It Costs Nothing To Smile

I like to be around positive people, people who tend to be happy, who look on the bright side of life. Far too many people walk around in what seems like a depressed state. Come on people, it costs nothing to smile.

I must admit, I used to be one of the ones who walked around in a depressed state. I had many things on my mind, many things I was not happy with, I used to feel so sorry for myself. Even when I write about it now, I laugh about how pathetic I used to be.

Things were about to change however. At the time a new employee joined the company where I worked, his name was Stuart. Now this may seem cruel but Stuart did not have a lot going for him. I won't go into details but lets just say I did not feel jealous of his life. I became quite good friends with Stuart and we would go to lunch together. I would meet him in the canteen at 1pm and would be waiting in my gloomy state of mind for him to arrive. Arrive he certianly did, always with a beaming smile on his face. We would sit down and talk whilst eating our lunch and he never had a negative word to say. When he talked, he talked with passion, about sports and films. One day it dawned on me, if Stuart (who from what I know of him, seemingly has nothing) can always be positive, happy and smiling, why can't I?

This was the beginning of a new era in my life. An era of being positive, appreciating what I have got and more than anything else, plenty of smiles.

Overcoming Depression

Identifying Depression
Depression, like most mental illness runs the continuum of severity. It can be mild or major. It can last from weeks to months. It can involve anxiety symptoms as well. Depression is primarily characterized by sadness and/or loss of pleasure in nearly all activities. Additionally, there may be symptoms such as changes in appetite, sleep patterns, and psychomotor activity (changes in both mental and physical responsiveness and/or activity).

A depressed person may struggle with feelings of low self worth, recurrent thoughts of dying, as well as difficulty concentrating or making decisions. In children and adolescents the mood is often manifested as irritability rather than sadness. Some people may deny having feelings of sadness; instead they may report feeling numb or having no feelings at all.

Taking Action
First, it is important to look at how severely one’s functioning may be impaired. If the person’s level of functioning has been significantly impaired, i.e. they are having difficulty performing their daily routine, seek professional help immediately. A trip to the family doctor to rule out any medical conditions that might be causing the mood disorder is a good place to start.

Second, assess whether there have been any significant changes in circumstances, relationships etc. that may be contributing to the depression.

Third, if your loved one indicates they have a plan or intentions to harm themselves, take action immediately to get help. Call a mental health professional that you have been referred to by a reliable source or check your phone book for community mental health services. You can also call 1-800-784-2433 a suicide prevention hotline. If the threat is imminent, call 911.

Don’t Wait – Get Help
One of the biggest reasons people do not seek help is the shame they feel about having a mental illness. The reality is that our minds are vulnerable to illness just like our bodies. There is no shame in developing the flu or some other medical condition, so why is there with the mind? Those who avoid seeking help because of the shame they feel only languish longer than necessary.

How Counseling Can Help
A counselor can help a person gain perspective about their illness; resolve problems that may be contributing to the depression and assist the person in developing coping skills.

However, in addition to counseling, depending on the severity of the depression, medication may also be a treatment option. You can discuss this with your counselor, who could then refer you to a psychiatrist to prescribe and manage the necessary medication.

Relief is available for difficulties that plague our minds. It is truly the wise that seek out the help, wisdom and counsel of those whom God has equipped to facilitate the healing of the mind.

Dealing With Sorrow – Depression Management

While the term depression has been commonly used that people tend not to take it seriously anymore, it is a very serious condition that could impair one’s life. Depression is very difficult. It can debilitate one’s normal functions, making even the most mundane tasks such as getting up from bed or eating breakfast seemingly difficult. It is sad to think that a lot of depressed individuals are not treated because of the high costs of therapy. However, coping with depression is still possible without professional help if one knows depression management. Here are a few things that can help people deal with depression, it is important to note however, that professional therapy is still very invaluable with serious depression. These steps are just suggestions for alleviating the condition.

Staying active is one way to take one’s mind off depression. Primarily, activities help distract people from whatever it is that is causing their depression and it also helps channel unspent energies that build up when one is depressed. Keeping active also releases endorphins – natural mood boosters that somehow cheer people up.

It is also important to take a rest. Being depressed can be very exhausting, so it is essential to regain strength and energy if one is to deal with depression. Relaxation techniques can help one be more attuned to the self and be more at peace. When resting, stress should be kept away from the bedroom so that ample rest can be obtained.

Depressed people should also express their emotions. Depression usually results from suppressed emotions. People who are grieving can be prone to depression if they keep their emotion to themselves. A lot of people avoid crying because they think it might be a sign of weakness. However, it is important to cry because it releases one’s emotions. When expressing feelings, it is important to avoid catharsis – venting up one’s anger by doing something violent like boxing, smashing things, and the like. Catharsis does not release one’s emotion, especially anger. Rather, it makes a person practice violence as an expression of emotion, and thus can be very dangerous.

Hang around with friends and loved ones. Depressed individuals need support very much. Other people can distract one from stress. People can also remind a depressed individual that there can be more to life, and it is worth living even if it is simply because of the company of wonderful people.

Lastly, it is important to believe in oneself. A lot of people get depressed because they put themselves down. It is important to satisfy oneself and gain a sense of self-worth. It is good to do something that would make one happy. Prioritizing one’s self can help one to believe that one’s own life is important and can be enjoyed. Being kind to oneself is one of the most important steps to get away from a depressive state.

Depression management is possible and entails taking charge of one’s self. When dealing with depression however, it is important not to rush. Sadness does not disappear overnight; it takes time to get back on one’s feet. Little by little, one can get out of depression and have a normal life once more.

Failure Leads to Success

At first glance, would you be able to tell the real gold from a fake one?

Just like majority of people, you probably won’t be able to tell since both have the same look, unless you have prior knowledge that one is real.

The same thing can be said of failure. In one glance, all failures might look the same because these lead to negative consequences and emotions. It is possible that hidden among these failures is one disguised as a nugget of success.

You have read in many e-zines, articles, and books that failure is a part of success. Failure is often camouflaged as success and acts as a guide towards success. This article emphasizes that failure is inevitable in your trek to accomplishment. In fact, it is the critical ingredient to success.

How do you deal with this critical ingredient?

Actually, all failures have the potential to become success stories. It is just a matter of using failure to your advantage. In this case, practice makes perfect. As you encounter more failures, you will learn what works and what does not.

For each failure, you are one step closer to success. This is the reason why you must not give up easily should failure occur. Intense belief in your capabilities motivates you to continue in pursuing what you are after.

You must not be afraid of failure; think of failure as a tool for success. Use failure as a tool in digging your mine of success. “So what if I fail! I may have failed now but that doesn’t mean I am completely abandoning my success goal. More failures? Bring them on! More failures mean more lessons that can be learned.” This is the attitude you must keep in your mind and heart to keep you going for the goal.

What if your resources are all used up? What if you are going bankrupt and accumulating debts? What if your assets are turning into liabilities? This is where your determination and intense belief in yourself come to the picture. If you sincerely believe you are going to make it to the top even if you have to pass through scourges of failure, go for it!

Make the most out of failures and learn from them. Try to keep track of your failures by listing them on a piece of paper. Use this list to find out the different causes of failures, and solutions you have used to overcome them.

Ask yourself: What did I do wrong? How can I do better? Asking difficult questions forces you to maximize the golden learning opportunity present in every failure.

Imagine yourself caught in the middle of a storm. What do you usually do?

When you are in the middle of a storm, you stop whatever you are doing and try to protect what you still have. You wait out the storm in a safe place and wait for the sun to shine. Amidst any turbulence, you must have the confidence that you will survive.

Failure is like a storm. It passes swiftly. It provides the opportunity for you to stop to think why, how, and where you went wrong. The solution you are looking for is the sunshine after the storm. You consolidate your resources, backtrack a little, do some adjustments, and then continue pursuing your objective.

Remember, all failures have the potential to become success stories. It is just a matter of using failure to your advantage. Failures make you wiser and may help you detect that hidden golden nugget of success.

Behaviors Causing Stress

Do you believe in predictions? Well, if you were educated you would know that no man or woman could predict our future. However, we all have the ability to predict our future. Sounds contradictory does it. Behaviors help us to determine how our lives will turn out. Behaviors are the manner in which we conduct our self on a daily basis. Behaviors are organisms that react to stimulus producing action and response.

Behaviors are formed when we first arrive in the world and the more we practice a certain behavior the more attached that behavior comes. How does behavior cause us stress? It depends on the person and the teachings the person endured throughout his or her lifetime, but many of us lack in development in one way or another. Since, we have religion, law, parents, teachers, siblings, employees, employers, peers and so forth playing a part in our life we often become confused since all of us have our own beliefs.

The best teacher in the world is your self. If you take the time to study, learn, listen, hear, practice good, and so forth you will have the ability to see your future is successful. You have a stress management that is surpassing any other management scheme, since no one can lead you if you choose to reject. It is good to take other people’s beliefs into consideration, however, investigating and collecting evidence that proves a fact is more beneficial than accepting everything your are taught or told.

For example, I am a logician. I take extremely complex problems and break them down to simplicity. This means I analyze each problem carefully weeding through the pile and eliminating any areas that produce negative results. I also collect and gather evidence to support my claims when I am finished, and this is a healthy practiced behaviors, since I do not lie, steal, or do anything that will cause another person harm.

As you can see from my example, my problems were minimized, since my behaviors are positive and my stress level is not controlling my life. We can review behaviors and teachers to grasp hold of a better understanding how behaviors cause stress. For example, his or her parents teach a child that speaking out of term in inappropriate. The child is punished each time he or she disobeys the parent.

We see a series of problems developing, since this teaching will tell the child during his or her development that it is not ok to speak up when someone hurts, violates, or induces other types of fears on this person. The person will go through life with the fear of punishment if he or she asserts self. How can we help this poor wrongfully taught individual find a way to reduce stress and avoid stressors? First, our parents are important people in our life that we believe in most cases that will not lie to us and believe these people have our best interest at heart. Now we see another problem, since this person will trust the parents before listening to someone else that tells him or her that they are safe and it is ok to speak your mind.

We can teach this person to practice self-talk first since self-talk is an approach that helps us to rely on self, rather than others. Self-talk is a method that tells us that we have control and that we have a right to determine what we think, feel and believe. The method teaches us to take responsibility and learn communication that is effective, since our thinking habits are in the process of change. We can also help the person by offering him or her the tool known as visual display.

Visual display is helpful since it allows us to stroll back into the past and review our learning so that we can sort through the facts and eliminate the lies. It teaches us to display a pictorial event in our mind and then role-play to see if what we were taught is true.

Think of a time in your life that you spoke up and no one hurt you or punished you for your action. Think about how many times this happened and what the consequences of your behavior led to. Practice these techniques daily to learn a new method that benefits you and your life. If you do not see prediction by now in behaviors, then you probably never will.

Anger Management Strategies And Advice

This article looks at strategies and gives advice to help people control their anger. I am sure that we all become angry from time to time and want to lash out at the people who are annoying us or who have let us down. This is course is not the answer and the article gives tips on how we should be responding to these situations.

I used to easily become angry and could not believe the way certain people were treating me. I wanted to teach them a lesson which would help them to mend their ways. The only way I could think of responding was by shouting at them, threatening them or by using violence against them.

I will give you an example of a situation where a person basically cheated me out of a large sum of money. I was looking at turning my front garden into a driveway and I had a number of people around to the house, all of which gave me a quote for the work.

I decided to accept a quote from John who seemed a very nice and trustworthy man. Him and his team spent a couple of days laying the drive during which I was keeping them well supplied with foods and drinks, we all got on very well.

He advised me not to park my car on the new drive for a few days to let it settle and become hardened. I waited a week and then drove my car onto the new driveway. To my horror the driveway dipped and I later found out from a friend that they had not put any hardcore (I think that is what it is called) down.

I tried to contact John but he did not answer his phone, I went round to see him and he would not answer his door. I became more and more angry and started to plan my revenge.

Walking away

I had many options through the courts which I could and did pursue. It was a lengthy process and John basically did not have any money to repay me despite eventually admitting responsibility.

I have now decided to let nature take its course and to walk away. This is not just from the situation above but from any similar event.

When me wife annoys me, I will just walk away to compose myself. I was once told to count to ten which is certainly a good idea. Being angry, like the way I always used to be, is not good for my health and causes me to become stressed, to become depressed and to lose sleep.

I now see people as apples in a bucket. Out of ten apples, three will be rotten. Instead of feeling angry at the rotten apples, I feel sorry for them.

I firmly believe in God and have now decided that I do not need to seek any form of revenge as he will be judge and jury on judgement day. At this stage these people will have nowhere to hide.

Living life this way is far easier for me and I only wish I had had this approach and form of anger management technique, years ago.