole arbiter of our happiness. Man or woman’s happiness nearly entirely depends on his or her spouse. At a still later stage sons and daughters become a great source of happiness. Bertrand Russell said, ‘I have found the happiness of parenthood greater than any other that I have experienced.’ Family relations give happiness, but at the same time to be a relation also gives happiness. It is happiness unlimited to be a son, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a husband, and a wife.
When you kiss your child, don’t you get a kiss in return?
When you hug your sister, don’t you get a hug in return?
When you love your spouse, don’t you get love in return?
Be Happy! You have your family which loves you!
BE HAPPY!
The world may be a dreary, dreadful, and dangerous place to venture into. There may be cut-throat competition in which survival of the mean, cunning, and bully only is possible. It may not be a place for gentle, honest, and kind person like you. It is full of murderers, criminals, rapists, and swindlers. They are ready to snatch away the loaf of bread from your hand. You need a sanctuary from them. You need a place where there is love and care, understanding and compassion, give and take. You need somebody who could guide and protect you. You need somebody who could be equal partner in your joys and sorrows. You need somebody upon whom you could shower your love and care. You need a home and a family.
Parents sacrifice a lot and endure great hardships in up-bringing their children. They are selfless in their love and can even lay their lives for the protection of their children. A spouse is a life time partner in your days of sunshine and rain. Brothers and sisters are your friends and supporters. Your children are your life time fans who love you unconditionally. The love, care, and support of family is a great happiness. Blessed is the person who has got a family. And who amongst us has not got one? But we take family for granted. We don’t recognize it as a great source of happiness. The more happiness you give to your family the more you extract out of it.
You are born into a family and grow up within a family. A family not only provides comfort, enjoyment, and security, but it also gives emotional and spiritual bliss. In fact, one may find so much happiness within family that he or she may not need to search it outside it. The love and care of mother and father, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, wife or husband sustain us. Though love is one and the same yet the love of each is so different too. A family may extend beyond these immediate relations and may include grand parents, grand children, in-laws, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and other relatives.
Can all the money of the world buy the love and affection of one’s parents? Can one be happy without them? How much enjoyment and happiness they add to our life? Similar is the case with brothers and sisters. At a later stage of life husband or wife becomes practically the sole arbiter of our happiness. Man or woman’s happiness nearly entirely depends on his or her spouse. At a still later stage sons and daughters become a great source of happiness. Bertrand Russell said, ‘I have found the happiness of parenthood greater than any other that I have experienced.’ Family relations give happiness, but at the same time to be a relation also gives happiness. It is happiness unlimited to be a son, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a husband, and a wife.
When you kiss your child, don’t you get a kiss in return?
When you hug your sister, don’t you get a hug in return?
When you love your spouse, don’t you get love in return?
Be Happy! You have your family which loves you!
BE HAPPY!
October 28, 2011
Forgiving Yourself and Others
At some point in our lives, all of us have been wronged by another person and felt hurt, angry or resentful. This is a natural reaction and part of being human. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.
“All illness is caused by not forgiving.”
– Native American belief
Forgiving others – or yourself – does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.
Forgiveness is about creating a state “for giving” – both to self and others – and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.
Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.
“All illness is caused by not forgiving.”
– Native American belief
Forgiving others – or yourself – does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.
Forgiveness is about creating a state “for giving” – both to self and others – and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.
Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.
Coping With Stress
With Christmas just around the corner, many people are racking their brains trying to figure out what gifts to give to everyone. Finding the time to shop on top of all the other daily stresses we encounter just adds to our dilemma. (No, I am not going to try and sell you products here or give you gift ideas.)
Holidays bring about their own added stress with all the shopping and party going that must be done. For some it is the straw that breaks the camels back so before it arrives we must be prepared to cope with it.
Stress is an inevitable part of life. We will never be able to get rid of it completely. In fact, you wouldn’t want to get rid of it completely because, believe it or not, stress is also good for you. Stress revs up our internal engines and makes us ready to take action. The problems arise when we don’t take care of the situations at hand. This keeps our engines running but we are not going anywhere. Life is not meant to be lived as a Formula 1 Race.
Lily Tomlin once said, “Some people say life is a rat race. If we take that attitude, then even if you win, you are still a rat”.
Life doesn’t have to be a rat race. We can learn to live with stress as we learn to allow balance into our lives.
How can we cope with stress?
The first step in coping with stress is to be sure that we get enough sleep. This is the first area that people fail in. They feel that because there is so much to do they need to cut back on sleep in order to get more time in their day. This is a never-ending devil’s circle because the less sleep we have the more tired we are and the less able to cope and then the more stress we feel.
Dealing with stress does not depend on the quantity of time we have but on the quality. If we are well rested we are clear headed and able to come up with solutions to our problems. If we are overtired we will accomplish little and keep going in circles.
Try and find a balance in your sleep cycle. Go to bed the same time each night and get yourself into a routine that your body can count on.
So rule #1 Get more sleep.
Rule #2 Eat a balanced diet.
What does diet have to do with stress? Everything! Our bodies need to run as a well tuned engine. If we feed it crap you will feel like crap. You need a balanced diet with fruits and vegetables and lots of water to keep running well.
Rule #3 Stop Procrastinating
Procrastination is the biggest stress producer. If you don’t have time to tackle your problems all at once at least put aside some time each day to work on a part of the problem. Take care of it in little chunks and before you know it the problem is gone.
A Mountain is moved one stone at a time. Start moving your stones and you’ll get rid of your mountain.
Rule #4 Manage Your Time Effectively
Just like money, time also must be budgeted. You only have so many hours in a day and they must be used judiciously. Balance here is the key. Make sure to take some time to work, deal with problems and relax.
You must be sure to include relaxation time for yourself, even if it is only 15 minutes a day. Add it to your schedule and make sure you take this time for yourself. Even if you must go to your room and lock the door to get it, be sure to do it.
There are many things you can do to relax and get your mind at ease. Simple things such as a walk outside can help restore frazzled nerves and give you time to reflect on your life. Other choices would be a nice, warm bath, or a quiet spot where you can meditate.
Mediation does not have to be anything grand or complicated. Just find some quiet time and let all cares out of your mind. Think of nothing for 15 minutes. I find it easier to imagine a black screen in front of me. Every time a thought comes through my mind I remind myself that I do not want to think right now. My black screen is on. Just do nothing, think nothing, be totally at peace for 15 minutes. It will do wonders for you. After you will find that you can think much more clearly. A quiet mind brings about answers that you would never usually think of.
Lastly, the effects stress will have on you is defendant upon the way you react to it. Stress is like the bully at school who keeps coming around to taunt you. You can let him have your candy or you can stand up and do something about it. The choice is yours.
May the Christmas season bring you peace.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Holidays bring about their own added stress with all the shopping and party going that must be done. For some it is the straw that breaks the camels back so before it arrives we must be prepared to cope with it.
Stress is an inevitable part of life. We will never be able to get rid of it completely. In fact, you wouldn’t want to get rid of it completely because, believe it or not, stress is also good for you. Stress revs up our internal engines and makes us ready to take action. The problems arise when we don’t take care of the situations at hand. This keeps our engines running but we are not going anywhere. Life is not meant to be lived as a Formula 1 Race.
Lily Tomlin once said, “Some people say life is a rat race. If we take that attitude, then even if you win, you are still a rat”.
Life doesn’t have to be a rat race. We can learn to live with stress as we learn to allow balance into our lives.
How can we cope with stress?
The first step in coping with stress is to be sure that we get enough sleep. This is the first area that people fail in. They feel that because there is so much to do they need to cut back on sleep in order to get more time in their day. This is a never-ending devil’s circle because the less sleep we have the more tired we are and the less able to cope and then the more stress we feel.
Dealing with stress does not depend on the quantity of time we have but on the quality. If we are well rested we are clear headed and able to come up with solutions to our problems. If we are overtired we will accomplish little and keep going in circles.
Try and find a balance in your sleep cycle. Go to bed the same time each night and get yourself into a routine that your body can count on.
So rule #1 Get more sleep.
Rule #2 Eat a balanced diet.
What does diet have to do with stress? Everything! Our bodies need to run as a well tuned engine. If we feed it crap you will feel like crap. You need a balanced diet with fruits and vegetables and lots of water to keep running well.
Rule #3 Stop Procrastinating
Procrastination is the biggest stress producer. If you don’t have time to tackle your problems all at once at least put aside some time each day to work on a part of the problem. Take care of it in little chunks and before you know it the problem is gone.
A Mountain is moved one stone at a time. Start moving your stones and you’ll get rid of your mountain.
Rule #4 Manage Your Time Effectively
Just like money, time also must be budgeted. You only have so many hours in a day and they must be used judiciously. Balance here is the key. Make sure to take some time to work, deal with problems and relax.
You must be sure to include relaxation time for yourself, even if it is only 15 minutes a day. Add it to your schedule and make sure you take this time for yourself. Even if you must go to your room and lock the door to get it, be sure to do it.
There are many things you can do to relax and get your mind at ease. Simple things such as a walk outside can help restore frazzled nerves and give you time to reflect on your life. Other choices would be a nice, warm bath, or a quiet spot where you can meditate.
Mediation does not have to be anything grand or complicated. Just find some quiet time and let all cares out of your mind. Think of nothing for 15 minutes. I find it easier to imagine a black screen in front of me. Every time a thought comes through my mind I remind myself that I do not want to think right now. My black screen is on. Just do nothing, think nothing, be totally at peace for 15 minutes. It will do wonders for you. After you will find that you can think much more clearly. A quiet mind brings about answers that you would never usually think of.
Lastly, the effects stress will have on you is defendant upon the way you react to it. Stress is like the bully at school who keeps coming around to taunt you. You can let him have your candy or you can stand up and do something about it. The choice is yours.
May the Christmas season bring you peace.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
October 10, 2011
Multiple Steps To Success
Having an interest in online business, I often frequent forums that are for people who have or want a successful online business. There is one theme that recurs time and time again, and one that touches me with sadness. That is, the number of people who sound despondent and want to give up. You may think that such an attitude would be confined to those who had at been trying to get their online business going for a year or more. Often, though, it might just be a month, or like an example today, three weeks.
Such a short term view is totally unrealistic. In that particular case, the person concerned was being given a kick start by a highly experienced and well known internet marketer, for free. He was complaining already, despite not having done anything himself, that he had so far received no benefit, and that the whole idea needed to be rethought, presumably so that he could be raking in a fortune inside another month without doing any work.
That sort of attitude is likely to lead to failure for a tough ambition such as making a decent income online. Success at anything normally involves taking one step at a time, sometimes along several parallel routes that, eventually, run into one and bring you success. With working online, for example, there are a wide variety of skills, methodologies and pitfalls, all to be dealt with methodically en route to success. Success does not come quickly unless you are very lucky; but those who are patient, have a vision, and are prepared to work hard, taking a step at a time, have a very good chance of succeeding....eventually.
I was not sure whether to feel sorry for that particular poster, or annoyed with him for complaining about what was some valuable free assistance from a genuine expert. In the end, I felt neither, and left him to find out the realities of life.
Most visions of success do really need a number of steps to be taken, and success cannot be achieved in one giant leap. A good example is with a professional qualification, such as the management accounting qualification for which I studied when I was younger. The end result, the "success", was a certificate, but you could not just order that certificate. There were several series of steps:
1. 5 stages of either 3 or 4 examinations had to be passed to qualify; a total of 18 examinations in all.
2. To pass a stage, you had to pass each exam individually, which meant being well inside the top 40% of students for each one. Fail in one, and you fail the stage. That meant starting again.
3. Each examination required different skills, knowledge and practical application to succeed. Subjects were varied, such as computing, marketing, financial accounting, organization and management, contract law, business law, and corporate planning. Each was a separate step, requiring a separate approach, with no scope to put a foot wrong. Each a big step in itself, with many little steps along their own route.
Once a stage was passed successfully, it was like starting all over again with another series of steps, each getting progressively more difficult. Many students fell by the way side or had to resit. There was no avoiding the necessary steps.
That is true of most ambitions in which you seek success. If success is really worthwhile in something, it is unlikely to be easy and simple. So it is best to bear that in mind when focusing on your goal.
Once you have a vision of your goal, you need to recognize all the essential steps to the goal's realization. There is no harm in imagining the final success; visualization of fulfillment will help. However, you do need to give appropriate attention to each of the essential steps. In the professional qualification example, I hated business law, but had to give it special attention to pass, otherwise all my work on the other subjects in that stage would have been worthless. Having got through that stage, the next included company law, which was nothing more than a memory test. I hated that even more; but still had to pass it.
Most worthwhile goals have similar essential steps, which you need to recognize, and then devise a plan to address each step with whatever effort, knowledge, skills and practice you may need. Having formed your plan for each step, you can then set about them methodically, carving your way to success, one step at a time.
If you write down your goal, and then the individual, essential steps, you will have the great satisfaction of ticking off each step, and then stand back and see you have reached your vision. Your goal will be achieved.
Such a short term view is totally unrealistic. In that particular case, the person concerned was being given a kick start by a highly experienced and well known internet marketer, for free. He was complaining already, despite not having done anything himself, that he had so far received no benefit, and that the whole idea needed to be rethought, presumably so that he could be raking in a fortune inside another month without doing any work.
That sort of attitude is likely to lead to failure for a tough ambition such as making a decent income online. Success at anything normally involves taking one step at a time, sometimes along several parallel routes that, eventually, run into one and bring you success. With working online, for example, there are a wide variety of skills, methodologies and pitfalls, all to be dealt with methodically en route to success. Success does not come quickly unless you are very lucky; but those who are patient, have a vision, and are prepared to work hard, taking a step at a time, have a very good chance of succeeding....eventually.
I was not sure whether to feel sorry for that particular poster, or annoyed with him for complaining about what was some valuable free assistance from a genuine expert. In the end, I felt neither, and left him to find out the realities of life.
Most visions of success do really need a number of steps to be taken, and success cannot be achieved in one giant leap. A good example is with a professional qualification, such as the management accounting qualification for which I studied when I was younger. The end result, the "success", was a certificate, but you could not just order that certificate. There were several series of steps:
1. 5 stages of either 3 or 4 examinations had to be passed to qualify; a total of 18 examinations in all.
2. To pass a stage, you had to pass each exam individually, which meant being well inside the top 40% of students for each one. Fail in one, and you fail the stage. That meant starting again.
3. Each examination required different skills, knowledge and practical application to succeed. Subjects were varied, such as computing, marketing, financial accounting, organization and management, contract law, business law, and corporate planning. Each was a separate step, requiring a separate approach, with no scope to put a foot wrong. Each a big step in itself, with many little steps along their own route.
Once a stage was passed successfully, it was like starting all over again with another series of steps, each getting progressively more difficult. Many students fell by the way side or had to resit. There was no avoiding the necessary steps.
That is true of most ambitions in which you seek success. If success is really worthwhile in something, it is unlikely to be easy and simple. So it is best to bear that in mind when focusing on your goal.
Once you have a vision of your goal, you need to recognize all the essential steps to the goal's realization. There is no harm in imagining the final success; visualization of fulfillment will help. However, you do need to give appropriate attention to each of the essential steps. In the professional qualification example, I hated business law, but had to give it special attention to pass, otherwise all my work on the other subjects in that stage would have been worthless. Having got through that stage, the next included company law, which was nothing more than a memory test. I hated that even more; but still had to pass it.
Most worthwhile goals have similar essential steps, which you need to recognize, and then devise a plan to address each step with whatever effort, knowledge, skills and practice you may need. Having formed your plan for each step, you can then set about them methodically, carving your way to success, one step at a time.
If you write down your goal, and then the individual, essential steps, you will have the great satisfaction of ticking off each step, and then stand back and see you have reached your vision. Your goal will be achieved.
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September 9, 2011
Attracting Success
We all wish to be successful and yet somehow we seem to be missing the target. In this article we will show you how to become more successful in all your endeavors.
Success often eludes many people. Like the inevitable pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, people set their hearts on following their dreams only to wake up disappointed.
Disappointment can be crushing to people. They sit and wonder what on earth they did wrong. They may have a strong belief in that pot of gold, but a dream alone cannot make your visions a reality.
You may have read a myriad of books and followed all the rules and imagined yourself as the successful person that you want to be. Your vision may be crystal clear and that is a good thing. The Bible says, “Without a vision the people perish”. The problem remains that envisioning yourself as successful is not enough.
What are your dreams?
What are you hopes for the future?
Have you ever written them down?
If you could be anything that you wanted to be and go where you wanted to go, who would you be? What would you be like? Where would you be living?
I want you to take a few moments now and write down the answer to these questions. Be as specific as you can so you can visualize these things as being true today. Crystallize these ideals in your mind.
Don’t cheat here, this is an important exercise, now go and write the answers down on a piece of paper, or better still in a book. You can call this your Dream Book to Success.
Now ask yourself this question: What do I need to do in order to live the life I dream of?
What do I need to do to make my dreams a reality?
The first step is to make sure you do not put off the vision too far in the distance. Don’t live on tomorrow’s sunshine. At the same time, don’t expect to have a change overnight. There is no magic pill that is going to bring about your dream. There is no easy road that will bring you to the Emerald City.
Someone once said “the road to success is filled with hard knocks” and this is reality.
You CAN achieve your dreams only if you systematically prepare yourself to receive them. You also must believe that you CAN receive them.
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t, you can’t”
If you believe that you CAN achieve your dreams then it’s time for you to start planning on how you are going to make your dreams of success come true. Don’t let fear sabotage your thinking. If you have faith, you can move mountains! Sometimes though a mountain must be moved a piece at a time.
This takes planning. No amount of wishful thinking will get you what you want. Your vision may be crystal clear but with out a plan it’s just a dream. You need to plan your life in order to get the results you wish for.
You need to set goals for yourself. I know, you hate the thought of setting goals, but unless you put it down in writing and give it a date, it won’t happen. I can guarantee it.
Do you see yourself as slim and sitting on a beach somewhere? Well if you need to lose weight, dreaming isn’t going to make it happen. You must write down your goal for losing weight.
In order for my dream to come true I must lose more pounds. This is a good start. Now visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror weighing your perfect weight. Doesn’t that feel good?
This is your target, your dream, your vision. Now ask yourself, in order to reach that goal, what steps do I need to take today. Is it reasonable to say to yourself that you could lose 10 pounds a month? Too much? How about 4 pounds a month? Can you make a decision to yourself to lose 1 pound a week. In a year that would be 52 pounds! If you lost 2 pounds a week that would be 104 pounds! See how much you can do by breaking your goals down to bite size pieces. Your mountain can literally be moved piece by piece, or pound by pound in this example. Voila ! Success!
There is nothing mystical in making your dreams a success. In every situation you can do it piece by piece until your mountain is moved and you achieve Success.
Success often eludes many people. Like the inevitable pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, people set their hearts on following their dreams only to wake up disappointed.
Disappointment can be crushing to people. They sit and wonder what on earth they did wrong. They may have a strong belief in that pot of gold, but a dream alone cannot make your visions a reality.
You may have read a myriad of books and followed all the rules and imagined yourself as the successful person that you want to be. Your vision may be crystal clear and that is a good thing. The Bible says, “Without a vision the people perish”. The problem remains that envisioning yourself as successful is not enough.
What are your dreams?
What are you hopes for the future?
Have you ever written them down?
If you could be anything that you wanted to be and go where you wanted to go, who would you be? What would you be like? Where would you be living?
I want you to take a few moments now and write down the answer to these questions. Be as specific as you can so you can visualize these things as being true today. Crystallize these ideals in your mind.
Don’t cheat here, this is an important exercise, now go and write the answers down on a piece of paper, or better still in a book. You can call this your Dream Book to Success.
Now ask yourself this question: What do I need to do in order to live the life I dream of?
What do I need to do to make my dreams a reality?
The first step is to make sure you do not put off the vision too far in the distance. Don’t live on tomorrow’s sunshine. At the same time, don’t expect to have a change overnight. There is no magic pill that is going to bring about your dream. There is no easy road that will bring you to the Emerald City.
Someone once said “the road to success is filled with hard knocks” and this is reality.
You CAN achieve your dreams only if you systematically prepare yourself to receive them. You also must believe that you CAN receive them.
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t, you can’t”
If you believe that you CAN achieve your dreams then it’s time for you to start planning on how you are going to make your dreams of success come true. Don’t let fear sabotage your thinking. If you have faith, you can move mountains! Sometimes though a mountain must be moved a piece at a time.
This takes planning. No amount of wishful thinking will get you what you want. Your vision may be crystal clear but with out a plan it’s just a dream. You need to plan your life in order to get the results you wish for.
You need to set goals for yourself. I know, you hate the thought of setting goals, but unless you put it down in writing and give it a date, it won’t happen. I can guarantee it.
Do you see yourself as slim and sitting on a beach somewhere? Well if you need to lose weight, dreaming isn’t going to make it happen. You must write down your goal for losing weight.
In order for my dream to come true I must lose more pounds. This is a good start. Now visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror weighing your perfect weight. Doesn’t that feel good?
This is your target, your dream, your vision. Now ask yourself, in order to reach that goal, what steps do I need to take today. Is it reasonable to say to yourself that you could lose 10 pounds a month? Too much? How about 4 pounds a month? Can you make a decision to yourself to lose 1 pound a week. In a year that would be 52 pounds! If you lost 2 pounds a week that would be 104 pounds! See how much you can do by breaking your goals down to bite size pieces. Your mountain can literally be moved piece by piece, or pound by pound in this example. Voila ! Success!
There is nothing mystical in making your dreams a success. In every situation you can do it piece by piece until your mountain is moved and you achieve Success.
August 30, 2011
Manifest a Desire
What does it mean to manifest a desire? Lets look at the words manifest and desire. Manifest means to offer proof, attest to or to display clearly.
So when we say manifest a desire, we say to display your desire as having been fulfilled or to offer proof of something.
For example if your desire is to have a house and you eventually have gotten the house you wanted then its safe to say that your desire has been manifested.
Now I have first explained what it means to manifest a desire. So lets now talk about various ways that one can manifest a desire.
One of the ways and the most popular way to manifest a desire is through action. In other words you define what it is you want or desire and you start working on it.
But is that the best way to manifest a desire? I think not. Why do I say that. Action is effort and effort is taxing and besides, there's no guarantee that you will manifest your desires.
Just look around you in the world. Everybody is working themselves to a standstill, but does it mean they are getting what they want?
Hardly. They are just barely getting by. People are having houses and cars but its not really theirs. This is not really a good way to get the things you want.
There is another and better way to manifest a desire and it is to use your mind. You see your mind is much more powerful then many people realize.
When you use pure action to manifest your desires you are chasing after something that is doing it's best to run away from you. On the other hand, when you use your mind and the laws of the Universe you are attracting what you want towards you.
The benefits of using your mind to manifest a desire are many, but let me give you just a few.
* It takes less time,
* It takes less effort,
* You are happier,
* You have time to spend with the people you love,
* Your success is guaranteed
However when you try to manifest your desire through pure action, this is what you get.
* You may not enjoy what you do, like with most people, because you only do it to manifest a desire,
* You are constantly tired
* You are frustrated and angry that things are nor working out for you,
* You have no time for the people in your life because you're constantly working.
So as you can see from the above. Action is no substitute for pure focussed energy to manifest your desires faster then you can imagine.
Remember the times when you believed in yourself and were positive about something, how it went? And remember the times when you did something mechanically without really believing in it?
That's the power of belief and though demonstrated there.
You can manifest your desires and you can start today, using your mind.
Attract success instead of chasing it. Visit my website and discover the tools I use to manifest my desires.
So when we say manifest a desire, we say to display your desire as having been fulfilled or to offer proof of something.
For example if your desire is to have a house and you eventually have gotten the house you wanted then its safe to say that your desire has been manifested.
Now I have first explained what it means to manifest a desire. So lets now talk about various ways that one can manifest a desire.
One of the ways and the most popular way to manifest a desire is through action. In other words you define what it is you want or desire and you start working on it.
But is that the best way to manifest a desire? I think not. Why do I say that. Action is effort and effort is taxing and besides, there's no guarantee that you will manifest your desires.
Just look around you in the world. Everybody is working themselves to a standstill, but does it mean they are getting what they want?
Hardly. They are just barely getting by. People are having houses and cars but its not really theirs. This is not really a good way to get the things you want.
There is another and better way to manifest a desire and it is to use your mind. You see your mind is much more powerful then many people realize.
When you use pure action to manifest your desires you are chasing after something that is doing it's best to run away from you. On the other hand, when you use your mind and the laws of the Universe you are attracting what you want towards you.
The benefits of using your mind to manifest a desire are many, but let me give you just a few.
* It takes less time,
* It takes less effort,
* You are happier,
* You have time to spend with the people you love,
* Your success is guaranteed
However when you try to manifest your desire through pure action, this is what you get.
* You may not enjoy what you do, like with most people, because you only do it to manifest a desire,
* You are constantly tired
* You are frustrated and angry that things are nor working out for you,
* You have no time for the people in your life because you're constantly working.
So as you can see from the above. Action is no substitute for pure focussed energy to manifest your desires faster then you can imagine.
Remember the times when you believed in yourself and were positive about something, how it went? And remember the times when you did something mechanically without really believing in it?
That's the power of belief and though demonstrated there.
You can manifest your desires and you can start today, using your mind.
Attract success instead of chasing it. Visit my website and discover the tools I use to manifest my desires.
July 21, 2011
A Key To Success
Emulating successful people is one key to success. Be careful, though, if you ask them for advice. Often, people don't really know why they succeed, but they will give you as many explanations as you want anyhow. One night on the news, I saw a 100-year-old man explain that smoking a big cigar every day was one of the secrets of his longevity. It might be nice to know why he has lived so long, but I'm pretty sure we won't learn by asking him.
Key To Success - Study Successful People
One key, then, isn't in doing what successful people say, but rather doing what they do. This is how to learn success. Naturally you have to look closely and apply a little brainpower to see what they are really doing that is causing their success.
A successful real estate investor told me he didn't believe in setting goals. However, watching him and listening to him, I came to realize that he knew just where he expected to be with his projects in six months. This, of course, is goal-setting - he just called the process something else.
Never stop listening to what successful people have to say, but read between the lines. Listen for insight into how they think about things, how they approach their challenges. Suppose the advice of a successful basketball player is just to practice more, but he casually mentions "I saw that going in," after a great shot. Isn't it time to start visualizing your shots going in?
Key To Success - Model Successful People
You won't always know what is causing a person's success. Internet marketers promote their websites by exchanging links, but when I first tried to exchange links with other websites, the owners didn't respond to my emails. Then I found a simple email letter used by a successful internet marketer to get links. It sounded silly to me, and I wanted to change it, but I tried it anyhow. It worked repeatedly.
It is more important to do the right things than to understand why they are right. To also understand is great, but at first, it may be best to just copy many of the actions, attitudes and approaches of someone who is succeeding. Try to model success, even before you understand it.
As you learn more, you can drop those parts that aren't contributing, and add elements of your own. If you model a successful parent, for example, and life with your children gets better, does it matter if you know right away which changes were the most effective? Of course not.
Is it better to understand why what you are doing is working? Certainly, but you may not ever understand why some things work, and this is okay too. It is better to have success than to explain it, so find successful people and do what they do, not what they say. It is an important key to success.
Key To Success - Study Successful People
One key, then, isn't in doing what successful people say, but rather doing what they do. This is how to learn success. Naturally you have to look closely and apply a little brainpower to see what they are really doing that is causing their success.
A successful real estate investor told me he didn't believe in setting goals. However, watching him and listening to him, I came to realize that he knew just where he expected to be with his projects in six months. This, of course, is goal-setting - he just called the process something else.
Never stop listening to what successful people have to say, but read between the lines. Listen for insight into how they think about things, how they approach their challenges. Suppose the advice of a successful basketball player is just to practice more, but he casually mentions "I saw that going in," after a great shot. Isn't it time to start visualizing your shots going in?
Key To Success - Model Successful People
You won't always know what is causing a person's success. Internet marketers promote their websites by exchanging links, but when I first tried to exchange links with other websites, the owners didn't respond to my emails. Then I found a simple email letter used by a successful internet marketer to get links. It sounded silly to me, and I wanted to change it, but I tried it anyhow. It worked repeatedly.
It is more important to do the right things than to understand why they are right. To also understand is great, but at first, it may be best to just copy many of the actions, attitudes and approaches of someone who is succeeding. Try to model success, even before you understand it.
As you learn more, you can drop those parts that aren't contributing, and add elements of your own. If you model a successful parent, for example, and life with your children gets better, does it matter if you know right away which changes were the most effective? Of course not.
Is it better to understand why what you are doing is working? Certainly, but you may not ever understand why some things work, and this is okay too. It is better to have success than to explain it, so find successful people and do what they do, not what they say. It is an important key to success.
July 8, 2011
How Do You Define Success?
"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
~Arnold H. Glasow
This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.
One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a teacher and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.
If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.
Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?
We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.
How do you define success?
Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?
For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a positive way? I hope that people judge me as a good person and that if I died tomorrow that there would be great mourning.
If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.
~Arnold H. Glasow
This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.
One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a teacher and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.
If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.
Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?
We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.
How do you define success?
Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?
For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a positive way? I hope that people judge me as a good person and that if I died tomorrow that there would be great mourning.
If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.
June 30, 2011
Fear of Success
It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as "fear of failure" but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as "fear of success"?
Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia - the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairky easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.
Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.
Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.
You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.
You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.
You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.
Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?
The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are ethe symptoms of the fear of success.
Procrastination - putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner 'demon' at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).
Procrastination is a 'success killer'! How can you expect to reach your destination if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.
Can't see the forest for the trees! - this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?
Don't get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialized goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.
Thinking that the time is not right - have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?
Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!
Being a perfectionist - this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!
Seeing only problems - how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and all the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.
"How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?" you say. "Easily", is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Every time you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, "how best can I overcome this challenge?" or "how quickly can I rectify this situation?". The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don't get caught up in it just be prepared.
Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.
Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia - the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairky easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.
Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.
Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.
You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.
You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.
You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.
Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?
The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are ethe symptoms of the fear of success.
Procrastination - putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner 'demon' at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).
Procrastination is a 'success killer'! How can you expect to reach your destination if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.
Can't see the forest for the trees! - this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?
Don't get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialized goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.
Thinking that the time is not right - have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?
Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!
Being a perfectionist - this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!
Seeing only problems - how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and all the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.
"How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?" you say. "Easily", is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Every time you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, "how best can I overcome this challenge?" or "how quickly can I rectify this situation?". The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don't get caught up in it just be prepared.
Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.
June 22, 2011
Behaviors Causing Stress
Do you believe in predictions? Well, if you were educated you would know that no man or woman could predict our future. However, we all have the ability to predict our future. Sounds contradictory does it. Behaviors help us to determine how our lives will turn out. Behaviors are the manner in which we conduct our self on a daily basis. Behaviors are organisms that react to stimulus producing action and response.
Behaviors are formed when we first arrive in the world and the more we practice a certain behavior the more attached that behavior comes. How does behavior cause us stress? It depends on the person and the teachings the person endured throughout his or her lifetime, but many of us lack in development in one way or another. Since, we have religion, law, parents, teachers, siblings, employees, employers, peers and so forth playing a part in our life we often become confused since all of us have our own beliefs.
The best teacher in the world is your self. If you take the time to study, learn, listen, hear, practice good, and so forth you will have the ability to see your future is successful. You have a stress management that is surpassing any other management scheme, since no one can lead you if you choose to reject. It is good to take other people’s beliefs into consideration, however, investigating and collecting evidence that proves a fact is more beneficial than accepting everything your are taught or told.
For example, I am a logician. I take extremely complex problems and break them down to simplicity. This means I analyze each problem carefully weeding through the pile and eliminating any areas that produce negative results. I also collect and gather evidence to support my claims when I am finished, and this is a healthy practiced behaviors, since I do not lie, steal, or do anything that will cause another person harm.
As you can see from my example, my problems were minimized, since my behaviors are positive and my stress level is not controlling my life. We can review behaviors and teachers to grasp hold of a better understanding how behaviors cause stress. For example, his or her parents teach a child that speaking out of term in inappropriate. The child is punished each time he or she disobeys the parent.
We see a series of problems developing, since this teaching will tell the child during his or her development that it is not ok to speak up when someone hurts, violates, or induces other types of fears on this person. The person will go through life with the fear of punishment if he or she asserts self. How can we help this poor wrongfully taught individual find a way to reduce stress and avoid stressors? First, our parents are important people in our life that we believe in most cases that will not lie to us and believe these people have our best interest at heart. Now we see another problem, since this person will trust the parents before listening to someone else that tells him or her that they are safe and it is ok to speak your mind.
We can teach this person to practice self-talk first since self-talk is an approach that helps us to rely on self, rather than others. Self-talk is a method that tells us that we have control and that we have a right to determine what we think, feel and believe. The method teaches us to take responsibility and learn communication that is effective, since our thinking habits are in the process of change. We can also help the person by offering him or her the tool known as visual display.
Visual display is helpful since it allows us to stroll back into the past and review our learning so that we can sort through the facts and eliminate the lies. It teaches us to display a pictorial event in our mind and then role-play to see if what we were taught is true.
Think of a time in your life that you spoke up and no one hurt you or punished you for your action. Think about how many times this happened and what the consequences of your behavior led to. Practice these techniques daily to learn a new method that benefits you and your life. If you do not see prediction by now in behaviors, then you probably never will.
Behaviors are formed when we first arrive in the world and the more we practice a certain behavior the more attached that behavior comes. How does behavior cause us stress? It depends on the person and the teachings the person endured throughout his or her lifetime, but many of us lack in development in one way or another. Since, we have religion, law, parents, teachers, siblings, employees, employers, peers and so forth playing a part in our life we often become confused since all of us have our own beliefs.
The best teacher in the world is your self. If you take the time to study, learn, listen, hear, practice good, and so forth you will have the ability to see your future is successful. You have a stress management that is surpassing any other management scheme, since no one can lead you if you choose to reject. It is good to take other people’s beliefs into consideration, however, investigating and collecting evidence that proves a fact is more beneficial than accepting everything your are taught or told.
For example, I am a logician. I take extremely complex problems and break them down to simplicity. This means I analyze each problem carefully weeding through the pile and eliminating any areas that produce negative results. I also collect and gather evidence to support my claims when I am finished, and this is a healthy practiced behaviors, since I do not lie, steal, or do anything that will cause another person harm.
As you can see from my example, my problems were minimized, since my behaviors are positive and my stress level is not controlling my life. We can review behaviors and teachers to grasp hold of a better understanding how behaviors cause stress. For example, his or her parents teach a child that speaking out of term in inappropriate. The child is punished each time he or she disobeys the parent.
We see a series of problems developing, since this teaching will tell the child during his or her development that it is not ok to speak up when someone hurts, violates, or induces other types of fears on this person. The person will go through life with the fear of punishment if he or she asserts self. How can we help this poor wrongfully taught individual find a way to reduce stress and avoid stressors? First, our parents are important people in our life that we believe in most cases that will not lie to us and believe these people have our best interest at heart. Now we see another problem, since this person will trust the parents before listening to someone else that tells him or her that they are safe and it is ok to speak your mind.
We can teach this person to practice self-talk first since self-talk is an approach that helps us to rely on self, rather than others. Self-talk is a method that tells us that we have control and that we have a right to determine what we think, feel and believe. The method teaches us to take responsibility and learn communication that is effective, since our thinking habits are in the process of change. We can also help the person by offering him or her the tool known as visual display.
Visual display is helpful since it allows us to stroll back into the past and review our learning so that we can sort through the facts and eliminate the lies. It teaches us to display a pictorial event in our mind and then role-play to see if what we were taught is true.
Think of a time in your life that you spoke up and no one hurt you or punished you for your action. Think about how many times this happened and what the consequences of your behavior led to. Practice these techniques daily to learn a new method that benefits you and your life. If you do not see prediction by now in behaviors, then you probably never will.
May 23, 2011
Are You Giving Yourself A Hard Time?
Are you constantly criticizing yourself for every little time you do wrong, for example saying things to ourselves like….“I should have said this”… “Look I can’t even do this simple thing”… “Everyone thinks I’m stupid” etc, etc.
I put my hand up too, I know I’m guilty of this as well as everyone, I often say things like “I wonder will anybody read this article” or “maybe they will think it stinks” blah, blah, blah.
But when you think of it if you had a best friend and you talked to them like this how long would they stay with you?.. Or would they even want to be around you? But we do this everyday and, when you really think about you’ll never be able to escape from "you" no matter how far you run, so today give yourself a break!!
We often go through our day to day life being constantly stressed out and on edge but when you think about it how much stress is actually coming from the outside and how much are you actually making yourself through negative thinking and letting your imagination run away with you?? So, today treat yourself and give yourself a pep talk
Try out this exercise on yourself when you have some quiet time to yourself. Put your left hand on your heart chakra (this point is in the middle of your chest) and slowly focus on your breathing as you do this, imagine your breath coming in through your hand and into your chest and with every inhalation feel a wave of relaxation entering with it.
And as you breathe out feel the stress going out of your body back out through your hand. When you find yourself starting to relax, start to say some positive affirmations to yourself out loud. Congratulate yourself for all that you’ve done that day and anything positive else you’d like to say.
If you find it a bit awkward to think of things to say to yourself …. mentally step back and think of you as a small child or a friend you really like and imagine what nice things they’d like to hear you say to them and then say these to yourself.
You’ll definitely start to feel a lot better about yourself and probably in the future you’ll catch yourself before you call yourself something nasty or start to pick on yourself!!
I put my hand up too, I know I’m guilty of this as well as everyone, I often say things like “I wonder will anybody read this article” or “maybe they will think it stinks” blah, blah, blah.
But when you think of it if you had a best friend and you talked to them like this how long would they stay with you?.. Or would they even want to be around you? But we do this everyday and, when you really think about you’ll never be able to escape from "you" no matter how far you run, so today give yourself a break!!
We often go through our day to day life being constantly stressed out and on edge but when you think about it how much stress is actually coming from the outside and how much are you actually making yourself through negative thinking and letting your imagination run away with you?? So, today treat yourself and give yourself a pep talk
Try out this exercise on yourself when you have some quiet time to yourself. Put your left hand on your heart chakra (this point is in the middle of your chest) and slowly focus on your breathing as you do this, imagine your breath coming in through your hand and into your chest and with every inhalation feel a wave of relaxation entering with it.
And as you breathe out feel the stress going out of your body back out through your hand. When you find yourself starting to relax, start to say some positive affirmations to yourself out loud. Congratulate yourself for all that you’ve done that day and anything positive else you’d like to say.
If you find it a bit awkward to think of things to say to yourself …. mentally step back and think of you as a small child or a friend you really like and imagine what nice things they’d like to hear you say to them and then say these to yourself.
You’ll definitely start to feel a lot better about yourself and probably in the future you’ll catch yourself before you call yourself something nasty or start to pick on yourself!!
April 19, 2011
Attitude of Gratitude
An attitude of gratitude? People often to think it will come from having some great luck or fortune. Of course it could feel great to win the lottery, and great friends, money, houses, travel - these are all good things, but not enough by themselves. The right frame of mind is necessary to fully enjoy life. You need the attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude 101
Your life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say "Thank you, God," or "Thank you universe." Whether or not you are religious, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one. Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas.
Of course, it is easy to think that gratitude comes from having what we want. We might imagine ourselves giving thanks if we had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. But we know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things. We also know that there are poor people full of gratitude for what little they have, so where does this feeling come from?
Creating gratitude
An attitude of gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes when you recognize the real value of the people and things in your life. Focus on the good and you cannot help but have a better attitude and experience of life. Gratitude, then, is something you can encourage, something you can learn.
The first step is to stop and smell the roses. How can you be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy? By the way, roses really do smell great.
The second step is to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. You don't need to ignore the ugliness in the world. Just consciously choose to see the good and beautiful things, until doing so becomes automatic.
One way to encourage this habit is to start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Continue this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness and focus can alter your perception of reality. In the same way, once you are aware of the good, and start looking for it, you'll start to see wonderful things all over.
Simple exercises like the one above train your mind with time. When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result. You will have an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude 101
Your life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say "Thank you, God," or "Thank you universe." Whether or not you are religious, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one. Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas.
Of course, it is easy to think that gratitude comes from having what we want. We might imagine ourselves giving thanks if we had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. But we know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things. We also know that there are poor people full of gratitude for what little they have, so where does this feeling come from?
Creating gratitude
An attitude of gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes when you recognize the real value of the people and things in your life. Focus on the good and you cannot help but have a better attitude and experience of life. Gratitude, then, is something you can encourage, something you can learn.
The first step is to stop and smell the roses. How can you be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy? By the way, roses really do smell great.
The second step is to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. You don't need to ignore the ugliness in the world. Just consciously choose to see the good and beautiful things, until doing so becomes automatic.
One way to encourage this habit is to start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Continue this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness and focus can alter your perception of reality. In the same way, once you are aware of the good, and start looking for it, you'll start to see wonderful things all over.
Simple exercises like the one above train your mind with time. When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result. You will have an attitude of gratitude.
April 8, 2011
An Old Message For A New Age
Do you consider yourself a seeker? I have a feeling if you’re reading this article, you do. If so, how exactly do you define it? What does it mean to you to be a “seeker?”
For me, the definition is constantly in process of clarifying itself, shifting in and out of focus as I ask, “What is it that I’m seeking?” There have been times – days, weeks, months, dare I say years – that it felt like wandering, lost and lonely, in search of a nameless, faceless something that seemed forever before me, but like a mirage, moving farther away the closer I drew. I could not grasp it, but I knew that when found it would make all the pieces of my life click together. Instant happiness and abundance, perfect peace and love. Most of all, everything would finally make sense. I’d know my purpose; I’d be brave enough to live it; I’d have no question that I couldn’t readily answer.
I can tell you, after so much time in the desert, I have found no such “something.” But that doesn’t mean the journey has not been fruitful.In its finest moments the search has been a pilgrimage. One with the hue of holiness. And in those rare instances I know clearly what it is I seek. I’d like to share a story.
Several years ago my husband’s company sponsored a celebrity golf tournament. We attended, and I surprised myself at how star-struck I was! Especially since the stars were sports figures with whom I was barely familiar. Of all of them, the kindest was David Robinson of the San Antonio Spurs. Walking next to him, my head came only to his elbow, but I found him to be a gentle giant. Late in the day I, along with many others, asked for his autograph. When he gave me back the piece of paper it had on it his name and the letters and numbers “Matthew 6:33.” I overheard someone explain that he always places a verse from the Bible on his autographs – a different one for each person.
Well, I am someone who does not take things in vain – I believe that everything that happens is a perfect set-up for our growth and learning. So, I went home and looked up the verse. Upon reading it I had one of those “pilgrim” moments. Matthew 6:33Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you as well.
The perfect message for a true seeker. But, of course, the question follows…what does it mean? I know that some will have a very clear-cut answer, but for me it has taken years of touching upon, moving away from, and coming back to the message…to find for myself the meaning. The day I received the verse I typed it up and put it in my meditation space, where I have looked upon it every day since. But lately it has begun to call for my attention more fervently, demanding from me a clearer understanding.
Ultimately, I have come to realize this one sentence as the most basic ingredient for living, and the word that has always stood out to me is “first.” Here, the order of things. In our society we are driven by the desire to obtain - material possessions, personal achievement, physical perfection…we strive first and we strive hard. But in this verse we are asked not to “do” first, but to seek. We are told where to begin.
I would like to go slowly, go back and explore this simple message, piece by piece…
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…
Is this the answer to the interminable question, “What do I seek?”? If so, then I ask, “What exactly is this ‘Kingdom of God’ that I am after?” My mind immediately travels to another verse – Luke 17:21, which says, “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you.”
And so, it is not something beyond my grasp that constantly beckons me. It is not a place, or thing, a job or person, a philosophy, idea or fragment of knowledge. It is not to be found in books or buildings. That which is sought is the Divine reflection within my own being, that same reflection alive within yours and in everything else. The dwelling place of the holy lives no farther than the beat of our own hearts.
For those of us who have been on this quest for a while, this idea is nothing new. I realize that. We read books about getting to know and love and be ourselves. We take classes and workshops in the hopes of prying open the door to that illusive hallowed ground we’re after. At the end of every yoga class we say, “Namaste,” the Hindu recognition of the Divine spark within us all. I, like you, know where I’m supposed to look; I can think and speak about it; but it is the experience that I am after – that which cannot be spoken of or written about in whole. That which absolutely cannot be taught or bought. That which is secret and private and can only be known in the silent places of one’s own soul.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…Seek first the Divine within…Seek first, your own truth. And then we read on… …and His Righteousness…
Now, here is a phrase for contemplation. For some it is instantly understood and revered; for others, it will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It is a loaded word; one that can scare with its asking.
If it is the knowing of our highest selves, a re-union with our own Divinity and, I suspect, with the greater Divinity of all life that we seek, and if we hold faith that the source of Divinity is indwelling, then how do we define this righteousness? I believe that the answer will lie in your own definition, image and knowing of God.
For me, the definition is constantly in process of clarifying itself, shifting in and out of focus as I ask, “What is it that I’m seeking?” There have been times – days, weeks, months, dare I say years – that it felt like wandering, lost and lonely, in search of a nameless, faceless something that seemed forever before me, but like a mirage, moving farther away the closer I drew. I could not grasp it, but I knew that when found it would make all the pieces of my life click together. Instant happiness and abundance, perfect peace and love. Most of all, everything would finally make sense. I’d know my purpose; I’d be brave enough to live it; I’d have no question that I couldn’t readily answer.
I can tell you, after so much time in the desert, I have found no such “something.” But that doesn’t mean the journey has not been fruitful.In its finest moments the search has been a pilgrimage. One with the hue of holiness. And in those rare instances I know clearly what it is I seek. I’d like to share a story.
Several years ago my husband’s company sponsored a celebrity golf tournament. We attended, and I surprised myself at how star-struck I was! Especially since the stars were sports figures with whom I was barely familiar. Of all of them, the kindest was David Robinson of the San Antonio Spurs. Walking next to him, my head came only to his elbow, but I found him to be a gentle giant. Late in the day I, along with many others, asked for his autograph. When he gave me back the piece of paper it had on it his name and the letters and numbers “Matthew 6:33.” I overheard someone explain that he always places a verse from the Bible on his autographs – a different one for each person.
Well, I am someone who does not take things in vain – I believe that everything that happens is a perfect set-up for our growth and learning. So, I went home and looked up the verse. Upon reading it I had one of those “pilgrim” moments. Matthew 6:33Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you as well.
The perfect message for a true seeker. But, of course, the question follows…what does it mean? I know that some will have a very clear-cut answer, but for me it has taken years of touching upon, moving away from, and coming back to the message…to find for myself the meaning. The day I received the verse I typed it up and put it in my meditation space, where I have looked upon it every day since. But lately it has begun to call for my attention more fervently, demanding from me a clearer understanding.
Ultimately, I have come to realize this one sentence as the most basic ingredient for living, and the word that has always stood out to me is “first.” Here, the order of things. In our society we are driven by the desire to obtain - material possessions, personal achievement, physical perfection…we strive first and we strive hard. But in this verse we are asked not to “do” first, but to seek. We are told where to begin.
I would like to go slowly, go back and explore this simple message, piece by piece…
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…
Is this the answer to the interminable question, “What do I seek?”? If so, then I ask, “What exactly is this ‘Kingdom of God’ that I am after?” My mind immediately travels to another verse – Luke 17:21, which says, “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you.”
And so, it is not something beyond my grasp that constantly beckons me. It is not a place, or thing, a job or person, a philosophy, idea or fragment of knowledge. It is not to be found in books or buildings. That which is sought is the Divine reflection within my own being, that same reflection alive within yours and in everything else. The dwelling place of the holy lives no farther than the beat of our own hearts.
For those of us who have been on this quest for a while, this idea is nothing new. I realize that. We read books about getting to know and love and be ourselves. We take classes and workshops in the hopes of prying open the door to that illusive hallowed ground we’re after. At the end of every yoga class we say, “Namaste,” the Hindu recognition of the Divine spark within us all. I, like you, know where I’m supposed to look; I can think and speak about it; but it is the experience that I am after – that which cannot be spoken of or written about in whole. That which absolutely cannot be taught or bought. That which is secret and private and can only be known in the silent places of one’s own soul.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…Seek first the Divine within…Seek first, your own truth. And then we read on… …and His Righteousness…
Now, here is a phrase for contemplation. For some it is instantly understood and revered; for others, it will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It is a loaded word; one that can scare with its asking.
If it is the knowing of our highest selves, a re-union with our own Divinity and, I suspect, with the greater Divinity of all life that we seek, and if we hold faith that the source of Divinity is indwelling, then how do we define this righteousness? I believe that the answer will lie in your own definition, image and knowing of God.
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