Psygwen's Info Gallery...

How To Accelerate Your Personal Success?!

2012-02-03T21:36:00.001-08:00

Get ready for a golden idea that will accelerate your personal success beyond your imagination.

Are you like most of people who may sit with themselves and define their strengths and weaknesses?

And after that you start developing a plan to improve your weaknesses to become a better person.

And while applying your plan, you face a lot of difficulties and you might surrender with the excuse that it is a habit that can't be changed.

If you are like those people, then accept my apology: you are limiting your chances of success and putting yourself in a great struggle.

By following that method you are wasting time and effort and you are far beyond the fast track to ultimate personal success.

Now forget about that method and let me give you the golden idea to accelerate your personal success:

"Focus 80% of your time and energy building and improving your strengths and focus the remaining 20% on improving you weaknesses".

Don't say it is strange because your strengths will become weaknesses if you left them without continuous improvement.

Your strength will decrease fast while your weakness may improve slowly and you will end up being a "middle" person with no unique talent or value.

To be a person of value you have to focus on your uniqueness and special talent. Develop it, improve it, and the most important thing is: use it, use it and use it.

Forget about your weaknesses; no body is perfect. And focus on your strengths. Focus on the unique value you have more than anyone else.

If you do that you will accelerate your personal success and become a person of great value.

Build on your talents and strengths and don't give much attention to your weaknesses. No body is perfect.

Again, here is the golden idea for accelerating personal success:

"Focus 80% of your time and energy building and improving your strengths and focus the remaining 20% on improving you weaknesses".

My friend, you can make a difference.

I believe in you.

How Do You Define Success?

2012-02-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
~Arnold H. Glasow

This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.

One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a teacher and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.

If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.

Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?

We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.

How do you define success?

Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?

For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a postive way? I hope that people judge me as a good person and that if I died tomorrow that there would be great mourning.

If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.

Fullfilling Success

2012-02-03T21:32:00.000-08:00

“True success is the attainment of purpose without compromising your core values.” John Hayhurst Sr.

Success is defined by many in so many ways. Many people define it by what the have yet to attain or by what others have attained. In the pursuit of success we often prostitute ourselves to many things we would eventually live to regret. We run miles down one street only to find we are completely lost.

The cliché is obvious – the pursuit of success defined by wealth, will often leave people unhappy – even if they achieve that wealth, they have had to do things or sacrifice relationships to do it.

So in this crazy world, how do we reach success?

A personal definition of success is critical to finding it, much like identifying the place you wish to travel to is necessary before the journey begins. If we don’t know where we are going, we wont know when we get there, let alone how to get there and if we should even be trying to get there or not.

Every goal has a cost. You may want to win an Olympic medal, well there is a cost, and its more than just training pains. You will not lead a normal social life, you can’t do what others do. If you want to become a CEO of a major company, there is a cost – you may have the title and big house, but you may have trouble at home given all your hours in the office. Essential to everyone who endeavours to do something is counting the cost. Whether you build a house or plan a picnic – it is critical to know what it will take.

Once you have defined your goal and have accepted the benefits and costs of such a goal, you are now ready to start. But before you rush off – are you sure you have the right goal. I know you have a goal, but is it right? Does it cost you too much? Is success at any cost your mantra? What if that cost was the lives of your kids, your conscience, your integrity? What are your core values that you cannot compromise? We all have them, and we need to know what they are.

If you goal is to make say $1000 in 24hrs. Success would be having $1000 cash in your pocket this time tomorrow. Well you could simply rob a convenience store or two at gunpoint – reach your goal, but would you consider yourself successful? Depends if those armed robberies compromise some core values – I hope they would!

Your values and your potential will determine what is possible for you. Success would be maximizing that potential in such a manner that inspires generations to come. As you consider Internet Marketing – its important you think about what is important to you and how you can accomplish your goals without compromise.

Thanks for reading,
Your Rich Cousin
(Author and Business Success Story) Get the free e-book that got me started and helped me start making money at http://www.richcousin.com It's so straight forward and easy to understand AND you will have the support you need to start making a great income online.

Activating Your Success Blueprint

2012-02-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

I am going to tell you the steps to “Activate Your Personal Success.” So, as you think of this outcome-whatever goal that you want to accomplish. Imagine if by accomplishing this goal or this outcome;

• Would it take anything away from who you are?
• Is there any excuse you can make right now that will stop your from accomplishing that goal?

One key in accomplishing any goal and activating your blueprint is to keep your goal in mind, keep it in your minds eye. Listen to your hypnosis processes daily and find that upon awakening act as if you are guaranteed the result that you’re seeking.

And when you act out of character, in other words, when you demonstrating behaviors or attitude that are counter to accomplishing your goals. You will change that the next time you listen to your hypnosis process, you will make the necessary changes. So that moving forward you will think act and respond with the goal in mind.

Each time that you practice using your hypnosis process you are going to find that your inner ability to see, hear, and experience in your mind’s eye improving.

And just as you learned when you read through Awaken the Genius you found that perhaps you’re more visual learner, maybe you’re more auditory, or you’re more kinesthetic. What we are going to ask you do, is to become more of a full sensory learner. Someone who can use all there senses, magnetize in the world around you want you want as your goal. And then go after it an achieve it.

The next step is to think about what needs to take place, or what needs to change in your life so that you can have this goal you set for yourself today? Now matter what it is.

In other words, what are you going to have to give up that your holding onto dearly now?

Because if you weren’t holding onto something dearly that stopping you from accomplishing this goal, you wouldn’t even be listening to my voice right how, you’d be out there accomplishing your goal.

For instance, let’s use an example of bowling; If somebody is told a different way to release the ball or perhaps a different mark out in the bowling lane, which is what a professional bowling might do. They would roll that ball over that arrow and it would hook into the pocket and give them a potential for a strike, but if they are so locked into their old way of rolling the ball, or throwing the ball down the alley that are not able to change they can’t get out of their own way, in other words, they can’t accomplish their goal.

What changes need to take place for you accomplish this goal, so you can “Activate Your Personal Success?”

Next, I need you to find out what resources you have internally to accomplish your goal. During your hypnosis process take a mental inventory. This will help you discover what Skills, what Abilities, what Resources do you have?

I’m going to ask you to release any preconceived ideas about how you might accomplish your goal and open your mind to the possibility that there is an even greater possibility out there for you.

Achieve Your Goals Through The Magic Of Consistency

2012-02-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

Consistency seems to be a boring idea at first sight. It lacks glamour and excitement. But, when you look more closely, consistency is anything but boring. It contains the secret of achievement and success. It is the key to an almost magical power than can transform lives.

Consistency means repeating the same behaviors regularly and without exceptions. Consistent behavior is the opposite of erratic behavior. Skipping workouts is an example of erratic behavior. Performing all or most of your workouts is an example of consistency.

Consistency creates powerful habits; lack of consistency and exceptions mean that you have to start building the habits all over again.

Consistency allows the seeds to grow and the fruit to arrive. Regular, patient, consistent action is necessary to achieve good results. Even winning the lottery requires buying a ticket and entering the numbers.

A woman who won the US $162 million lottery is quoted as saying, that she played the same numbers consistently for two years. She didn't play it once or twice and give up as so may people do.

She steadfastly believed that her dream of winning the lottery would be realized. Consistency, then, may occasionally work even in the notoriously risky world of gambling.

Recently, I read an outstanding article by T.J. Walker, the public speaking and communication expert. He commented on how often communication breaks down on the internet because of a lack of consistency.

Ezines, blogs and podcasts often only last for one or two issues and then they disappear. Either their creators ran out of material or foolishly expected success after one or two efforts and gave up when the results of their efforts were disappointing.

Most marketing gurus insist that sales only come after about seven email messages have been sent to a list of potential customers.

Many would be entrepreneurs lack the patience and consistency to send out even seven messages to their lists. They are unlikely to succeed in winning the trust of their customers.

Nearly any goal worth achieving demands regular and consistent efforts. If you want to achieve a black belt in a martial art, you need to show up to one training session after another whether you feel like it or not.

I know, from many years of experience, that students who show up regularly for training almost always achieve their goal of becoming a black belt.

However, I have had some very talented students who lacked patience and only showed up sporadically. When their progress up the ladder of success seemed too slow to them, they gave up and disappeared.

When I examine my martial arts students at grading sessions, I often congratulate them for just being there. I tell them that they are already half way through the grading because they have shown up and in the famous words of Woody Allen: "80% of success in life is just showing up."

By showing up, my students have shown that they have guts and are willing to accept the fact that they might look foolish if they forget their syllabus or perform it badly. Not every one can face this possibility and I even had one student give up the martial art because the grading seemed too worrying.

One person who has never failed to show up in the UK and about a third of the rest of the world is Queen Elizabeth II. For over half a century she has shown up at one formal and informal occasion after another in good and bad times. She has traveled thousands of miles around the world to achieve her goal of being a servant of her country and the commonwealth.

Today was her 80th birthday and most of the country and even the media showed their appreciation for her consistent adherence to duty. One paper actually called her "Elizabeth the Great".

Greatness only comes when efforts are consistent. Champion teams win championships not because they win every match but because they consistently play well and with determination and, as a result, win most of their matches.

An individual loses weight because they stick consistently to their diet and to their exercise regime. A body builder adds muscle weight because he consistently attends the gym whether he feels like it or not. The champions do not give up when they feel tired or bored or when results seem painfully slow.

Daily efforts create habits and habits make it easier to make those daily efforts but it still takes hard work and the determination to follow through every single day no matter what.

To achieve your goals repeat your efforts every single day. Turn up in the gym or wherever you need to. Don't be like my step brother who was once told: "You won't turn up for your own funeral!"

Occasionally you make have to make an exception and miss out on the desired behavior. One way to avoid exceptions is to perform the behavior you have planned as early as possible in the day before the rest of the family and the cat start demanding your attention!

Another way to avoid exceptions is to make a list of your most important daily behaviors in order of importance. Stick it on your wall and read it as soon as you get up. This way, your consistency will not falter because of a poor memory.

Repeat the desired or planned behavior daily and with as few exceptions as possible and you will make gradual but certain progress and eventually achieve your loftiest goals and dreams.

Even if you don't achieve all your goals and dreams, you will have at least become a great character and a person of value because you did what you planned to do on a daily basis. That, at least, is a goal worth achieving.

Lead By Example

2012-01-16T01:02:00.001-08:00

Have you ever read any good books on leadership? Maybe something by John Maxwell? What stands out in my mind when it comes to the information contained in these books is the technique for effective leadership. One of the biggest is leading by example.

Throughout history some of the greatest leaders were people of vision, people who saw something that others could not see and shared their vision with the masses to improve the quality of life. Never once did a leader become a great leader by being pessimistic and negative. Never has anything been accomplished of value by looking at a problem and complaining without offering a solution to the problem. In fact, a leader who only offers a negative picture remains a leader for a short time, a time when they are noticed but become irrelevant.

I have spoken of the negative influence of the media in our lives and how we must strive to overcome it. I believe that immersing ourselves in the positive we can accomplish that. A leader of people must understand that to be effective, he has to give the people who follow him hope of better things. In doing so, he rises to higher levels and accomplishes great things. When he loses sight of the lofty challenge of being a positive visionary in any organization, a leader is destined to fail, for no one will follow a leader who is going over a cliff.

As you strive to develop your business or career, you should keep in mind that you can be whomever you wish to be. You can look at challenges and problems and offer real solutions and visions for the future that people can grasp onto, or you can see the problem and rub everyone's nose in it as you complain about it until no one is listening anymore.

When you have a customer and they lodge a complaint, you perk up and listen to them. If you work for a company that you complain about all the time, no one listens when you complain. Complainers develop a cloak of invisibility that is only penetrated when they are seen long enough to be removed from the company. At that point, the complainer has become nothing more than an eyesore.

As we look at the so-called leaders of the day, we should keep in mind that we are not the only ones who see them. The world is watching our country and our business. As our leaders complain without offering solutions, the world sees an ugly picture of discontent and failure with no solutions at hand. Only when people realize that the role of the leader is to be the visionary, the one with the answer, will things in our world change for the better. Until then, we get what we ask for and what we vote for.

Expect great things, offer great solutions, and when you are ready for the challenge, throw your hat in the ring and step up to lead.

Leadership & Teamwork

2012-01-16T01:01:00.000-08:00

Strong, positive teamwork is defined by a leader who has a vision and the ability to inspire his or her team to work toward the realization of that vision.

The leader is not threatened in the least by the expertise and diversity of his or her team. Rather, a good team leader engages his or her teammates in a discussion about what quality looks like, what is needed to perform and complete the job, and empowers the team members to always strive for quality improvement.

Let’s break all that down into its component parts. The first is a clearly defined leader. I believe every team must have a leader. There must be someone who is in charge and makes the ultimate decisions.

Team members may take turns being the leader as long as everyone is clear who the leader is on any given day. Another variation of that theme is to have certain people be the leader for projects that are in their area of expertise. However, in every event, there can be no question among teammates who is the leader for that day or project.

The leader needs to have a vision. This is similar to Covey’s second habit, “Begin with the end in mind.” A true leader creates the end product twice---once mentality and then in its actual form. It is impossible to lead toward a fuzzy vision. People are simply not inspired to follow uncertainty.

Having the vision is not enough to inspire teammates to strive toward the same goal. A good team leader knows how to help each teammate see how the end product or service will be useful and what, exactly, their individual contribution is toward that end.

How does the janitor contribute to fans’ enjoyment at a professional baseball game? By providing a clean, neat bathroom experience---that’s how. If the janitor sees himself as a critical cog in the big picture goal and he receives positive recognition for it, then he is more likely to perform his job with enthusiasm.

Another component of being able to inspire one’s teammates is having a clearly defined mission that everyone, preferably, has had a part in developing, but if not, then at least team members can agree to the previously established team mission.

This becomes important in times of conflict between team members. When there is a dispute to be solved, it is helpful to have an already established way to measure the solution. Solutions are always held up against the mission and whether or not it will move the team closer or further from the ultimate goal.

The other advantage of having a mission that has been agreed upon by all team members is that it can enhance cooperation. One of the most difficult things to manage on a team is an individual ego. There can be petty jealousies and a competitive spirit that can kill the cooperation of the best team. The mission statement is a way to minimize this potential for disaster.

The mission remains the focus that everything else is compared to. An individual’s action is either helpful or hurtful to the mission and dealt with accordingly. The group’s goal must always be placed above any individual’s desires or ego. Jealousy and backstabbing have no useful place on a team.

A good leader is in no way threatened by the expertise and diversity of his or her team. The best leaders are always seeking information from the front line people who are doing the actual work. Without information from team members, the leader’s hands are tied behind his or her back.

It is also critical to use team members in their areas of expertise. Leaders can’t know everything about everything. There will be team members who have skills and abilities that surpass those of the leader in certain areas. A good leader will ask for help when it is prudent.

This is also a time to value diversity. Having a team made up of people who all do the same jobs in pretty much the same way really has no value. One person could more easily do the job than assembling a homogenous team.

The value of a team comes from its heterogeneity. Getting feedback and suggestions from people who do things differently is what will spark the creativity and the genius of the team. This is what masterminding is all about. Tap into the wealth that is already there.

Finally, a good leader holds the bar high. He or she does not ask his team to be average or mediocre. Average and mediocre can be easily replaced. The leader asks his or her team to collectively do their very best and when they are done, the leader asks them to always strive for continuous improvement. The work is never done. The team should always be evaluating what has been implemented and be comfortable making suggestions for ways to do it even better.

Previously, I mentioned that a good leader empowers his or her teammates. Creating a need-satisfying environment does this. Team members must get along and know that the leader and the company have their best interests at heart. They must feel important, listened to and respected. They must have the freedom to make choices within the context of their assignments and they must have some fun in their work.

It is also critical for team members to feel safe. This means that they are not fearful in any way. The team leader is critical in fostering this environment for the empowerment of the entire team.

Leadership

2012-01-16T00:59:00.000-08:00

Although some people treat the terms management and leadership as synonyms, the two should be distinguished. As a matter of fact, there can be leaders of completely unorganized groups. On the other hand, there can be managers, as conceived here, only where organized structures create roles.

Separating leadership from management has important analytical advantages. It permits leadership to be singled out for study without the encumbrance of qualifications relating to the more general issues of management.

To clarify, leadership is certainly an important aspect of managing. The ability to lead effectively is one of the keys to being an effective manager; also, undertaking the other essentials of managing -- doing the entire managerial job -- has an important bearing on ensuring that a manager will be an effective leader. Managers must exercise all the functions of their role in order to combine human and material resources to achieve objectives. The key to doing this is the existence of a clear role and a degree of discretion or authority to support the manager’s actions.

The essence of leadership is followership. In other words, it is the willingness of other people to follow that makes a person a leader. Moreover, people tend to follow those whom they see as providing a means of achieving their own desires, wants and needs. Leadership and motivation are closely interconnected. By understanding motivation, one can appreciate better what people want and why they act as they do. Also, leaders may not only respond to subordinates' motivations but also arouse or dampen them by means of the organizational climate they develop. Both these factors are as important to leadership as they are to management.

Leadership can be defined as influence, that is, the art of influencing people so that they will strive willingly and enthusiastically toward the achievement of group goals. Ideally, people should be encouraged to develop not only a willingness to work but also a willingness to work with zeal and confidence.

Empowered Leadership

2012-01-16T00:57:00.000-08:00

It seems that every decade or so there is some new fad the runs through the business world in terms of supervision and in the world of diversity management, downsizing, outsourcing, generational work conflicts and the information age, things are even more complicated than ever before.

No longer does a one size fits all leadership model really work. We can’t treat everyone the same and expect that everything will just “work out” somehow. Managers and leaders must have a framework with which to manage their workers in a way that honors everyone’s unique and specific position on the job.

Empowered leadership is the way to do just that. Empowered leadership shares the power between management and the workers, thus empowering both groups.

Conventional wisdom tells us that when those in power relinquish some of that power by sharing it or giving it to their employees, then they would lose something when in actually, they gain.

Think about it. When people rule with an iron hand, they generally instill fear in those who work for them. Do you do your best work when you are afraid? I don’t know about you but I will attempt to comply because I want to avoid negative consequences but it certainly won’t be my best work. The absolute best a manager can hope for with coercion is compliance. If compliance is enough, then coercion might work.

However, I will gripe and complain and quietly wait for opportunities to get even. I won’t have a kind thing to say about my employer and at every available chance will seek corroboration for how I feel from my co-workers, thus spreading an “us” versus “them” mentality.

When leaders and managers seek to empower their workers, they will gain their loyalty. Workers want to give their supervisor their best when they are listened to and respected. Without fear, their minds can be creative and innovative.

When managers are willing to accommodate special requests and it doesn’t interfere with product or service delivery, then their employees will be sure to give back their best in return. Giving away power only increases a manager’s power.

Now, I am not talking about being a total pushover and only advocating for what employees want. As a manager, you have a two-fold job—you are to represent your employees’ desires, opinions and suggestions to management while at the same time communicating management’s issues, concerns and expectations to your employees. This is not an easy line to walk.

You will never get the best from your employees if they don’t respect you. You cannot be a doormat for your employees to walk over. If they believe you have no bottom line or nonnegotiables, then they will never be satisfied and always asking for more. You will feel used and abused and the truth is, you asked for it.

As a manager, you must hold the bar high. Expect great things from each and every one of your workers. If you only expect mediocrity, mediocrity is exactly what you will get. Set the standards and lead by example. If your workers see you giving it your all, it will be difficult for them to perform below standard.

You must have production goals you are attempting to meet for either products or services. Always enlist the help of your employees to set the goals, with the underlying premise being continual improvement.

And as a manager, you have the responsibility to create a need satisfying workplace for yourself and your workers. You cannot emphasize one to the exclusion of the other without there being undesirable consequences.

When you focus on production only and forget the human capital, you will end up with resentful, resistant, angry workers. On the other hand, when you only focus on the people end and allow production goals to be compromised; you will have workers who do everything they can to take advantage and to get out of doing the work. After all, if you the manager don’t value production, why should they?

Somewhere in the middle, when you are walking that very fine line between relationships and production goals, you are practicing empowered leadership and that’s where you will get the most from your employees.

Happy New Year - Dare To Live Your Life To The Fullest

2012-01-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

How have you lived your life until now? Have you lived very safely and in a structured way? Do you do what you are “supposed” to do, go to your job, take care of your friends and families, support those around us and all the while put your desires on the back burner to be taken up for when the time is “right”. Your busy routine continues day in and day out. You trade self-fulfillment for “security” and ignore that persistent voice inside of you that refuses to go away, that voice that reminds you that you are not living your fullest life. You ignore those “aha” moments when you catch a glimpse of all the possibilities available to you, the moments that cause you to remember that life could be and should be a lot more exciting, adventurous and purposeful than it is.

When New Year comes around, you swear to yourselves and others that you going to go out on a limb that year and live the life you know was meant for you, but then you find yourselves caught up in the motions again. “There must be more to life.” I hear people say. Well there is and what better time than now to make some changes. What better way to start off this New Year than by paying attention to your inner voice? That voice tends to stick around reminding you that you were meant for something much larger than that which you may have settled for.

In 2006 would you dare to take the plunge and unlock all your aspirations by making the decision to live unconventionally? Have you ever wanted to cut your hair short, go red, learn Spanish, enroll for a degree, join a painting class, take a trip to an exotic place, support a child in Africa, or learn how to tango?

If a cold climate does not suit you why not make plans to move to a warmer one, fix relationships that need fixing and get professional help if need be, find your soul mate – yes it can be done and for once and for all do not allow yourself to work a minute longer than you have to in a job that is destroying your confidence day by day. Update your resume, put yourself on the market and get some valuable recruitment advice.

Quite simply, for this year stop being the victim of your own life. Make the choice to live more freely, live with spirit, and stop being the good little student and experiment with your life. Go out on a limb and see what happens. Open your heart more, feel more and live with passion. Forget about always trying to be in control. Instead do what feels right and what makes you happy.
Whose standards customs are you going to conform to in 2006?
Why not be your own pioneer and allow yourself to live an amazing life.

Quote of the week

“Nobody can go back and make a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Mark Robinson

A new years poem (By Jerry, 1993)

It's New Years again, and I would expect
It's time for agendas, and time to reflect.
A time to take inventory, of the year just past,
And a time to confront, our errors at last.
A time to recall, those no longer here,
A time to remember, a time to revere.
A time to resolve, for the year now new,
To change or adjust, those things we will do.
A time to change habits, and really we should,
convert them all please, from bad ones to good,
A time to thank God, who made night and morning,
To see a new day, and enjoy a new dawning,
It's time for us all, to seize the gold fleece,
Release sparkles of stardust, of love and new peace.
A time to embrace, all those we hold dear,
To hold them, and wish them, "A Happy New Year!

Happiness Is About Connection And Gratitude

2012-01-05T17:37:00.001-08:00

People complain. They’re complaining all the time about everything. As a child, I was innocent enough to believe what people were saying. I really thought there were plenty of valid reasons to complain: the weather (most often), lack of money (runner-up), the neighbors, husband or wife, the children (me, in this case), civilization (or the lack of it), bad health, etc. I assumed the world just turned out to be like this and there was nothing much we could do. It was called “fate” or something.

The thing to do was to pray. Not to ask for a better life. No! I learned to pray to ask God to forgive me for my sins. I was a nice little girl, doing very well at school, polite with the neighbors, helpful at home, so it was rather difficult to keep finding sins for our weekly confession. But because human beings are profoundly sinful by birth, they told me, I had to go confess anyway. The nuns at school came up with a solution to help us out: they “prepared” our sins for us. Every Wednesday, on confession day, they gave us a pink paper with our “confessions of the day.” I remember feeling sorry for the poor priest, hidden in his little black cabin, spending the entire day listening to the confessions of 600 little girls, endlessly repeating the same sins over and over…

Growing up, I figured something was missing. Pretending to be sinful by repeating sins someone else had cooked up for me, that could not be what life is about. I refused to further confess sins that I had not committed. I refused to believe that I was the cause of my misery, and that I had to pray every day without things getting better!

When I was 26, I went to Africa. There I met my husband (he’s from Belgium) and together we had a wonderful time, with plenty of sunshine and plenty of money; circumstances people usually don’t complain about, right? According to my childhood logic, people only complain for a reason: lousy weather (too cold, too much rain), lack of money, etc. But what I discovered over there seriously opened my eyes! My “white” friends just went on complaining: about the weather (too hot), about the service (5 servants and still they were complaining) or about how things were too expensive – while they were earning 5 times as much as before!

I discovered there and then that the complaining was not based on any objective reasons. I also noticed that the black people, who were living in their villages with close to nothing, were not complaining. I got interested in this phenomenon: they had nothing except a big smile on their face, while we had everything and were still complaining! How could this be?

It became crystal clear to me that the complaints had nothing to do with the outer circumstances. It was an attitude, a habit. Next, I wanted to find out where this habit came from. So I examined the way of life of the local people and compared it with our way of life. When I finally came up with the explanation, it changed my life forever!

There are two important differences between them and us. The first difference is that they have a social network to help everyone in the village. They stick together. They don’t push out people who don’t fit the norm. In our society, everybody who is a bit different is sent to an “institution.” An institution is a place to collect those individuals who cannot follow the fast pace of society and thus fall out of the boat. Most institutions have great walls to prevent us from “seeing” that these people really exist. They look more like a prison than a shelter.
Who are these people that don’t fit in our society, put away behind walls so we don’t have to confront them? They are the disabled, the diseased, the dangerous ones, the mentally retarded or disturbed, those who are too slow (they go to special schools), too difficult to handle (they go to educational institutions) and those who are too tired and too old (we put them in expensive homes).

There in Africa, everybody stays in his own village and is accepted and taken care of (except the really dangerous ones, they go to prison). Everybody has a natural social network and access to help. You are not isolated from society merely because you cannot walk or because you are mentally slow. They stick together. I figured out that inner loneliness and isolation is one of the main reasons why we are complaining so much.

The second difference is that all of these people are connected to something “greater” than themselves. They have a strong faith in a god who takes care of them. They spend a lot of time performing rituals to please their god(s) and get good health and harvest in return.

I gave these two differences a lot of thought and concluded that creating social networks of people and a solid relationship with something bigger than ourselves, are vitally important fundaments of human happiness.

It’s all about “connection.” Connection to each other. Connection to the Universe. In the meantime I found out that good things can happen only when we stay connected to each other and to the Universe. I started studying the Laws of the Universe and spent a lot of energy helping people establish a connection to each other and to the Universe. In fact, this became the very purpose of my life.

Many people think they are alone, without help, and have to do everything by themselves. This is not the case. You are guided, you are loved by Something Greater than your little personality. Try to feel this connection. Take time everyday to connect to the Source. Do like the African people I was lucky to meet so many years ago: create a real connection between yourself, the Universe and people around you, without being overly dependent on others. You will never feel alone again and you will be able to spread a lot more love around.

Living this kind of “connected life” will make you forget about your former complaints. What’s there to complain about? Your complaints will be replaced by gratitude! Say “thank you” to the Universe for all the things you already have, and for all the wonders that may still cross your path. Express your sincere gratitude for all the love you have received and will keep receiving throughout your life. Be grateful for the clean water coming out of the tap by a simple gesture of your hand, while many people spend six hours every day to get a little bit of water, and others die of thirst. Be grateful for the light you switch on with a simple flick. Large parts of the world have to do without electric power! Say “thank you” for the variety of food that is available to you every day – a lot of people have to get by on one scarce meal a day, or are simply starving.

There is so much to be grateful for. I felt so ashamed there in Africa, at 26 years old, hearing my white friends, bathing in luxury but still complaining, while my black friends, who had close to nothing, were laughing, friendly, grateful and most of the time quite happy with the little things in life.

It’s all in the mind. Gratitude and happiness are an attitude, a state of being. It has nothing to do with circumstances. The attitude is gratitude.

Do you want to achieve fulfilment, success and true hapiness?

2012-01-05T17:35:00.000-08:00

Are you in control of your destiny?

As you are reading these words, you may be thinking about and looking for a way to improve your sense of fulfilment, success and true happiness in your life.

It seems that some people nearly always attain success in relationships, business and personal fulfilment, while others in similar circumstances may do well, but never seem to reach the higher levels.

We often say they are "lucky" but I suggest that luck has nothing to do with it.

What does have everything to do with it are the following six factors.

They are the areas which every one of us need to improve in order to attain personal fulfilment, success and happiness. Which of these would you wish to improve?

1. Self-image.
Your beliefs about your self affect how you feel and how you appear to others. Your self-confidence and self-worth are the result of your self-image.

2. Self Control.
The true fact is that either you control your life or you are controlled by it.

3. Creativity.
In its broadest sense it is the artist and the scientist within you, who solves your problems and brings new ideas.

4. Cooperation.
No man is an island, and the successful person will be expert at communication skills, persuading and encouraging others to make his own and their shared goals come true.

5. Planning.
It is said, that "If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up somewhere else". If someone doesn't have clear and focused goals, they cannot complain if the "somewhere else" is not to their liking.

6. Concentration.
Willingness to get going, concentrated effort, persistence and resilience in the face of obstacles - all are crucial to success in achieving life goals.

Happy New Year - - - 2012 !!!

2011-12-31T20:52:00.000-08:00

Blessed New Year....

May GOD's blessings be with us this 2012.

Happy New YEar to all...

New Year's Resolutions? Don't Be So Hard On Yourself

2011-12-31T20:48:00.000-08:00

Have you set resolutions for yourself to accomplish in 2006? Maybe you want to get more exercise, eat healthier, or spend more time with your family. If you're in business for yourself, maybe you are thinking about hiring a bookkeeper, working fewer hours, or beefing up your marketing plan. All of those things are very good goals, but how do you really feel about them? If you're like me, you probably think that you need resolutions, and furthermore, you have to accomplish all of them in order to be successful. How can we not feel that way when the media is chirping away about making and keeping our new year's resolutions?

Well, maybe you should go a little easier on yourself. What about trying just one new thing to improve your life in some small way? This can either be something personal or professional. The important thing to remember is that this "thing," whatever it is, should be important to you, and bring value to your life in some way. Even if it's just taking 20 minutes at the end of each day to kick back, close your eyes and do absolutely nothing; if that will improve your peace-of-mind or help you to relax, that's great -- mission accomplished!

Try to remember that we are all human, and that no one is perfect. Take baby steps to reach your goals, and they won't seem so overwhelming. And if things are just fine in your life right now, and you don't feel the need to make any improvements, then don't. It's that simple. Don't worry about having lofty goals -- just focus on smaller ones as you see fit.

By taking care of yourself, and not putting the pressure on to create resolutions that you may never keep, you'll be able to enjoy 2005 to your fullest. Here's to a healthy, happy, and successful year ahead...your way!!

The Power of Positive Thinking.

2011-12-30T18:05:00.002-08:00

Welcome to the bridge of Manifest life. Don' t let any situation take the control. You are the second master of the game, under the universe master law, what you think is what you get. Can that be possible?
Yes it can be, you got to be in a manifesting state, your mind, your body is one, not two.
The flow of energy that is rotating in the universe can break you if you are not going in the right direction. You must follow the law of the universe, and be happy. Do not worry about what is happening, but accept it and act toward a positive trend if it can be done, but never stay without acting when the bad situation, the non lucky time frame is falling on you, this is definitivly a law of the universe, and it will happen again and again, you got to do something, but the thing that will put you on the right track...

You must understand that; be careful, the universe can' t be redirected, rather you should follow the same direction, and profit from the tremendous flow of vital energy coming from the six directions.
Good force are there, but you must know how to avoid the bad forces. Although the positive forces are stronger, it is easy to fall in the wrong wave, and quite difficult to focus and stay on the right way.
So how can you be positive all the time, you think: nobody can do that.
No, a lot of people do it, what is the difference between them?
Two kind of people: The sleeping, and the awake.
It is not the real sleep here, you should understand what the sleeper is: in fact, he is awake like everybody, so why is he a sleeper?

Just look around you, and try to find out: is that man awake or he is a sleeper? Do that exercise, and you will be astonished with the results, you will be able to feel people, to feel the energy, like you feel the wind touch on your skin...
He is a sleeper because he can' t control, he doesn' t see... Everyday, he wakes up like every people in this world(law of the universe, nobody can change it), however, he is not satisfied with his life, it is just a matter of doing things because they got to be done, because everybody is doing that...
The sleeper act, eat, do everything without vitality, without energy, without love, without passion, he is a sleeper, his life is empty.
Worst he doesn 't know what is life...
We will complete the sleeping case, and start with the awake, the enlighten case...

You Make Me Feel

2011-12-30T18:05:00.001-08:00

Do other people make you feel things?

Do they make you feel happy or sad?

I’m curious. How do they make you feel this way?

Do they say, “Hey, here’s a tin of sadness.”

Or maybe they say, “Ahh, you need a bucket of happiness. Hold on, I’ve got one here you can have.”

Can you find happiness or sadness on the supermarket shelves, pre-packaged and ready to go?

Shopaholics amongst you would argue that you could; however I would say you can’t.

We often rely on other people to “make” us feel a certain way. We rely on them to do something, say something, be something in order for us to feel happy. If they don’t do what we are expecting them to, we get upset, sad and hurt.

In short, we often attempt to control other people in order to control how we feel; that is, our emotions.

And when we do this, we are setting ourselves up for failure, because we can’t control anyone else. We cannot force anyone to do anything or assume they will.

There is just one person we control; ourselves.

People don’t make us feel certain emotions. We choose to feel them. We decide to react in a certain way. We make assumptions about what people mean. We leap to conclusions.

No one can give you a tin of unhappiness, or a bucket of joy. These things are not physical items that can be passed from person to person. They are intangible items that exist only in ourselves.

In fact just the other day I was at a wedding. I told one of my friends how wonderful she looked and how much I liked her outfit. She leapt to the conclusion that I was being sarcastic and chose to be offended by what was a genuine compliment.

Had I even been being sarcastic, she could have chosen to be complimented and replied with a, “I’m glad you like it” and felt better about herself.

There was a guy I knew when I was younger. He was short, balding, spotty and he had been short changed in the looks department. Yet whenever we went out to bars, he’d wander up to any pretty woman and start talking to her. If she turned him down, he’d shrug his shoulders and continue.

I don’t think it ever even occurred to him to feel bad about these rejections. He’d just smile and say, “Your loss” and move on to the next one.

Believe it or not, each of you are in control of yourself and how you feel. You can choose to feel anyway you want. Right now, you could choose to feel happy; or I am sure you could choose to feel sad. Just by thinking about it, you could change how you feel.

It’s almost magic isn’t it?

So what about choosing how you feel when you are interacting with other people?

The vast majority of people run on auto-pilot. They allow their body and mind to more or less get on with it, not worrying too much about the programs that are running or the condition of it. It doesn’t interfere with them too much so they allow it to get on with it.

It’s like watching all the cars driving around a city and not realising there is someone inside controlling them.

Most people have forgotten there is this “person” inside of them controlling them.

If you choose, you can take back control of how you feel and stop relying on other people to meet certain conditions.

When you go to the office and someone says, “Good Morning” to you, you can choose to grumble and mutter, “There’s nothing good about it.” Or, you can choose to reply in kind and say, “It’s a fantastic morning.”

That is, you can choose to feel bad or choose to feel good.

Which do you prefer?

Realise that you are the only person who can make you feel anything and stop allowing the people around you to make you feel bad. Decide to feel good and enjoy yourself.

If someone turns you down or rejects you, “It’s their loss” or something similar.

If someone says insults you, “Poor thing, must be confused” or something similar.

Decide to take back control of yourself and your life and to stop being on auto-pilot. Choose how you are going to feel instead of allowing other people to choose for you.

Where is Happiness?

2011-12-30T18:03:00.000-08:00

o you move through life feeling everyday is the same? Like some repeated pattern that goes on and on? For some people, there's nothing new to do under the sun, and nowhere to go. Everything is just boring, boring, boring. They work so hard to earn enough money to play, but yet their playtime passes so fast. Suffer five days, enjoy two days. Sometimes, to break the monotony, they seek thrill through intoxicants (alcohol, smoke), sex, and even drugs. For these temporary pleasures, it feels exciting while it's happening, but once it's over, the same pattern of meaninglessness sets in, and they're left thinking, "When can I get the next high?"

Perhaps you will recognize this scene... Two old men are sitting on a bus. As the bus passes by the red-light district, one old man says to the other, "Hey... aren't you going to see the chickens (prostitute) today?" The other man raises an eyebrow... a spark in his wrinkled eyes, "Yes, yes, I will be going this afternoon!" The first old man smirks, and says, "You didn't even bring your medicine, how can you DO IT?"

For some people, their lust is so strong, that they borrow money from family and friends, just to visit brothels. You will see this pattern in addicts. Drug addicts, sex addicts, alcohol addicts. They're always looking for the greater thrill and the next high, and that's what sets their life on a downward spiral. They waste their time, energy, and money, instead of using it to build success.

For life to have zest, everyone needs that natural feeling of drive, anticipation, and excitement. When one does not know how to get it naturally, one may resort to vices to stimulate that sense of being fully alive, desperately trying to bring some meaning into life. But you see, happiness is within you... If you can’t satisfy your wants, then the other way to happiness is to release them. Let go of that which you must have. Shakyamuni Buddha said that, "All desire leads to suffering..." Suffering because you crave what you do not have. And let me ask you this: Is this yearning self-created? Or something imposed on you by the outside world? Perhaps it's the outside world's fault because other people keep flaunting their luxuries and exotic experiences. But surely, we create this yearning within ourselves. It is within our power to control it, or release it altogether.

Lord Richard Layard, Professor from the London School of Economics, a leading happiness researcher, says, "Happiness is a balance between your expectations and your attainments. One way is to get what you want. The other, is liking what you get."

Many of our desires are misplaced. We think getting them will bring us happiness, but that is an illusion. These misplaced desires are nothing more than temporary pleasures. You don't need to satisfy your desires to be happy; you need only release them. Do you need the attention of the opposite sex? No, as you get older, your body parts will sag, and the opposite sex will pay less attention to you. Must you get laid to be happy? No, as you age, your sex hormones will lessen, and so will your desire to mate. Must you wait till you have a million bucks? Nope. Historical and worldwide research shows that above US$15,000 a year, higher income is no guarantee of greater happiness.

The people who feel good everyday, without resorting to vices, have one mental characteristic in common. They have a dream, and they know what they want to achieve in life. This sense of purpose drives them; gives meaning to their existence. They have discovered their soul's calling, and are living life to the fullest by following it. This is different from those who are 'party animals', "living life to the fullest" by drowning in deafening music, and shaking till the sun rises... That's not living, that's dying.

If you want to find true meaning and happiness in life, then you've got to uncover your life's purpose. For each of us has a unique destiny. A path made specially for you to walk on this journey through life. Follow it, and you arrive in paradise. Ignore it, and you continue to wander... wasting time, and life itself.

1. You need to know what you’re made of. Your talents, strengths, and abilities.
2. Craft a vision for yourself, and visualize that dream in your mind.
3. Work out a plan that sets your goals and decides what actions you must take to achieve them.
4. Tell your closest friends about it, and commit yourself to taking five of the planned actions everyday to build your dream.

When you see that your actions are creating results, it will be a natural source of excitement and inspiration. Instead of spending time, energy, and money on vices, you invest it in creating an upward spiral of success. By releasing your desire for temporary pleasures, you kick your bad habit out the door. By choosing to live your purpose and answer your soul’s calling, you break free from the chains of monotony, and find truth, meaning, and happiness in life.

Discover Your Path to Success – Part 4

2011-12-29T21:41:00.000-08:00

In Part Three, I promised we would get into the resources. Before we do, however, let’s discuss a treasure that most of us have been exposed to, but don’t take nearly enough time out of our day to focus on – the power of prayer. This may offend some people, but I hope it does not; as that is not
my intent.

As humans, we have progressed in so many ways, but we have lost touch with our bodies, nature, and the power of prayer. There seems to be a spiritual renaissance, of sorts, going on in the “new age” movement.

However, there are a large number of children growing up with no spiritual guidance at all. There are many reasons, and excuses, for this, but a large portion of this generation of children could grow up, out of touch, with their spiritual health.

Always remember that “whole health” deals with mind, body, and spirit, as they are interconnected. If these three components are healthy, you are in good shape at any age.

What does this have to do with success? Well, God does make the ultimate ally. Your prayers do honor God’s presence - by giving thanks, and asking for help, in times of need. You will feel much better, and prayer applies to every religion.

Personally, the importance does not lie in what religion you are; however, a lack of religion does seem to run parallel with depression. This is classified as spiritual illness, which will have a negative effect on you mentally, physically, or totally.

The concept of God does not apply to all religions, but the concept of prayer does. If you try it, you will heal from the inside - out.

The following resources start from classics that my Grandfather gave to me as a child.

The Law of Success, by Napoleon Hill - 1928

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie - 1936

Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill - 1937

The Power of Positive Thinking, by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale – 1952

All of these books can be found in audio format, which makes them very
handy, especially if you are commuting in your car. Each of these books can
also be found on my desk, or in the book case, in my office. Over the years, I had to replace some of the old books my Grandfather gave me, as the worn pages separated from the bindings.

I extend my apologies to the many other great authors, who I did not list; that would be a very large book, within itself. The fact is - this is a good starting point before venturing out and discovering the hidden treasures in print, eBooks, or audio books.

Now you have the last hidden treasures to carve your own path to success. If you put these principles into action, there is no way you can fail. May your journey be a pleasant and safe one.

Discover Your Path to Success - Part 3

2011-12-29T21:40:00.002-08:00

If you have read this far, we both know you are serious about succeeding, getting the most out of life, and attaining your goals.

Now, how do you “keep the fire burning” during life’s daily struggle? It’s simple really, but will require the patience to take each task into consideration, without doing everything at once.

You will get the urge to make up for lost time. You now want to jump ahead at “light speed.” If you already read Parts One and Two of this series, you are way ahead of the pack. So many people sit around and dream, doubt, or just talk, but very few take action and then stick with it.

The next step is to get a “coach.” You are now thinking, coaches are expensive; and you are right, but you don’t have to spend much. Here’s how it works: Look for the most positive person you can find, see, or hear, around you. This person is full of positive energy, and all you have to do is listen.

You can be selective about advice, but realize that positive energy is contagious, and you will walk away from conversations with positive energy, too. On the other hand, stay away from negative talk; it is also contagious.

Are you in need of more positive energy? No problem - read articles like this, read self-improvement books, or listen to inspirational audio books, to instill positive energy within you. You can’t lose with a steady dose of positive energy to carry you through the day.

So how do you separate good information from bad? Where do you start, and what, or who, would you listen to first? In the last, and final article of this series, I promise to reveal some great resources, but for now, it’s a good idea to gain positive energy by choosing sources that you find interesting.

If I lead you to a classic self-improvement book, you might find it boring.
However, if you start to read something and can’t put it down, you are getting positive energy and you are enjoying it.

Do yourself a favor, and get a self-improvement source today. You don’t have to implement all of the advice you read - just take what fits into your lifestyle.

Now, let’s look at visualization. This is an extremely powerful treasure, and all of us have the ability to visualize. Ever since the first human had a fantasy, and it came to pass, the power of visualization has built entire civilizations.

Think about what you want, close your eyes, envision it, and see that you have accomplished it. This is only an exercise, but it is an exercise toward success. Never confuse visualization with “pipe dreams.” Visualization is an exercise to cultivate positive energy, move forward, and accomplish goals.

The hidden treasures you found today are patience, the ability to learn, and visualization. Again, you already had them, but patience will require a little extra work, as it does for all of us.

Discover Your Path to Success - Part 2

2011-12-29T21:40:00.001-08:00

Time taken for self-analysis is so important in developing your road map to success. Let’s continue with a few more questions to ask yourself - before we go into the heart of the formula for personal success.

Are you easily distracted?

Most people cannot focus on a goal, without getting “side tracked.” When this cannot be helped, you can develop a new skill set, through meditation, self-hypnosis, or by learning not to give up. You can learn to meditate in a variety of ways. At my site, we have a course, but you can also find Yoga classes where meditation is taught. There are many good books and CD’s. A very good CD is Meditation Made Simple by John Daniels.

Picture it like this: Christopher Columbus truly had a one-dimensional personality; he was focused on finding an alternate route to Asia, to the point of being a poor “family man.” However, unlike most people, he stayed focused and never gave up.

Now you don’t have to give up everything in life to achieve a goal, but you have to focus on your goal, avoid giving up, getting depressed, and make up your mind to enjoy the journey. It is still wise to have a complete life by allowing time for your family and friends. If you stay on a straight course, you will be “ahead in the game,” but you will have to mentally focus on your end result, even in bad economic times.

Can you rationally separate good advice from bad?

You will hear many opinions – some will be constructive, and others will be useless. You will have to know the difference, by evaluating all advice without emotion, and with an open mind.

Is the ultimate reward worth the cost and sacrifice?

You should already know that you may invest time, money, work, or all three, to reach your ultimate goal. Envision yourself reaching your ultimate objective, and if it is worth all of the sacrifice, then you should move on to the next step.

Start moving forward now. If you didn’t write your goals down, evaluate them, and prioritize them, you should go back to part one again, to finish that assignment. Much similar to a business, you must have a written plan to move forward.

Just don’t worry about getting it perfect. None of us ever do, and your plans will change as you go. In fact, life is adapting to a constantly changing universe. Most of us cannot accurately predict the cycles of the economy. We design a plan and prepare to turn on a dime, if necessary. Everything in life is subject to change and all of us have to accept it.

Realizing this, you now proceed with caution toward your short-term goals.
Once you have designed your plan, there is no need to “wait until next year.”

Put your plan into action and take one forward step at a time. This one step is the biggest of all your steps, and your commitment to succeed is your “guiding light.”

Now, what were the “hidden treasures” you found in part two? The answer is focus, commitment, and acceptance. You already have them; all you need to do is get the most out of what you already have.

Discover Your Path to Success - Part 1

2011-12-29T21:37:00.000-08:00

Success can easily be compared to the “genie trapped in a bottle.” For many of us, it is a matter of finding a way to open the bottle, and then, follow a specific path. This path is filled with pitfalls, and traps, along the way, so it is wise to expand your vision by learning as you go.

To many people, success is a “fairytale” and as elusive as a Yeti. In reality, success is just around the corner, and sometimes already exists, as hidden treasure. I am not talking about sunken ships or Indiana Jones. What I am referring to are skills you already possess, friends and family who will help you, and accomplishments that you already have made.

When you put these hidden treasures, together, with your end goal in mind, you are on your way toward success. Now let’s look at a way to move forward every day, live a quality life, and help everyone around you, in the process.

Write all of your goals down, and keep them in a place that you will see. This could be on a piece of paper in your pocket, on your desk top, in a notebook, in your diary, or on your palm pilot. Wherever you put this information, it should be a place where you will see it, every day.

Separate realistic from lofty goals, but don’t throw lofty goals out. Also, separate short-term goals, from long-term goals, and design estimated time frames, for measured results. You don’t have to share this with anyone, unless they share the same goal. If you have, at least, one close friend, spouse, or family, who shares the same dream, you are in a very strong position.

However, you don’t need to be a “politician” to be successful, if you learn to focus on your goals, every day. Now we have to go over a few questions that will also help you design your road map toward success.

Will your goals hurt anyone? Will you have to step on anyone to get what you want?

If you answered yes to either one of the above questions, you should redefine your goal or goals, so you can achieve it or them without harming anyone in the process. If that is not possible, throw that goal out, and move on. Your goals should help people and be morally sound.

Do you have a real passion for your goals?

This one is also important because, if your goal is “flipping burgers” for money, it won’t be long, before that gets old. I have yet to meet the person, who has a real passion for flipping burgers. Please don’t get me wrong, some people are very good at it, but I have known many short order cooks, who wish they were doing something else besides “slaving” over a hot stove.

What you choose, must be something you love doing, and the money will follow. There are so many people, who craft an occupation, based upon money alone, and learn to regret it. If you have a purpose in life you have “self-worth.” Self-worth is a very valuable hidden treasure.

Love Is The Answer (Sounds Trite But It's True)

2011-12-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

It’s all about love. It may seem trite to say, but its true. Love is where it’s at.

What do you want to do in life? It goes easier with love in your heart.
Want better relationships, or a better family life? Make sure love is in your heart.
Trying to do a better job at work? Do it with love.
Trying to make a difference in anything? Start by finding love.
Is there pain in your life that needs mending? Love is what heals.
Are you lonely; still looking for that special someone? Love will find a way.

In a world of pain and anguish, of seemingly endless problems and crises, love is so often forgotten or overlooked. In times of national crisis does anyone advocate love and forgiveness? And how often do you, when faced with interpersonal conflict, remember to keep love in your heart for the person you are facing?

This, of course, is not to say that love alone will solve all problems. But it is to say that all approaches to any problem will always resolve quicker and easier and will lead toward healing when love is consciously present.

Violence does not stop violence; it only breeds more violence. Period. The scars born of violence do not go away; rather, they fester and return in kind.

Love dissipates violence. Not always immediately, but always eventually. This is why the most powerful advocates for peace are the most vocal advocates for love. We need only look at leaders like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, who both advocated nonviolent protest and loving the enemy, to see that armies may be conquered and systematic repression can be stopped with the use of long-term campaigns of love, kindness, and forgiveness.

Again, this is not to say that love alone is a panacea, a magic pill that cures all. It is only to say that all methods and plans for positive change will always work better when there is an undercurrent of conscious loving energy.

Love is the one thing that is universally revered as being good for us all, and yet, with tragic consequence, it is so often ignored as a technique for change. Indeed, finding and keeping love in our hearts is the only way to consistently promote and effect healing, on both a personal and a national level.

It is fear that drives us to violence, as individuals and as nations. It takes courage to look beyond that fear and to consider that forgiveness and acceptance are necessary elements in any healthy relationship, whether it’s between two people or between two cultures. Fear pushes away; love brings together.

Love is the universal element that can be used in any situation where positive change is needed. It is not the only element, but is the element that can be used anytime, anywhere.

Love is the answer.

Keep Thinking Positive For A Happy Life

2011-12-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

I have met many people in my life who are very negative. They moan about seemingly everything and walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. I was also like that until the age of twenty-two, at this age I decided to have a new approach to life.

For those first twenty-two years, I was forever feeling sorry for myself. My friends all appeared to have so much more than me, and my life was one long hard struggle, compared to theirs. I was caught up in a web of negativity and needed someone or something to help me to escape.

During an afternoon at work one day, aged as I say twenty-two, a colleague I was working with started to talk to me. What he said was a shock to me, however would have a profound effect on my future. He said to me:

"Your are somebody who always thinks in a negative way, you a right depressive person, aren't you?"

"Am I?"

I said in a shocked voice as I believed I was no different to anybody else. He continued:

"Yes you are. You very rarely smile, you are negative about most issues and you always seem to be carrying the world on your shoulders".

This man was aged around fifty three and continued:

"I used to be like you and then I was given some advice, of which I am now going to relay to you. When you feel down, depressed or sorry for yourself, read the newspapers or watch the news on the television. You may then realise that you are in fact one of the lucky ones."

I had a long think about what he had said. I had never been a big reader or watcher of the news, but decided to give it a go. The advice he gave me was totally correct, the news from around the world and even my own country was quite shocking. I realised that the worries I had were actually quite trivial and that I needed to cherish everyday and start to look on the bright side of life.

It Costs Nothing To Smile

2011-12-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

I like to be around positive people, people who tend to be happy, who look on the bright side of life. Far too many people walk around in what seems like a depressed state. Come on people, it costs nothing to smile.

I must admit, I used to be one of the ones who walked around in a depressed state. I had many things on my mind, many things I was not happy with, I used to feel so sorry for myself. Even when I write about it now, I laugh about how pathetic I used to be.

Things were about to change however. At the time a new employee joined the company where I worked, his name was Stuart. Now this may seem cruel but Stuart did not have a lot going for him. I won't go into details but lets just say I did not feel jealous of his life. I became quite good friends with Stuart and we would go to lunch together. I would meet him in the canteen at 1pm and would be waiting in my gloomy state of mind for him to arrive. Arrive he certianly did, always with a beaming smile on his face. We would sit down and talk whilst eating our lunch and he never had a negative word to say. When he talked, he talked with passion, about sports and films. One day it dawned on me, if Stuart (who from what I know of him, seemingly has nothing) can always be positive, happy and smiling, why can't I?

This was the beginning of a new era in my life. An era of being positive, appreciating what I have got and more than anything else, plenty of smiles.

How To Increase Self Confidence

2011-12-28T22:23:00.000-08:00

Are you looking into ways to help you to gain more confidence? Have you a lack of self-belief? Do you think that you are a weak person? Would you like to be more care-free person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this article may well be worth a read. I am going to write about how people can go about increasing their self-confidence. This advice is what I have used to help myself turn from an often depressive person to a now happy and relaxed young man.

My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.

One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.

I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.

I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.

As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o'clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.

I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.

Learn How To Love Yourself

2011-12-27T17:44:00.002-08:00

I’m sure you read a lot of times this sentence : you need first to love yourself.
But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside?

Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.

When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.

When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.

Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.
Let’s say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She’s four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you’re always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).

All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her “Shut up!”. You say “I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don’t have time for you!”

How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she’s getting aggressive from time to time. You think you’re angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She’s sad and angry because you don’t care about her! You act as if she doesn’t exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn’t exist. This means trying to live as if WE don’t exist.

The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one's self. Nothing is worse than this!

How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child “Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you”? Awful isn’t it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.

This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :”It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t want to take care of me, I’m not worth it”, and she will get depressed.

Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents.
It is nobody’s fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.

When, after getting depressed things still don’t change, there’s one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.

You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.

What does that mean?

First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : “What happens, my darling?” Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : “Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel.”
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : “I understand”. These words are very important, because most of the time we don’t feel very “normal” having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. “I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you.”
Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :” What do you need?”
Whatever the Child answers, you say : “We will ask this of your Father”.

And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child’s desires in the world.

When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings (“I understand you’re afraid…”) and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn’t have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.

Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.

Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.

Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.
It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.

This is inner healing.

If You'll ... Then I'll ...

2011-12-27T17:44:00.001-08:00

Fill in the blanks in the above sentence however you want.

Have you heard this often?

Do you say it often?

Do you think it often?

This simple sentence is a contract that is often unconsciously created with people, and it can have a disastrous effect on your life.

Just the other day, a friend was telling me about her husband and the fact they had a weekend together without the children. She was telling me that if he brought her flowers and took her out for dinner, then she would feel loved and cared for.

Guess what, he didn’t buy her flowers or take her out for dinner. He decided to sit in and read the new Harry Potter book!

And I wonder if you can guess how she felt?

That’s right. She felt rejected, unloved, unhappy and had a generally miserable weekend.

And of course, he was oblivious to all this and had no idea what he had done wrong!

Everyone creates unconscious contracts, from childhood through to adulthood. You create conditions which rely on other people to perform certain actions in order for you to feel certain emotions.

In fact, you often create the contracts with people and then don’t even tell them about it!!!

How on earth are they meant to meet these conditions if they are not even aware of them in the first place?

“If you do … then I will feel …”

“If you don’t do … then I will be …”

I witnessed a mother shouting at her son in the supermarket the other day, “If you don’t behave then no one will like you”.

What a fantastic contract to put on a kid … NOT!

What effect do you think saying something like that could have on a child?

Or even an adult?

You cannot make anyone else do anything; you can’t force people to do things that meet your conditions. You have no control over anyone else.

The only person you can control is yourself.

If you are going to make these contracts with people, then tell them. You’ll discover your relationships improve immensely because of it. Also, you may find these contracts are met more often because at least by being aware of it, the other person can attempt to meet it.

Watch yourself and see how often you say, “If you … then I ….” to yourself. What effect does this have on your life? Do these contracts make your life better or worse?

Stop making these contracts that make you unhappy and start making contracts that make you feel great and improve your life.

What if you had a contract with everyone that said something like, “If you are yourself and do whatever you do, harming none, then I’ll like you”?

Do you think that would make you feel better?

Removing these contracts allows you to practise acceptance. You can accept people for who and what they are and what they do. It allows you to get on with these people better, stops you judging them and stops you from allowing them to hurt you.

Accept the people around you for who and what they are and remove the contracts that you used to have. You will find that your quality of life improves because you are not being allowing them to hurt you any more.

Finding You in Healing the Hidden Self

2011-12-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

People today are starting to recognize the value of self-talk. At one time people thought of those that talked to self as someone with a mental ailment. This is not true today. Experts are recognizing that self-talk is a healthy tool that we all can use to find answers to our questions and resolve many problems.

At one time, people thought outer appearance made the person. However, today, people are starting to realize that beauty is skin deep, while inner beauty is to the bone. Today people are running to find ways to develop self.

Recently, personality development courses opened to help these people find their way. Now, people are not spending countless of dollars on improving their looks, rather they are spending more time and money to find ways of healing the hidden self.

The hidden being is decided on the inner conscious. We all have several hidden personalities that we do not recognize. These personalities often come out, usually when feelings are expressed.

To understand one’s feelings, one has to use his or her self-talk tools. Most of us can manage our job tasks on a daily schedule, but when it comes to managing our feelings and emotions, often it becomes a struggle. Using self-talk tools can change this behavior.

As humans, we often struggle to abandon bad behaviors, or habits. The common problem we face today is greed. We see this by examining human behaviors. You probably noticed that on several occasions when a person made a small lump sum of cash, they often want more. Instead of accepting that they have what they need, many people will thrive to make more money, and often find themselves down and out at the end; Life seems to be nothing more than the almighty dollar, i.e. most people’s goal in life.

People tend to believe that they can attain happiness and love by making more money. The fact is these people often find themselves stressing, because they failed to realize that finding love, joy, and peace is the true road to self-development. Success or failure is not what makes a person. What makes a person is fighting through the hidden messages in the subliminal mind to discover self.

We all battle emotional responses, such as anger, sadness, joy, et cetera and these emotions ignite from failures, depression, and success and so on. We all feel down at times. There is no way that we can escape the feeling of sadness, joy, anger, et cetera, but there is a way we can all take control of what we express and feel.

Another problem we face is dependency. Many people in the world today depend on others to pick them up when they are down. This leads to major problems, simply because not one person has the power to heal you, but you.

To work through all of these problems, we must depend on self, and develop a winning attitude to build confidence. By changing our approach, we can see that the world is our own based on how we accept it. If a body is unhappy, then the world will seem like a miserable place to live. One of the common sayings today is, “Life is a B, and then you die.” This entire negative is causing them to miss the benefits of living.

In each of our lives, some of us are fortunate while others are unfortunate. We must realize that everything we endure takes place to help us learn. For instance, a severely traumatized person may have lived a life of overwhelming violence. There is a point to be made here. Of course, this person is the victim and has no responsibility of what has occurred in his or her life, yet the point is made clear at the end of this person’s journey.

We can all live and learn from each other. Despite what type of life you have lived you can develop a positive attitude and win the game of life. By holding onto negative thoughts, you only defeat the purpose of living. Life is too short, so develop a winning attitude and healing the hidden self will fall into place.

Don't Be A Slave To Your Things

2011-12-27T17:41:00.000-08:00

Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming pool that sit unused? Is it that you don't have time to use them because you have to work so much just to pay for them? Sometimes it seems like all the things we own somehow own us.

The bad news is that it's often true. We have to arrange our lives around our things. You get a new truck that can go anywhere, but you're too busy working to go there. Someone is out fishing while you are putting in overtime to pay for your fishing boat. You use your large-screen television a lot, but does it sufficiently reduce the debt-stress that came with it?

Break The Chains!

The good news is that there's a better way. Actually, there are three better ways. First, know what you really value. Second, use cash instead of debt. Third, learn how to look at costs and benefits.

Will you really enjoy that $2,000 mountain bicycle enough? Maybe. This isn't about right or wrong desires. It's a question of truly seeing your own values. Think back to things you've bought but not used, or not used enough. What truly enjoyable things could you do with that money if you had it now? You've got to be self aware and honest.

Cash is king. The price may seem the same, but put those things on a credit card and, with interest, you'll pay a lot more. Cash means you have to save and wait a little for things, but you can buy more and have less stress. Credit cards provide the illusion of a richer life. Escaping debt gives you the reality.

Finally, learn to understand costs and benefits. A friend once came to the realization, using pen and paper, that his jetski cost him $300 for every hour he used it the first year. Loan interest, gas, insurance, depreciation, repairs, licenses - these things add up. And he thought it was too expensive to pay $100 per day to rent one! Consider the real costs of things, and look for a cheaper way, or at least make an honest decision that it's worth $300 per hour to you.

Your things should be making your life better. If they aren't, you need to start looking at them differently. Don't let your things own you. Change your approach.

Christmas day 2011

2011-12-23T18:17:00.002-08:00

Merry Christmas to all...
Hope we had all the happiness we want in this life...
Bring joy to your own self and to others...
Give LOVE to others as well...

Above all is Love GOD.

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year To All.

Money Can Not Buy You Happiness

2011-12-23T18:17:00.001-08:00

I am sure there will be many people who read this article and will think I am rather mad. Quite frankly I do not care. In this article I write about what in my humble opinion are the most importants things in life, health and happiness.

All that most of my friends talk about is money:

What car do you drive?

How much is your house worth?

How much do you earn?

How much did your suit cost?

Where are you going on holiday this year?

I find all of this very boring and think that they are rather sad. They seem to be in some sort of competition and they are basically obsessed about money.

I will give you an example of one such friend, his name is John. He never seems to talk about anything else and is always looking into get rich quick schemes. He is also in a lottery syndicate, of which there are about fifty members. Each member pays around ten pounds in per week. John likes to go out socialising on a Saturday night, however soon gets itchy feet at the time of the lottery draw. A few minutes later he will go to the toilet where he will then phone his girlfriend. He takes with him to the toilet a piece of paper with his numbers on and a little pen. After his girlfriend has told him which numbers were drawn, John will then then spend around twenty minutes checking his numbers, and then re-checking to see if he has any winning lines.

Eventually he returns to the group who seem very keen (apart from me) to find out how much he has won/lost. To date he has only won small amounts, however is convinced that one day he will become a millionaire. He will then start talking about the lottery, asking other people what they would buy if they were lucky enough to ever win. At this point I become very bored and start to wish I had stayed at home and watched the football.

For me the two most important things in life are health and happiness. These are two things which money can not buy. A few years ago, my dad was taken ill. He was in a real bad way and had to spend around five months in hospital. Him being ill was a huge shock to me as he was only fifty-seven. I feared the worst, even though I was trying my hardest to think and stay positive. I remember thinking, if I gave those doctors everything I own in the world, it still would not help him. I felt powerless and at that moment realised that money is only paper.

Happiness is the same, I remember at the age of twenty-one having lots of money and had been surprised that I was depressed at the same time. At other times I have had next to no money and have been extremely happy.

Life Is Wonderful

2011-12-23T18:16:00.001-08:00

It is so simple and so easy to get what we want that we have a hard time to believe it. We are programmed to do things the hard and difficult way, in order to get what we want. We can not believe that we can get anything without hard labour, sweat and tears, obstacles
and misery.

This is nothing else but a tough old programmation, a conditioning from our childhood. If you are like me, you were bombarded as a child with expressions from adults about how hard life is and how we have to struggle to get something. We were submitted to a hazardous universe or a God of revenge who could pick us out without any reason to take revenge on us for something we did wrong. We needed to avoid being bad or wrong, but disease could strike us anyway. Sometimes they even said : “It’s again a good one who’s punished, and the bad one take off easily like usual without paying anything!”. We learned that life wasn’t fair. We lived in fear and thought life was a valley of tears, fear, struggle, pain, disease
and death?

How would it have been if they’ve told us the truth? The truth, nothing but the truth? That life is easy, wonderful. That miracles happen all the time and that we have the power to make them happen in our own life! That the universe loves us. That there is wealth and health for everyone. That we don’t live in a universe of scarcity but of abundance. That we only have to put the right thoughts in our heads to make these dreams real for us.

What would your life have looked like if your parents and teachers would have taught you the truth?

You would have suffered much less! You would not have believed you were less than nothing. You would not have been filled with fear over your ears of getting sick or failing, of being stupid or being not good enough.

If you would have known from the beginning that you were a creation of the Creator, that you will always remain, that you will always be around, that you were created for a reason, and when you find this reason you will be happy, what would your life look like now? If you were told that you had talents, unique qualities, that make you a special person, and that you are on earth with the mission to offer these talents to others, where would you be right now and what would you be doing now?

Isn’t it nice? The Genius who created this whole thing did really well : we are sent to earth with a mission and to be able to assume our mission we are already fully equiped from the beginning : we are gifted with natural talents and all we have to do is develop our talents and offer them to the world! Simply said, we have to do what we can do easily already and what we are talented for, and than happiness, satisfaction, love, money and everything we want comes flowing our way!

It is so beautiful, this concept! All we have to do is to do what we love! And of course we need to stop once for all to think we don’t deserve happiness or wealth or health. All these thoughts are wrong because they go against the principles of creation of the Universe.

We are already wonderful! We are already loved! We are already rich! We are already free! We are already intelligent! We are already healthy!
Why? Because we were all this before we started our life. It is the way we really are. It is the way we were created, we were born. This is the truth about ourselves. Everything else is “learned” afterwards.

The good news is whatever is learned can be un-learned. Every programmation can be changed and replaced by a new program.

And again, life is wonderful, because a positive thought is 10,000 times more powerful than a negative thought. So you don’t have to take another 40 years to undo the negative conditioning in your head. One positive thought can counterbalance 10,000 negative ones.

Can you imagine? Aren’t we lucky?

If you choose to do so, you can rapidly turn around your negative program in your head. Go to the bookstore, buy some books with positive thoughts, put them at every toilet in the house, in the bathroom, in your bedroom, in your living room, and read them whenever you think of it or see them. It doesn’t matter if you read one page after another or if you just open the book as it falls in your hands. The message you will receive will be the right one for you at that very moment.

Every morning you start your day by saying thank you to the Universe for your bed, your house, the roof over your head, the people living with your, the water coming out of your tap, the light switching on by a simple gesture of your hand, the food available, the choices you can make that day, the love you received in your life and the love you will receive, the miracles which will happen today and the air you can breath.

In your car, listen to CD’s or cassettes with positive programmation. Listen to them while you make dinner, clean the house or iron your clothes.

Surround yourself with positive people and stop nourishing negative social talk. Don’t watch television unless there is some really positive program.

There is a lot you can do to take a positive turn in your life. Don’t think you can do nothing. You are responsible for your life now. Make your choice! Know that every thought you think is either one which will weaken you, or one which will make you feel stronger.
The choice is yours!

Living with Joy

2011-12-23T18:15:00.001-08:00

Living with joy can sometimes be a challenge. When things appear to be going against our will, we tend to experience this as pain, suffering, or that we’re having a bad day. Recognizing that we are in control of our feelings, and that we have the choice to live in joy, or in fear is the first step to creating a life full of joy and positivity.

One principle that we all need to acquire is the ability to see all situations, people, and events from a positive perspective. Instead of viewing bad things in life as a prompt to get upset and angry, try to view the “bad things” as lessons that are helping you grow, helping you to become as whole of an individual as possible. Too many times, we think that the outer world, the physical reality is creating our day, causing us to be sad or unhappy; however it is the opposite that is true. We create our day, we create the circumstances for joyous living.

The most important lesson is that “beingness” precedes experience. In order to be happy, we first need to “be happy” inside, and this internal happiness radiates outward through every cell of our bodies and creates the outer experience of a smile, or a laugh, or an intimate connection between two people. It is in this “beingness” that we have the ability to see and to choose our feelings, desires, goals, and dreams, which then enables us to manifest an outer reality based on our true selves.

We create the reality in which we experience joy, anger, love, and fear. Because we have the ability, the free will, to choose our reality, we can make that conscious choice to try to just be happier, more grateful, and more sensitive. This happiness though will never come if you are looking outside of yourself first. Because, what we just learned is that in order to be happy we have to have the internal feeling of happiness to then create that happiness in our daily lives. Remember that your beliefs about reality create your experience of it.

So, start changing your negatives into positives, gain clarity, and open your heart by looking inside yourself. When we start changing ourselves from inside out, the universe will respond to us in ways in which we could never imagine. The ability to start manifesting your goals and dreams is already inside of you. Take the leap to start living in joy today.

Living A Happy Life

2011-12-23T18:13:00.000-08:00

Most of us get up each day and go through the same routine whatever we do in life – most of us are reasonably happy and content and just get on with living.

There is of course nothing wrong with that in the slightest but what would you say if you were granted the gift of REAL happiness which lead you down a path of such peace and contentment that no other experience you’ve had to date could compare.

You know what it’s like when you are looking forward to Christmas, the anticipation and the excitement just builds and builds. The same is true when the countdown to your holiday begins and then the joy of the holiday itself.

Well how would you like those feelings of pure joy, anticipation and excitement to be with you on a daily basis and then to find that the fulfilment part is even better – a feeling that you could just “burst for joy” and an inner peace and contentment that you’ve only ever seen at the movies?

Well I’ve found just that and the adrenalin seems to be pumping all the time and the buzz and excitement I get from life still amazes me.

I had the most amazing experience just under 3 years ago and my life changed dramatically from that day on and the incredible thing is that it just gets better and better – the miraculous gift that I’ve been given is something that I feel driven to expose the rest of mankind too, regardless of race colour or creed.

It was for that reason my book formed (I had been writing a few details of my experiences and at the time I had no intention of actually writing a book) and I just want to share this experience because if we could all feel like I do now the world would be such a different place to live in not just for us but for our children and their children and so on – a happy life is there for us all if we just accept the wondrous gift that is on offer – a gift that actually costs us nothing at all.

A recent testimonial, exerts of which are included below, show just why I want this book to reach and touch people who are looking for what I’ve found.

I LAVISHED your book. My life was in shambles; my wife had divorced me and tonight I was in such a state of despair that I had rung my Mother to tell her that suicide was my only option - after reading your book I have a peace about me that I have not had since I was 19 and I'm 56 now. Thank you thank you for allowing God to speak through you to me - I now feel a complete relief from all the pain and misery I have known for the past 37 years and I thank you for saving my life - actually GOD SAVED MY LIFE but you threw me the life preserver - may God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.

Overcoming Depression

2011-12-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

Identifying Depression
Depression, like most mental illness runs the continuum of severity. It can be mild or major. It can last from weeks to months. It can involve anxiety symptoms as well. Depression is primarily characterized by sadness and/or loss of pleasure in nearly all activities. Additionally, there may be symptoms such as changes in appetite, sleep patterns, and psychomotor activity (changes in both mental and physical responsiveness and/or activity).

A depressed person may struggle with feelings of low self worth, recurrent thoughts of dying, as well as difficulty concentrating or making decisions. In children and adolescents the mood is often manifested as irritability rather than sadness. Some people may deny having feelings of sadness; instead they may report feeling numb or having no feelings at all.

Taking Action
First, it is important to look at how severely one’s functioning may be impaired. If the person’s level of functioning has been significantly impaired, i.e. they are having difficulty performing their daily routine, seek professional help immediately. A trip to the family doctor to rule out any medical conditions that might be causing the mood disorder is a good place to start.

Second, assess whether there have been any significant changes in circumstances, relationships etc. that may be contributing to the depression.

Third, if your loved one indicates they have a plan or intentions to harm themselves, take action immediately to get help. Call a mental health professional that you have been referred to by a reliable source or check your phone book for community mental health services. You can also call 1-800-784-2433 a suicide prevention hotline. If the threat is imminent, call 911.

Don’t Wait – Get Help
One of the biggest reasons people do not seek help is the shame they feel about having a mental illness. The reality is that our minds are vulnerable to illness just like our bodies. There is no shame in developing the flu or some other medical condition, so why is there with the mind? Those who avoid seeking help because of the shame they feel only languish longer than necessary.

How Counseling Can Help
A counselor can help a person gain perspective about their illness; resolve problems that may be contributing to the depression and assist the person in developing coping skills.

However, in addition to counseling, depending on the severity of the depression, medication may also be a treatment option. You can discuss this with your counselor, who could then refer you to a psychiatrist to prescribe and manage the necessary medication.

Relief is available for difficulties that plague our minds. It is truly the wise that seek out the help, wisdom and counsel of those whom God has equipped to facilitate the healing of the mind.

Belief and Success

2011-12-21T17:41:00.001-08:00

Life has different colors. It presents us with various problems from time to time. Sometimes the obstacles are small and sometimes they are so big, that one stops on the way. Looking and thinking about the obstacles of such magnitude, one starts believing that they are unsurmountable.

At this point in our life, what about asking ourselves few questions about our belief? What if someone tells you- believe in yourself, believe in your abilities, and believe that whatever may be the obstacle, you have the strength to overcome it. Believe and you will find a way.

Our beliefs

The focus is on belief. What do we believe about our abilities? Do we believe that we can overcome any obstacle? Do we believe that we have the ability? Do we have strong faith in our persistence? Do we know how to think and find out ways? Do we know how to pray and seek answers? Do we think that we are the winners? These are the questions that we should ask ourselves.

What is belief and how does it help us succeed?

Belief, a very strong belief in our ability gives us the strength and the positive attitude that helps us find out answers to every problem. If we believe that we will be able to find the solution, we will be excited to work towards it. If we doubt our ability, then we have already lost the war. Belief is a very strong medicine and it works in wonderful ways. Believe that you will be able to find out all solutions. Believe that you will overcome all problems. Believe that you will emerge successful. Belive that you are a winner. Believe that you deserve success. Believe that you have the mental and physical strngth to fight against all the odds. Believe. There can be no bigger magic than strong belief

Achieve Your Goals For Success Step By Step

2011-12-21T17:40:00.001-08:00

You have a dream! Now, how do you make it happen?

First, imagine that it is real. See every detail so clearly that you can reach out and touch it. You can feel the emotions of being there. For example, if you want a certain car, then what kind is it? What color is it? Imagine you are sitting in it like you will when it is brand new. How does it feel? How does it smell? Go for a drive in your car. If it's a convertible, drive with the top down! Experience the wind blowing in your face and through your hair. Hear the sounds around you. If you can take a real test drive in one, do that! Get a picture and post it where you will see it each day. Do this visualization several times a day until it becomes part of you. This action is important because your subconscious will help enable you to reach your goals to achieve your dream.

Next, break the big dream down into specific, measurable goals to get you there. If you are dreaming of something that costs a certain amount of money, like the car, you will set a date on when you want to have this money.

Once you have your date, then break your timeline down into segments. Perhaps you set the date one year from today. So the next step is to break that down into a goal for each month, then a goal for each week, then a goal for each day. It may be easier to start with the days, and then multiply out to the weeks and months.

Now that you know what your specific timeline is, you need to determine the specific actions you can take to reach each specific goal. If it is a money goal, like in the example above, you know how much money you need to put away each day. So now you need to figure out what actions you need to take each day in order to be able to do that.

If your goal is accomplishing a project, your timeline will be broken down into different steps you need to finish in order to get the whole project done. For example, if you are writing a book, you may need to do some research before you can write it. So the first major accomplishment on your way to that goal is to complete the research. Then you need to set a time to complete your basic outline. Then a time to complete each chapter. Then a time for editing. You can break each major step down into little steps that must be done each day in order to complete the entire book by your target date.

Now that you see what you will need to do each day in order to achieve your big goal, ask yourself if each day's task is reasonable. Be truthful. If you know you can do what is required each day, then you have your plan. If it will be very difficult to meet each day's requirement, then extend your timeline until you have something you know you can do every day. This way, you are setting yourself up for sure success!

It's just like the ancient philosopher said: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." No matter how big your dream is, if you break it down into baby steps that you can do each day, you will find your journey to success filled with the joy of achieving many goals.

Reaching your smaller goals will, indeed, assure you that you are on your way to reaching your dream! You will gain the confidence you need to continue and receive the desire you need to do whatever actions are required each day!

Celebrate achieving even the little goals, and enjoy your journey to your certain success!

Discover 10 Steps to Christian Success

2011-12-21T17:39:00.001-08:00

1) Spend time with Jesus Christ every single day. I cannot stress that enough for the success minded Christian. So often we spend our time working on things that have no bearing on our future christian success (nor any current success value) because we haven’t taken the time to focus and understand what Jesus Christ wants for our lives and our success.

2) Study the Word and discover what the top five (or six) christian success priorities in your life should be. For example, for you it might be: Christ, spouse, children, work, retirement. For another, it might be: Christ, a hobby, work, retirement, missions work. And for yet another: Christ, spouse, work, a hobby, physical fitness. For each of you, christian success priorities might be a little different in the number 4, 5, or (6) spots, but the first two or three are probably Christ and family. Once you know your success priorities, you are ready for step 3)

3) Develop a “progress plan” for each of your areas of top success priority. When you look at your life six months from now, especially in these areas of success priority, you should be further along and better adapted in each of these areas than you are today. Look back six months ago. Have you improved in each of your success priority areas? If not, you need to take action. Now!

4) Find a christian success mentor. This success mentor should be someone who can be concerned primarily for your personal growth in these areas of success priority. This should not be someone who is an “equal” with you---someone who also confides in you. This should be a “one-way” street. They should be able to listen to your success priorities, help you develop a game plan for meeting them, and be able to criticize you when you aren’t following your game plan. Because of that, they should probably not be someone with whom you are close emotionally, like a best friend or spouse. They should be a more neutral party, perhaps someone from a small group class at church or someone recommended to you by your pastor.

5) Break each of your success priorities down into individual goal steps. These “steps” should be small enough that you can focus on that one step at a time and they shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish individually, and yet when you have completed all of the steps you have gained significant ground in your priority for the given period, e.g. six months.

6) Write down all of your success priorities and your goal steps for accomplishing them. Leave room next to each goal step to write the date you started the goal step and the date you finished it. At the end of the six months (and during it too) you will be able to specifically track your progress.

7) Eliminate unnecessary things in your life which do not help you accomplish your success priorities. Try unplugging the TV three nights a week until your success priorities are accomplished. Have an “email free” day of the week. Take Sunday off from everything. If the telephone is an incessant nuisance, turn it off two nights a week.

8) Evaluate your rest…are you getting enough sleep? What can you do to get more sleep? What about recreation (non-TV)? Are you walking, hiking, reading, meeting with friends regularly? Are you spending enough time with your family without interruptions by the phone or work? Do what it takes to get rest and recreation and include the family in this step.

9) Evaluate your success regularly. There isn’t much that substitutes for assessing your progress last week and making goals for the coming week. Sure, some weeks you will fall short, but in others you will easily meet your personal success expectations. As you follow these 10 steps, setting success priorities, making goal steps, and following through on all of it will get easier.

10) Just do it! Start somewhere, start today! Don’t just close this page and forget all this! You took the time to read this; if you do nothing with it you will continue to fall short of your own personal expectations.

5 Keys to Success

2011-12-21T17:38:00.000-08:00

Treating people with respect wins trust and develops lasting relationships. Here’s what to do.

1) Be on time. In fact, arrive early for appointments and meetings. Plan time milestones in your daily schedule that tell you when to begin transferring to an appointment. That is, note when you will stop working on a task, begin collecting resource materials, and start traveling. Allow time for delays in travel, especially if driving. Consider: The fastest way to destroy people’s trust in you is to waste their time.

2) Communicate with others. Answer your phone and return phone calls. Listen carefully and completely when people talk to you. Show an interest in others before telling about yourself. When making phone calls devote all of your attention to what the other person is saying (instead of time sharing with other tasks, such as checking e-mail or playing computer games). Phone others only when you can devote full attention to what the other person is saying. Consider: ignoring people is rude and unprofessional.

3) Plan projects. For example, always prepare an agenda for meetings. Contact key participants before the meeting to hear their views, solicit suggestions for agenda items, and coach them on how to prepare for the meeting. Send agendas far enough before the meeting so that people have time to prepare. Consider: Bad meetings demonstrate an inability to provide leadership.

4) Be courteous. Find the good in everyone. Compliment others. Avoid starting or listening to gossip. Never ridicule, insult, or make fun of other people. Use positive words, always speaking about what you want and how you want things to be. Avoid suggesting motives or assigning judgments for other people’s actions and views. Consider: Discourtesy damages all relationships.

5) Help others. Be a mentor for newcomers. Share ideas. Teach people skills that will help them excel. Work with a spirit of abundance. Seek win/win results. Let others speak first, even on issues where you are an expert. Give first without attaching a receipt for return favors. Consider: Selfish people end up working harder.

“11 Great Reasons why Smiling makes us More Successful!”

2011-12-21T17:37:00.001-08:00

First: Our smile shows others people that we are friendly.
If a stranger approached you and gained eye contact with you and then treated you to a broad smile you will have a fairly good idea that they are being friendly and certainly mean you no harm.

By contrast we would find it far more difficult to offer trust to the stranger that wears a scowl or unfriendly face features.

Second: A smile can make people happy.
When someone treats you to a smile, even a stranger, you usually smile back. For that moment you enjoy a flash of positive communication without saying a word. As you walk through a crowed area such as a main street you can do this hundreds times in a very short period of time.

When you smile at someone who is not already smiling and they smile back you have brought a moment of happiness into their lives which, who knows, could last all day.

Third: Smiling is infectious.
When you spend a lot in the company of someone who smiles a lot you will soon discover that their smile starts to wear off on you. It is hard not to return a smile; most of us do it at a subliminal level without thinking.

Fourth: Smiling can make you popular.
Which type of people do you prefer? A person that has a tired and listless face. An expression that may reflect their inner thoughts of boredom and worry? Or, would you prefer someone who is always smiling and shows that they have an enthusiastic passion for life.

I think for the majority of us the choice would be obvious!

Fifth: Smiling can help you to make new friends
In the same way few of us would choice a miserable person for a friend. Lets face it we all want someone who is going to be bubbly and a happy and positive.

Sixth: A smile is usually returned
When someone smiles back at you it make you feel good inside. You have just made a short but very positive communication and possibly the first step in the process of getting to know or making friends with someone new.

Seventh: Smiling makes you positive and happy inside.
When you smile it is hard to feel unhappy, negative or sad in anyway. Smiling gives you enthusiasm and drive, it is also habit forming.

Eight: A smile makes you look far more attractive.
You don’t see many celebrities or media personalities that are not smiling because if you did it is fairly certain that their popularity would quickly start to drop!

Ninth: Smiling also helps make you memorable to others!
Have you noticed that smiling people are usually far more memorable than those that are not? It is fact that you are 3 time more likely to remember the person that is smiling over the one that is wearing a negative or neutral features.

Tenth: Most importantly, smiling is good for your health!!!
When you are smiling you find whatever you are doing far easier. It releases stress, worry and tension that you may have built up throughout the day. Long term, developing the smiling habit will be one of the smartest things that you can do to improve most aspects of your life.

Eleventh: The effects of smiling can last for hours
Whatever problems and challenges you have in your life, smiling temporary puts them and hold. For a while you forget the problems and become positive, and while you are in a positive state you have far more potential and power to advance and improve your life.

Lastly: Smiling is FREE!
You are never going to run short of smiles and will always have enough to go around. When you weigh up the positive points of smiling it is a no brainer decision to do far more smiling and share them with as many people as possible.

Keep smiling.

Bringing More Money Into Your Life: A Short Review

2011-12-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

Money, financial success, prosperity, abundance, all terms describing an area of life that is almost an obsession in modern society. It can also be of great concern to those pursuing self development, self actualization or various paths of self help. This article is to briefly touch on a few key points concerning this area of self development and hopefully give some direction to those wishing to pursue this further.

First of all, one of the characteristics of money relevant to today’s article, is that money is a multiplier. In other words, whatever your current overall condition of being is, if you suddenly have more money that condition will be amplified. If you are generally happy and handling your life in a positive manner, more money will help you in that direction. If you are unhappy, neurotic or otherwise dysfunctional, more money will also help you in that direction. This is why there are happy, well adjusted “poor” people and also the cliché of the miserable rich person. Which person is really “rich’ or “poor”? As the popular music group the Beatles sang “Can’t Buy Me Love”…. This shows us that the environment we create from what is inside us is a more powerful creator of our condition of reality than money!

Many of us are concerned about the lack of money. What can we say about this popular topic? Those who are working on dealing with this issue may want to check as to whether they have ever asked to specifically improve their financial condition. Who or what to ask are beyond the scope of this article, but the point needs to be noted.

Another area regarding the lack of money can be described as “abundance blockers”. It is not uncommon for a person to be double minded about money issues. While they consciously profess a desire to improve their financial condition, a part of the person, usually subconsciously, works against that desire. Financial success may be associated with such negatives as excessive work, less family time, more responsibility, shallowness, lack of spirituality, or hurting the people around you. Attitudes expressed by family members about finances, that you may not even agree with, may be unconsciously influencing your behavior with little awareness on your part. Various techniques to identify and remove such blockages can be sought out by the individual wishing to advance in this area or others. Some individuals can identify a life cycle that they have repeated multiple times. A typical cycle involves an individual advancing financially or other ways and then suddenly falling back to prior levels due to unconscious blockages or scripts they are acting out.

Another aspect of this subject to be aware of is the idea of “financial freedom”. Better finances are supposed to give you more freedom in life. Perhaps more freedom is not best for you at this time. Perhaps a lesser degree of freedom would help you to develop considerably beyond where you would be if you had financial freedom now. Something else to consider…
This article has attempted to reveal and review some of the relevant issues involved in bringing more money into your life and improving your finances. For a more comprehensive treatment of this self development topic and many more, see our FREE ebook “Manifesting Mindset” as described below.

Find Happiness By Giving Happiness.

2011-12-20T18:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard this quote?

“There is a wonderful, mystical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind- are always attained by giving them to someone else.”

It’s so true, isn’t it? I don’t know who it was who first said those wise words (if you do know then please tell me), but I have no doubt they lived a very happy life, because they have discovered one of the secrets to happiness.

In fact, the secret to success in all endeavours is found in this quote. No matter what you desire, give first and you will receive.

If you want to receive love, then give love. Not exclusively to one person, but to everyone and everything. Express love to your life, your circumstances, your friends and family, and even the people you pass in the street. If you love all, you will receive love back, and you’ll become the kind of person who attracts that special person, and those special relationships, and a life of blissful love.

If you want to get rich then don’t do it through the dog-eat-dog world of competition and win-lose deals. Give increased value to others. Wallace D. Wattles talks about this in his book Science Of Getting Rich better than anyone else I’ve come across (see the Resources Page on my website to get a free copy). You get rich by providing more in use-value than the cash-value you receive. You get rich through co-operation rather than competition. You get rich through providing win-win deals. You get rich through providing others with the opportunities to improve their own lives. Once again, give and you will receive so much more back.

The same applies to happiness. If you want to be happy, give happiness.

Turn your focus around. It’s not all about you. Look out into the world and find opportunities to give happiness.

James Matthew Barrie said, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

The great Mark Twain said, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

Give happiness and you will get happiness. It’s the only way.

Who can you make happy today?

Who can you go and see, just to hang out together?

Who can you phone to tell them you miss them?

It doesn’t take much. Smile to someone who is feeling down. Hold a door open for someone behind you. Compliment someone on their clothing. Thank someone for a job well done at work.

Happiness is so easy. Just give it to someone else, and you’ll find more than enough is magically left behind for you.

Give happiness. Be happy. And smile!

Do What Feels Good And Find Freedom

2011-12-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

A thought is an energy. Energy always wants to manifest itself.

Energy can not be stocked or blocked. It will get out anyway. If you do something to prevent your energy from flowing, it will find another way to express itself. If you do not follow your own energy, your intuition, if you swim against the stream of your own flow, energy will express itself in sickness, tiredness, depression, skin diseases, temper tantrums, agressiveness and other not so pleasant things.
So why not follow the road where your energy takes you? This is your road, your way!

Do you know the song “I did it my way”? Well, if you do things your way, if you dare being yourself, you will feel the energy.

As long as you try to be somebody else to please your parents, peers, husband, wife, boss, children, neighbours or whatever, your energy will be stuck.
Ok, you say, but won’t I become selfish, an outlaw, a social disaster by following my own road? No! You will become yourself. That is freedom : to be yourself.

See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. As long as you try to be someone else, you are walking around with a costume that is either too small or too big for you. You don’t feel comfortable in it. And what else is, you “stole” a costume that belongs to someone else! That means you are not at the right place doing the right thing with the right people! You took someone else’s place, someone else’s costume!

How can you know if you are at the right place, doing the right thing with the right people? There is a very simple criterion to find out : the questions stop in your mind! This spinning machine in your head that was torturing you for years has just stopped by itself! You can feel it : you feel good, everything is “right”, your talents are asked for and you have the greatest pleasure to offer them to the those around you. Everything falls at his place. Questions vanish and make place for peace.

As long as you torture yourself with all these questions, it means you still didn’t find your right spot on earth. You are doing an activity that somebody else should be doing. And your “job” is getting done by someone else who is not at his right place either! You see? It’s like a puzzle : if everyone is at his right place doing the thing he knows the best, everyone would be at peace, filled with energy and health, and everyone would live in wealth.

Go searching for your right place. The moment you stop being harassed by so many questions and you feel your energy flowing in your veins, you know this is it! You are on your road, your road to freedom. This IS freedom!

Look for it, go for it!

Anger and Hurt; another lonely place!

2011-12-20T18:09:00.000-08:00

Being human can really be challenging, to say the least. We feel emotions with every breath we take, every move we make. Some emotions are so sweet that we never want to lose that feeling. Other emotions cause us so much anger and hurt that we are paralyzed with pain.

Our minds use anger as a memory of a hurt that we have experienced. The memory is usually due to the fact that we neglected to express our hurt at the time for one reason or another. We tend to not show our anger or hurt because we do not want to cause a conflict or hurt another's feelings or ever admit those feelings. We also hang onto it because once we actually show we are angered, we are showing we are not perfect and that in fact we are human and can feel pain.

But if we continue to push away our feelings to protect our perfect selves, we become less real and less connected to people in our lives, without even realizing how far we are pushing them away.

Protecting another person from our hurts or anger is only imprisoning ourselves, so that they will never be able to reach us. If we do this long enough we cannot find happiness anywhere. When we are questioned why we are upset, we can not even find the beginning to the hurt we have hidden. The longer we hide our hurts and anger the more confusing they become. Things get all tangled up and if we dare try to explain, we are totally speaking another language.

Have you ever been hurt by someone and then they make it impossible for you to explain why you are angered? Those people can do a lot of damage, they are controllers. When you can identify that type of person, only then can you fight back and tell them, "please just shut up and listen". If you want to be unhappy then keep hanging onto that hurt. It will definitely drag your self-esteem to the bottom.

Hurt is a pain of the moment and it is happening right now. Its reason is right there in front of you. You must deal with it or you will only hide it and end up alone in your prison of loneliness. The longer you hold back, the more angry you become with you, for not acting out. That's when guilt moves right on in and takes over, making you want to get even with that person. Your negative thoughts are seeded now and nothing feels good. Is this a good thing? NOT!!!

It is definitely not easy to risk being called oversensitive, or told that you are just causing a fight, or they just laugh you off like you are a child. You may even find that this person doesn`t really care about you. Better to find that out asap, don`t you think?

These FEELINGS of hurt and anger have a way of taking over our lives. Is it not better to let it out now than to live in an unhappy life of silence? Tell someone how you feel, when you feel it, or you will only lock those FEELINGS up inside you and trust me, you will lose yourself.

You may even hurt the one you love, but honesty is the best way. I believe that with a true love you should be able to tell that person anything and yes even if you feel hurt or angered by them.

Love conquers anger and hurt. It battles jealousy and helps lift you to a higher self-esteem!

To be truly happy and not endure the prisons of negative emotions, we need to be heard. We need to be understood. We need to be forgiven. We also need to be loved and cared for.

And my sweet readers, on that note, I will leave you with another tip to strengthen

your courage to keep climbing that mountain to a better you!

Take responsibility for your life.

You have the power to make things better.

And most importantly, you have a choice!

Are You Worried? 4 Steps to Peace of Mind

2011-12-20T18:08:00.002-08:00

A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens."

I think I must believe that, because I worry a lot -- and about the most insignificant things. I worry about the big things, of course, like health, relationships, and finances. But I'm also liable to fret about anything and everything that finds its way into my consciousness.

Because I spend so much time on worry, I've decided to embrace it with a personal research project. Maybe you'd like to join me.

Here are two avenues I'm exploring:

1) I practice catching myself at it. "Hey, I'm worrying again." During a recent morning swim, I caught myself worrying 10 times during one lap! I'm not kidding. On rare days when I don't have anything to worry about, I find something. What I've learned is that worry is a mental habit. I can change habits; I've done it before. There's hope.

2) My second approach is to practice presence. By this I mean stopping my thoughts. In my workshops, I ring a bell to help participants practice centering. The quieter we are, the longer we hear the bell. There's a lovely moment when we all listen . . . until the ring is barely audible . . . then just a memory. I relish that moment of quiet before my thoughts re-engage. There is no future or past, just Now. No worrying thoughts -- no thoughts at all. It's a peaceful place, which is why I stretch the moment. I want to strengthen the connection to something greater than my worries.

3) When I told my good friend Rosie about my worry project, she told me about her approach, which is to do one of three things: decide to address the issue right then; if you can't do anything about it at the moment, give yourself a time to address it later; or decide that it is not important and let it go. In other words, act on it, file it or throw it away.

4) Finally, one of Rosie's favorite worry stoppers (and mine) is to sing. Connect with your self, your creativity, and the place where everything really is okay.

Awareness and acknowledgment are the keys to changing our habits. Morihei Ueshiba, who founded aikido and spoke of it as the Art of Peace, said we must "always practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner." Perhaps my research project on worry will help me to lighten up, smile, and live each day in such a way.

Are you worrying? Stop your thoughts for a moment. Listen to the sounds around you, pay attention, and be present to this key moment. And smile . . . for no reason. You may find that's the best reason of all.

Be Happy! Do Your Duty Happily without Attachment to its Results

2011-12-20T18:08:00.001-08:00

Happiness is not living in a fool’s paradise. It is not living in oneself oblivious of outside world. Life is not a bed of roses. Here one has to struggle and fight for justice. All our actions are with a view to some results. But often we fail to achieve that result. Sometime we get even opposite results than our expectations. For example, when we do a good turn to somebody and instead of being grateful to use the person accuses us. Failure in achieving our goal often leads us to unhappiness.

What is the solution to it? Gita, the Hindu religious and philosophical text, which is perhaps the only religious book in the world that was delivered amidst battlefield, has a beautiful solution. It says,

‘You have right to action only, never to its results; never be attached to the results of your actions; but don’t take to inaction also.’— Gita (2.47)

How beautiful and unique!

In essence it teaches us that one should do one's duty without being unduly concerned about its results. It does not mean that one should do whatever comes to one's fancy without regard to its consequences. In fact, duty means prescribed duty. Its results cannot be undesirable. But the action may result in success or failure. We should not be unduly concerned with this. The cause of all unhappiness is thwarted desires. This does not teach us to be indifferent to the results of our actions and do them indifferently. It teaches us to do our best. If then the results are not as we had expected, we should have faith in God.

Mind you, all this preaching about detachment from the results of one’s action is being taught at the battle field of Mahabharat when a great war is just to be fought. This war is between cousin brothers, and near relatives are fighting on the opposing sides. Arjun has said that he did not want to fight a war in which he has to kill not only near relatives but elders and teachers. Krishna is trying to tell him that it is his duty to fight. The reward is a great kingdom. Yet Krishna is talking of fighting a war at the cost of dying or killing one’s near and dear, and yet doing so without attachment to its results!

Yet, if you come to think of it, it is the best theory about life. Attachment brings uncertainty, worry, and tension. In fact, this non-attachment to the results is very psychological too. Too much worry about the results of our actions affects the latter negatively.

BE HAPPY!

Be Happy! One of the Greatest Sources of Happiness—Nature

2011-12-20T18:06:00.000-08:00

Nature is one of the greatest sources of happiness. In fact, humans had lived in the lap of nature for millions of years and their stay in modern cities is comparably very very short. Still now majority of them lives in close proximity to nature. In fact, human race is dependent upon nature for its very survival (plants recycle carbon dioxide into oxygen; our food is a product of nature; and we can survive under a very limited range of variables of nature like temperature, etc.)

Nature is all free! It is there for everybody to stand and stare and derive happiness and solace from. It does not distinguish between rich and poor, strong and weak, man and woman. Silvery sun is free, golden moon is free, cool breeze, warm seashore, imposing mountains, smooth flowing rivers, dark and inviting forests, all are free.

It is free, not because it is cheap, but it is rather priceless.

How much would it cost to make only an artificial island with rivers, forests, mountains, and surrounding ocean?

Billion dollars, zillion dollars?

Can one make it? And if one can and afford, will he give it to humanity free to enjoy? Will he not charge some entrance fees? How much?

When we see the moon, we see it in its entirety, no matter how many millions of people are seeing it at the same time. Has God made a separate moon for each of us, or is it only one moon which each of us somehow sees as his own individual moon? And similarly, the sky, the sun, the ocean, rain and sunshine, all are there for us to possess fully. Each can stare at the sky and claim all of it for his or her happiness. It is all his or her.

Nature understands your moods. If you are sad, it is also sad with you. But it does not make you sadder. It does not lead you to further despair. It applies gentle balm to your wounds. It sits besides you like a mother, spouse, brother or sister, or a friend and embraces you, talks to you, listens to you patiently, empathizes with you. Slowly it lifts your spirits, makes you to see your little woes, worries, and wounds in the right perspective of infinite time and space. You smile; you laugh; and you are happy again!

I am sure, you are keeping your money in the bank and this bank balance gives pleasure and happiness. Even when this money is lying idle or tied down in investments. Sometimes it is money just on paper, as, for example, the value of shares and bonds. When you need something, you withdraw the money and exchange it for some pleasure and happiness. Well, all this is good.

Yet do you realize that infinite beauty and happiness is lying around you in the form of nature?

Do you appreciate this fact and draw happiness out of it?

BE HAPPY!

“7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier”

2011-12-17T16:42:00.000-08:00

All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.

3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

"Secrets of a Positive Attitude"

2011-12-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

Greetings self help reader,

Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse
or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

Much continued positive attitude success,

The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"

"The Inside is What Counts"

2011-12-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

Greetings self-help readers,

This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.

Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawl I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.

Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.

Much continued positive attitude success,

The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"

7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile

2011-12-17T16:38:00.000-08:00

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face? Maybe make their day a little bit brighter? It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part. In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing. You won't know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to put smiles on their faces.

1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!

2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal. You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.

3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.

4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of "adult time" without worrying about the children. Don't wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.

5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.

6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity. Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles. You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked. You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.

7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day. The list of those that you come in contact with is endless. Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.

I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone's face, but there is one more way that can't be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!

20 Ways To Make Someone Smile

2011-12-17T16:36:00.000-08:00

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face today? Maybe make their day a little better. It won't cost you a single penny or much time to do just that. And because smiling is contagious, it probably won't just be one person you make smile today.

Here are 20 ways to turn that frown upside down.

1. Send some flowers to your partner at work.
2. Compliment a friend or work colleague on their appearance.
3. Donate something to charity.
4. Take a friend out to lunch.
5. Let someone know you miss them.
6. Make a surprise telephone call to your partner at work, just to say hi.
7. Hold a door open for someone walking behind you.
8. Hug your partner for no reason.
9. Leave a joke on a friends answer machine.
10. Send a card to a friend letting them know what a good friend they are.
11. Give up your seat on the train to someone when there aren't any left.
12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping.
14. When it's raining, plan an indoor picnic with your children.
15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it.
16. Send someone an unusual and unexpected gift like chocolate, flowers or sex toys.
17. Tell your child you're proud of them.
18. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner one night, especially if they normally do the cooking.
20. Tell your partner you love them.

Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile.

Here are 5 more facts about smiling.

1. Women smile more than men.
2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better.
3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others.
4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness.
5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person.

Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks.

It Costs Nothing To Smile

2011-12-15T21:32:00.002-08:00

How to Find Your Real Self Again

2011-12-15T21:32:00.001-08:00

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us.

But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside.

And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.

If you’re ready to get re-acquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 5 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.

Quiet the noise in your head.
You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.

Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways.
In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish the healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.”

Listen to your heart.
Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.

Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal.
What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation - as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.

A person you can know and love - you! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that's what you're really looking for, isn't it?

Are You Worried? 4 Steps to Peace of Mind

2011-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

Be Happy! There is Great Happiness in Human-Made Things

2011-12-13T22:18:00.000-08:00

God created the world. Humans in their own insignificant way are also creating things. The urge to create is inborn in human beings. God created the world for the happiness of humankind. Humans are creating things for their happiness, enjoyment, comfort, and survival. The common thread in all human made things is happiness.

There is a vast field of music and art and literature. One can devote one's entire life to any of them and be supremely happy. Humans have made some things expressly for happiness—games and sports, food and drinks, TV and motorcars, ships, and planes. And, of course, there is money and all the things and services one could buy with it.

A single genre of literature, a single instrument of music, a single school of dancing, is enough to fill us with happiness. We know of persons who have made a single aspect of the world their passion and devoted their entire life to it and derived success and happiness out of it. It may be bird watching, white water rafting, tennis, football, poetry, or films. In fact life is too short to enjoy all the happiness it offers to us through all its aspects. The problem is not that there is not enough of happiness in the world. But it is the opposite. There is too much of it.

Fine arts, whether it is poetry or prose, fiction or non-fiction, painting, music, or dance, has the power to engross us and make us infinitely happy. In fact, one may live in the world of fine arts and be ever happy. I am perfectly happy sitting under a quiet bower beside a calm river under the serene sky with a book in hand, or lying in the bed under a cozy quilt on a rainy day listening to great classics.

Take for example, literature. It gives mental pleasure that is superior to the worldly pleasure. It does not require external favourable conditions, except a book. There are many books in the world that I consider everybody must read. It is not necessary that one reads only the best or the most serious books only. One can take occasional bad book with good books. As a starter, I would recommend that you go to your neighborhood library, and get a good book according to your taste. It need not necessarily be serious literature. Get a detective novel or romance book or even comics. In the evening cozily settle down in the bed or sofa and read. May be next week read another book. Once the habit is formed try to read serious literature. Make reading a life long habit.

I find sports a great source of happiness. You derive great happiness and peace of mind playing any game. You also get exercise which is good for your body. But there is another benefit. While you are playing your mind is far away from worldly problems. You don’t think of them while you play. I believe that playing is a sort of meditation.

“The secret of happiness is this: let your interest be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile”—Bertrand Russell.

BE HAPPY!

Be Happy! Why Worry?

2011-12-13T22:17:00.000-08:00

Worry is a silent killer. It is like a slow poison. It is a chronic illness. In fact, it is an illness which is many fold dreadful than the physical illnesses. Worry not only affects our body but our mind too.

If you think seriously, you would find that it is really no use worrying about anything. It is really foolish to worry about past or future. Nobody can change the past. Whatever has happened has happened. Why worry? How can something that has yet not come to pass affect us? How are we so certain that the future is so bleak? Things may turn out well. Why worry then? Worrying just tires us and diminishes our capacity of clear thinking and planning. It promotes negative thinking. Instead of worrying we should use positive affirmations and resolutions.

If worry could solve the problem, everybody would worry as much as possible. Problem solving requires clear thinking and planning. But worry makes us incapable of clear thinking and planning. Many things, if they are going to happen, will happen regardless of our worry. If it is going to rain, it will.

We worry for small things. The worst-case scenario may not even be bad enough to worry. You have made your boss angry. You worry that he may fire you. What of it? That is not the end of the world. You are still alive. Perhaps you would get a better job. You dread to go to the office next day. You think of sending in your resignation letter. Worrying you reach office. The boss calls you. He apologizes. It was his mistake!

Not only we should not worry about little things, but we should also not worry about seemingly big things. The things that seem today very big and important will seem trifle tomorrow. In your student life you must have worried for days about the wrong answer you gave, even though you knew the right answer, to an objective type of question carrying just half mark. How much you worried about a dress on a special occasion, meeting a boy or girl whom you fancied, or the change of residence of a friend’s family? Do these matter a bit today? Why worry about spilled milk, or a broken glass, or a missed bus?

Of course, no body worries for the sake of worrying. Worry just comes into mind and then never leaves. But many people never worry. It seems that worrying is a sort of bad habit. As all bad habits the habit of worrying is also difficult to get rid of. So, in the first instance, never make worrying a habit. Secondly, try to divert your mind. Think of positive things. Get busy with some physical activity. Keep yourself away from people who are habitually worrying type and who always see the negative side of a thing.

Instead of useless worrying, one should take positive action—

BE HAPPY!

Motivation in life

2011-12-10T18:16:00.000-08:00

So many of us are demotivated to achieve anything. Such people are not enthusiastic about anything. They don't want to work towards any goal. Nothing motivates them to work. Why is it so? Why many of us are not motivated? What is wrong?

We think in different ways and our thinking is decided by many factors. Some are known and some are unknown. The known factors are - thinking, circumstances, early upbringing, living style, culture, family support, friends, own intelligence etc. Our thoughts and our mental makeup is also decided by many factors that are yet not known. Two persons of similar upbringing may be facing similar situation, but react in opposite ways? there are so many whys about the human mind that it is very difficult to determine about what may happen.

Coming back to the central question - why are some of us totally demotivated? There is no easy answer. Can anything be done to propel such people towards work? Can one do anything to make them enthusiastitic about anything, so that they begin working towards it?

Take your own example. You are motivated to do one thing, but totally demotivated by something else. A mathematician may get very excited looking at a Math problem, but remain unaffected by the greatest pieces of music? Why? The musician acts exactly opposite, or may get equally excited by maths problem and music. Why? Our mind is a complex structure, about which we ourselves don't know much. How many of us can claim to know about their own mind? They may know about thier abilities and disabilities, their likes and dislikes, etc. but can they predict about their own reaction in a situation? very difficult.

One has to find one's own answers in such situations. One has to reflect himself/herself and decide about the action that can be taken to break the unmotivated state. Friends, family and even medical science can help one to a certain extent, but the final destination has to be reached by the person on his/her own.

If at anytime, you notice that a friend of yours is getting demotivated about life, try to inspire him/her as much as you can. Even if you are physically away from your friend you can send him inspirational ecards and tell him to download motivational screensavers and wallpapers. So motivate everyone who needs the boost.

How Much Can You Handle?

2011-12-10T18:15:00.000-08:00

I was talking to one of my friends just a few days ago, and she got me thinking.

She was telling me about all the problems in her life and how bad she was feeling and that it seemed that the universe just kept piling problem after problem after problem on her and she felt she was going to snap any day.

Yet she hasn’t yet, and is still going strong, coping with it all. In fact, it’s not starting to ease off and get better.

This made me think. I had gone through periods in my life where I thought the universe was ganging up against me and trying to wear me into the ground. Yet I got through it all. I remember in one of my worst times, a close friend of mine had a stroke and I remember visiting her in hospital and thinking, “How is she coping? I could never cope with that.”

Then one night whilst watching the Discovery channel I put two and two together and got forty two.

I love Archaeology, and living in England we are literally swimming in it. In this particular show they were recreating how Iron Age man would have made a sword.

The blacksmith, when asked why he was heating and then cooling the blade said something very similar to this, “This process is called tempering. It’s where you stress the metal in order to make it stronger.”

As you can imagine, I perked up at this and realisation dawned upon me.

The Blacksmith deliberately stresses the blade of a sword so he can make it stronger.

Perhaps it is the same in life?

I then started to review some of the stress points that I had had in my life, and then I realised that it was true. If I hadn’t have had these stresses then I would not be as strong as I am. I wouldn’t be the person I am if it wasn’t for these “bad” episodes in my life.

I began phoning around my friends, and asking them questions about this and realised it was true for them.

We go through all sorts of trials in our life because we are being tempered; made stronger for our purpose in life. I can now look back at many of the once negative events in my life and see how they have made me stronger and created the person I am today.

Another thing I realised whilst interviewing these people was that we are never given more than we can handle. I couldn’t handle the stroke, yet my friend could. Perhaps she couldn’t have handled some of the things in my life.

You will undoubtedly have stresses in your life, but instead of fighting them, embrace them as they are making you stronger. Understand too that you are never given more than you can handle, so that “insurmountable” challenge you are facing is in fact something you can handle and overcome … maybe just with a change of perspective.

Hold on to your Dreams

2011-12-10T18:13:00.000-08:00

How many times have you abandoned an idea, project or dream
because someone made a disparaging remark or rolled their
eyes when you told them about it?

Relinquishing your dreams

All too frequently we allow others to dictate what is good,
right or possible. We allow them to steal our dreams. Notice
I use the word "allow." No one can put you down, stomp on
your dream, or kill an idea of yours unless you allow them
to.

Consider that:

The movie Star Wars was rejected by every movie studio in
Hollywood before 20th Century Fox finally produced it. It
went on to be one of the largest-grossing movies in film
history.

As a child, Sylvester Stallone was frequently beaten by
his father and told he had no brains. He grew up an unhappy
loner. He floated in and out of schools. An advisor at
Drexel University told him that based on his aptitude tests
he should pursue a career as an elevator repair person. It's
not a bad profession but it's certainly not where "Rocky"
ended up!

Einstein was criticized for not wearing socks or cutting
his hair. He didn't speak until he was four, and didn't read
until he was seven. One observer noted, "He could be
mentally retarded".

An expert said of Vince Lombardi:"He possesses minimal
football knowledge. Lacks motivation. . .

Beethoven handled the violin awkwardly and preferred
playing his own compositions instead of improving his
technique. His teacher proclaimed him hopeless as a
composer.

Walt Disney was fired from his job as a newspaper editor
for lack of ideas. He also went bankrupt several times
before he created Disneyland.

Henry Ford failed and went broke 5 times before he finally
succeeded.

Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women, was
encouraged to find work as a servant or seamstress. She
would certainly never be a writer.

In 1944, the director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency
told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker (Marilyn Monroe),
"You'd better learn secretarial work, or else get married."

It Takes Courage

So what are your ideas? Your thoughts? Your dreams? Your
plans?

It doesn’t matter if anyone supports what you want to do.
The important thing is for YOU to believe. For YOU to ignore
the people who say you can't do it - and DO IT ANYWAY! It
takes courage. It takes persistence. It takes believing in
the "voice inside" when no one else does. Ideas, dreams and
visions are planted within you because you have the ability
to make them happen. You’ll learn, grow, scramble, fail, and
get back up again! The important thing is to simply never
give up. The people I mentioned earlier never gave up - and
they made great things happen!

Three Inspirations for Happiness

2011-12-09T18:04:00.000-08:00

The following three inspirations were adapted from A Daily Dose of Happiness, and they represent three key ways to increase our happiness.

1. FORGIVING FOR HAPPINESS

We like to think we are better than our friends below us in the food chain, such as the octopus and the snail. After all, we have love. We feel happiness. We have empathy. We have a conscience. We can reason.

We can also hold onto grudges.

Grudges are, in fact, prickly little creatures that worm their way into our hearts. Holding onto them is a self-defeating exercise.

Fortunately, forgiveness is also uniquely human. Forgiveness cleanses the spirit. Forgiveness let's us get on with enjoying our lives instead of being preoccupied with someone else's. Forgiveness opens the door to happiness.

2. SUPPORTING FOR HAPPINESS

When things seem to be very bleak, it does not take much to lift someone's spirits. Sometimes all it takes is to let somebody know they are not alone.

That is why it is so important to smile at people, especially if they look down. And if you know what is weighing the person down, let them know they are not alone. Don't go burdening them with all your miseries, but let them know you have been there.

Guess what? You will feel happiness for having helped them, too.

3. ACCEPTING FOR HAPPINESS

There is no such thing as happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Too many people just don't know how to make peace with themselves.

Peace begins with acceptance. Whether we agree with everything we do (like the environmentalist who sometimes throws out a recyclable container), it is important to accept what we do.

Do we always make the best choices? No. But they are the choices we make.

Do we always treat people with the most respect? No. But it is how we treat people.

Can we improve? Yes, and we should. But that is a project for the future. First we must accept who we are now, rather than condemning ourselves. Then we can move to improve the person we will be tomorrow. Both acceptance today and improvements tomorrow will increase our happiness.

Love Is The Answer

2011-12-09T18:03:00.000-08:00

Life Happiness

2011-12-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

Is it really possible to attain a lifetime of happiness or is this just some dumb dream that we all have from time to time – well I can’t promise you a lifetime of happiness each and every day of your life – JUST MOST DAYS.

Now if someone had told me that a few years ago I would have quickly made my apologies and run well away from them – they could have been aliens from another planet trying to capture me with their crazy ideas, but then are those ideas so crazy after all?

I had lived a pretty average life just like the majority of us – nothing really spectacular had happened – I left school, went to college, got a job, got married, had children, went to work to provide for us all, took my holiday entitlements and repeated the same sequence of events and activities each year. Nothing wrong with that I hear you say and OK that’s how we all live so what’s wrong with that? – right? – well NO actually.

How many times have we looked at our lives and just wondered what it was all about and was there anything else- perhaps a meaning and a purpose to life – that’s made all the more important when you’ve become a raving alcoholic like I was and was living in a mobile home on my own after a separation from my wife and children.

What happened on that December day in 2002 was nothing short of a modern day miracle and even now, writing this, the hairs on my arms stand up as I still can’t quite believe what has happened – not only am I back reunited with my wife and children and more in love than I ever was before I’ve never touched either a drink or a cigarette since that day and even more astounding have never had the urge or desire for either one of them since.

I have never enjoyed life so much as this and the buzz I STILL get, almost 3 years later just gets better and better.

I am still so overwhelmed by what happened to me and so wanted to share this with the world that I wrote my book in the hope and anticipation that it can have the same dramatic affect on your life that it did on mine and that you in turn can have the same effect on theirs – now what a legacy that would be to leave mankind.

A recent testimonial, exerts of which are included below, show just why I want this book to reach and touch people who are looking for what I’ve found.

I LAVISHED your book. My life was in shambles; my wife had divorced me and tonight I was in such a state of despair that I had rung my Mother to tell her that suicide was my only option - after reading your book I have a peace about me that I have not had since I was 19 and I'm 56 now. Thank you thank you for allowing God to speak through you to me - I now feel a complete relief from all the pain and misery I have known for the past 37 years and I thank you for saving my life - actually GOD SAVED MY LIFE but you threw me the life preserver - may God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.

Finding Happiness in Your Treasure Chest

2011-12-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

If you haven’t been able to find a lot of happiness in your life, maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. Our level of happiness is based on our thoughts and our thoughts are a reflection of what’s in our minds. We can begin the quest for happiness by separating our memories into three separate chests.

'The Treasure Chest' of the mind is where we put our most cherished memories. We open this chest when looking for happiness, comfort and contentment.

'The Hope Chest' of our mind is for our goals and dreams of tomorrow. As each is fulfilled it is then moved to our Treasure Chest.

'The Dumpster Chest' of the mind is for letting go of the hurts and trash of yesterday. Once in this chest they are dumped, to be forever let go. Once these memories are put in the Dumpster Chest you should never go digging them out.

Our thoughts are a reflection on who we are. Happy people have happy thoughts. That doesn’t mean that the happy person never has an unhappy thought, it means the happy person knows how to move these unhappy thoughts into the Dumpster Chest and then forget about them.

If someone speaks of you and is not pleasant or someone acts and is not nice to you, it is not a reflection of you but a reflection of them. Do you think they are happy? What is in their Treasure Chest or Hope Chest that should have been put in their Dumpster Chest? How sad for them, but don’t let it affect you.
If you want to be happy, take the time to sit and think about your thoughts. Put the good ones in your Treasure Chest or Hope Chest and the bad ones in your Dumpster Chest. Focus only on your Treasure Chest and Hope Chest for they are now full of the jewels of hope and joy.

Happy people spend their effort adding to their Treasure and Hope chests while unhappy people spend their time sorting through the dumpster. If you are serious about finding happiness, leave the trash behind and become a treasure hunter.

Create More Romance In Your Life

2011-12-09T17:59:00.000-08:00

Ah, romance, that wonderful and exciting feeling, that most glorious intertwining of two hearts. So intense, such a high, but so fleeting, and so often for so many once gone never to return. But does it have to be that way? Can we intentionally create and sustain more romance in our lives?

Most folks profess to want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal unto itself, or at least high on the list of goals for their love relationships.

But if having romance in our committed love relationships is a highly prized goal, and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?

The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward, and is, to some significant degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily.

Listen: your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship.

True romance isn’t just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.

So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don’t love yourself first, you can’t truly love another.

And remember that it is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. By first creating romance within, you’ll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.

From Basics To Mastery

2011-12-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

For all of us, emotional intelligence encompasses five basic areas of mastery. They are:

- Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with.

- Being able to manage your emotional life without being hijacked by it -- not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by anger.

- Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals.

- Empathy -- reading other people's emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling.

- Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony - being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group, for example.

The scope of these skills means there is indeed room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Learning about emotional intelligence, learning about the tools for energy efficiency; that's only the beginning. It's like reading all the books on sailing and small boat sailing. You then have the theory mastered, but you have no hands-on practice. It's only with practice that we gain mastery of anything. That's true of our feelings and emotions too!

The scope of these skills means there is indeed room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Learning about emotional intelligence, learning about the tools for energy efficiency; that's only the beginning. It's like reading all the books on sailing and small boat sailing. You then have the theory mastered, but you have no hands-on practice. It's only with practice that we gain mastery of anything. That's true of our feelings and emotions too!

How do you address so many broad areas?

- Assessment tools are a great way to learn to identify your emotions

- Energy efficiency tools are invaluable in helping you tap into inner wisdom and resources to manage your emotions and understand what the best choices are when you are making life decisions.

- Persistence can be learned. In fact, providing challenges and hardships to children, to give them an opportunity to develop persistence and stick-to-itiveness, is intrinsic in many cultures. Goal-setting and the 6 Most- Important-Things List are just two tools you can apply immediately.

- Developing empathy is powerful in critical business situations like a sales call, a closing, your management style, etc. Using your energy efficiency tools will allow you to pay attention to your instincts in this area instead of second-guessing yourself.

- Once you learn to be the manager of your feelings, it becomes an easy habit to apply in any business or personal relationship.

Mastery of all the basics does not occur overnight. But with practice it comes very quickly - just like learning to ride a bicycle. Once you experience how it's 'supposed to work', how energy efficiency is 'supposed to feel', it's easier and easier to reestablish in a variety of circumstances. That's where mastery is achieved. That's where you and everyone in your business benefit from your mastery.

Effective Listening

2011-12-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

All too often we are far more enthusiastic about talking than we are listening. Yet it is so vital if we are to communicate effectively. Most break downs in relationships are caused because people talk at each other without really making contact. Unless someone hears what has been said including the subtext the words have little value.

When we are actively listened to we feel valued and are far more likely to engage in negotiation and compromise.

Listening is about far more than words. Watching facial expression and body language is often a far more accurate barometer than the words that are being used.
Nice things being said where the smile doesn’t reach the eyes is an obvious example.

To be an effective listener it is vital that you listen actively.

10 tips to becoming a more effective listener

Make eye contact.

Read the body language of the talker. Are they relaxed, anxious, angry? Extremes are easy to recognise but often the message is much more subtle

Mirror the talker’s body language- subtly, a gentle dance rather than a caricature.

Show that you are listening, nod, make appropriate responses

Ask relevant questions, ask them to clarify if you are not clear about their meaning

Summarise: so what you are saying is……….

Use open ended questions, the who, what, where, when,

Be careful of the tone of your voice when you respond or ask questions. It is all to easy to come across as judgemental or as an interrogator from the Spanish Inquisition

Use empathy. Acknowledge difficulties, but be careful not to fall into the trap of going into anecdotes from your experience. “ I sense that you are finding this rather difficult” rather than “Oh I know, it happened to me but mine was bigger, more difficult etc”

Take a real interest, if you are simply going through the motions the lack of sincerity will be obvious to others. Leave your ego behind, concentrate on the other person.

Developing Leadership Skills

2011-12-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

The first area that we look at is that of Personal Attributes. This is a blend of knowledge, expertise, and competencies, encapsulated in the approach, the behaviour, of the leader. In organisations of all sizes and in all sectors, public and private, these characteristics are key to effective leadership. The essential personal attributes are as follows.

Behaving Ethically, by: learning about the ethical issues and concerns that impact on your business sector; adopting a balanced, open-minded approach to the ethical concerns of others; considering the ethical issues and implications of all personal actions and organisational activity; raising and discussing ethical issues before proposing or agreeing to decisions; resisting pressures from the organisation or its partners to achieve objectives by unethical means.

Thinking Strategically, by: learning and understanding how the different functions, physical divisions, and layers, of the organisation should work together: understanding the complexities of, and the changes happening in, the external environment, and considering how the organisation can best respond the these; understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the organisation, and the opportunities and threats facing it; understanding how the strategic objectives are influenced by all the current and forecast influences that will impact on the organisation; understanding that the operational objectives and targets must be in line with and support the strategic objectives of the organisation; being aware of and responding to the behaviour of current and potential competitors.

Supporting Corporate Goals, by: helping to create and communicate a vision which can be understood and supported by people at all levels; helping others to understand and contribute to the strategic goals; giving visible personal support to the strategic direction and specific goals set by the organisation.

Communicating Effectively, by: being responsive to messages and signals from the internal and external environments; making effective use of communication channels from and to all levels within the organisation; pro-actively encourage the exchange of information within the organisation, and amongst suppliers, customers and partners; listening to others, including those with opposing views, carefully and thoughtfully; selecting personal communication styles that are appropriate to the different situations and audiences.

Gathering Information, by: establishing multiple channels and networks which generate a constant flow of information, from within and outside the organisation; regularly and consistently gathering, analysing, challenging, and using the information gathered.

Making Decisions, by: establishing a consistent approach to the analysis of information; drawing on personal experience and knowledge to identify current and potential problems; consider a range of solutions before selecting the final one; ensuring that the selected decision is feasible, achievable, and affordable; considering the impact of the decision on all stakeholders, at all levels, before approving implementation.

Developing Effective Teams, by: appreciating the contribution of others, at all levels in the organisation; ensuring that individuals and teams are kept informed of plans, developments and issues that will affect them; ensuring that individual and team development schemes are given appropriate priority; providing personal support for the implementation and maintenance of development activities for individuals and teams at all levels.

Behaving Assertively, by: understanding and responding to personal roles and responsibilities; adopting a leading role in initiating action and decision making; taking personal responsibility for decisions and actions; being properly prepared for involvement in activities and events; being confident and professional in dealing with change and challenges; refusing unreasonable demands; defending and protecting individuals and teams from unfair or discriminatory actions; remaining professional in manner at all times.

Concentrating On Results, by: contributing to the establishment of an organisational culture that demands high standards and high levels of performance; focusing on objectives and planned outcomes, at all times; dealing with issues and problems when they arise; planning and scheduling personal work and the work of others in ways which make best use of available resources; delegating appropriately; giving personal attention to the critical issues and events.

Managing Yourself, by: reflecting regularly on personal performance and progress; pro-actively asking for feedback on personal performance; changing personal behaviour in the light of feedback received; being responsible for your own personal development needs.

Presenting a Positive Image, by: adopting a leading role in initiating action and decision making; behaving in a professional manner at all times; being open-minded and responsive to the needs of others; visibly working towards personal and career development goals; adopting an ethical approach to all personal and organisational activity; being supportive to colleagues; demonstrating fairness and integrity at all times.

In Summary: these essential attributes are many, and difficult to maintain consistently, but they are the attributes needed by, and expected of, our business leaders. The size of the organisation, the business sector, whether public or private, is of no consequence. The leaders of all organisations should be role models for others, be visible champions of high standards of professional and ethical behaviour, be leaders who others in their organisations can be proud of, and be leaders that competitors are envious of. Not many of these characteristics are imbued in our leaders by default. They have to be learned, can be learned, and should then be continuously developed and enhanced. With these personal attributes in place, and being demonstrated in behaviour and actions, business leaders will be more effective and more successful.

Delivering A Speech? Maintain Eye Contact

2011-12-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

Body language is very important when delivering a speech.

Have you ever seen our great leaders fidget or make unnecessary movements while addressing the nation?

Since you are the center of attention while making the presentation, you should mind every move that you make so as not to bore or distract the people listening to your speech.

So you already have a speech prepared, you know the topic well and you are now standing in front of the audience.

They are in for a treat because you have prepared a great presentation, yet you also know that they have a very short attention span.

How would you keep them interested with what you are saying?

The answer is to maintain eye contact.

This is one public speaking technique that great speakers use when
addressing a large group of people.

Here are some tips on how you can use this "trick" to keep your audience interested while delivering a speech:

Once you have already started speaking and have delivered your
introduction, take a look at your audience.

Do not be nervous if you see one or two people frowning as you are not sure of exactly what they are thinking.

Instead of looking out for unfriendly or blank faces, search for the people who are smiling and nodding their heads.

Try to focus on this person for a couple of minutes and look him or her in the eye.

This way, you would have an immediate "friend" in the audience to whom you can look at and gain confidence from.

This will not just increase your confidence but also relax you in the course of your speech.

Gaze steadily at your audience, moving from one part of the room to
another. This way, you would immediately grasp their attention.

Never read your speech. Just make an outline of the important points that you can expand on.

If you have visuals, do not read the bullet points word for word as this might imply that your audience cannot read that themselves.

With this, you are instantly creating a "bond" with your audience as a
speaker since you do not have to keep on looking at your notes through the course of your speech.

The key to delivering a great speech is to just breathe, relax and make eye to eye contact with your audience.

Thus, you are not just making a physical connection with them but you are also ensured that you come out as a sincere speaker who wants to inform and interact with the audience through your speech.

Audiences Are Your Friend

2011-12-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

For the rank amateur to the ignorant professional, audiences create the same effect no matter how small they are to a speaker. Fear and anxiety.

From a single person to a crowd as big as the fans in the Super Bowl, speaking in front of a serious listening audience is the true test and baptism of fire.

Despite this, audiences are predictable. Audiences listen to you because they want to learn something from the speaker.

Following this logic, the speaker would do well to follow the strategy of making it informative as well as interesting to listeners to see your speech through till the end.

Here are some tips on how you can have the audience listen in rapt attention.

1. Speak according to the listeners’ interests. It is always a good idea to find out what the crowd you are speaking to is interested in. For example, if you have more teenagers in the crowd, you don’t really want to talk about your subject in a way that bores them, like good education. Other aspects to consider would be the local culture, age, sports, religious inclinations, etc. Talk about what’s important to them, something they can easily relate to without a stretch of imagination.

2. Praise the audience. Audiences are human too, and each and every one of them has a need to be acknowledged as much as you want to be acknowledged for speaking well in front of them. There is only one requirement for this maxim, that your praise be one hundred percent sincere. Anything less and you’ll have resentment in your hands.

3. Connect with the audience. Find a common thread that makes the audience relate to you, and you’ll find that the speech will come through really well. Finding a common thread humanizes you and the speech. It makes them want to listen to you because it may in some way be of great benefit to them.

4. Have the audience participate. Get somebody to come onstage and participate in a demonstration. Ask questions of the audience. Get feedback. Encourage them to walk up to the microphone and give you a piece of their mind. The point is to involve the audience, once more, making it more real to them. Taking them along with you in your experience.

5. Less you, more them. Play yourself down. Nobody, especially an audience, likes to be lectured to. This will cause resentment that will last a long time. Never feel that you are above them. The better way to think about your audience would be that you care about their welfare. Think of yourself as their best friend, and more often than not, this will hold you in good stead.

Looking Back to Move Forward

2011-12-06T18:01:00.001-08:00

Another year is over. Take a moment to reflect on the past years.Start with an honest evaluation of your accomplishments, successes and failures.

Welcome the new year with a celebration of the past. Whatever challenges you faced last year, you are here to face another year. You are inspired and ready to tackle new endeavours, explore new horizons and reach for the stars.

Looking back helps to evaluate what worked and what didn’t. Some issues seem to be replayed over and over. How many years has it been that you’ve promised to be more vigilant about your diet and exercise? What about the overuse of your credit card? How do you manage your time? What is it going to be this year? What are your priorities?

It’s all a matter of perspective. Somewhere in the past, you stumbled and for a while, you were spinning your wheels. Take heart, that is past. There is a deep
well of strength and courage within you. And you moved on.

No one passes through this life without knowing pain and heartache. Add to this regret over lost opportunities, wrong choices and wrong decisions. These do not define your life. It is the lessons learned from these , and the determination to do better. Reap the nuggets of precious insights from the muddle and move on.

How well do you take care of your mental, physical and spiritual self? If you believe in taking care of your mental and spiritual well-being, your physical
health will definitely reap the benefits. Do you allow yourself time alone to enjoy peace and quiet? Have you learned to say NO. Do you take time to appreciate the beauty , the bounty and the blessings of the universe?

Stress is the scourge of living in the fast lane and getting caught up in the pursuit of material success. Consider seriously the level of your stress over the past years and how it affects your health. Think about this- your stress level impacts on your relationships, your career, your family and your whole life.

Some pursue elusive dreams. How long has it been? Ask yourself. Perhaps it’s time to re-assess that dream. Times change. There are other avenues to pursue. Don’t get stuck chasing after something that loses its value, its luster as time moves on. Don’t let life pass you by.

Look back honestly, but kindly. And move on.

Innovation Is A State Of Mind

2011-12-06T18:00:00.000-08:00

You probably know the myth of innovation as a sudden flash of insight that comes from nowhere. We read about that "aha" moment, or that light bulb turning on in the mind of some inventor or innovator, and this is true to an extent. Einstein really did get flashes of insight while shaving in the morning. However, he was of course working on the particular problems he had insight into, and he didn't suddenly have ideas for new kitchen gadgets or movie plots.

Einsteins innovations, in other words, no matter how "sudden" the original ideas were, came from past and present mental work. It is like a singer who works at his craft for ten years and then becomes an "overnight success." Innovative people only have "sudden" new ideas because they have habitually worked and thought in certain ways for some time. If you want to become an innovative thinker, then, why not start cultivating those mental habits?

Mental Habits Lead To Innovation

Problems can be opportunities. "Problem" may have a negative connotations, such as being a hassle or stressful, but any problem can lead to an innovation that improves our lives. Not knowing the time lead to clocks small enough to put on our wrists. Nasty diseases lead to sanitary sewer systems. Start looking for opportunity in every problem. Even a mundane problem like not having enough storage space could lead to a new innovation. You may just build a plywood floor in the attic, but you could invent a new type of outdoor storage unit.

Innovation begins with understanding the key elements. Metal, wood or glass are not key elements of a door to an innovator. A way to get in, a way to keep others out - these are key elements. Begin with these, and soon you're imagining new ways to make a door. You could design a door that is opened by your voice (nice when your hands are full), or one that shuts and locks itself when anyone else approaches. Think of the key elements in things.

Attitude helps innovation. The creative problem-solving technique of concept-combination involves combining two ideas to see what new idea or product results. The crucial point is that you assume there will be a useful new idea. Starting with that assumption, your mind will work overtime to produce something. A shoe and a CD have nothing to do with each other, but it took just a minute to imagine a CD player with headphones that only plays the music correctly if a jogger maintains his ideal pace. When you assume there is something there you'll often find something.

Playfulness helps innovation. A playful mind is a creative mind, and while high IQ doesn't correlate with creativity, put it together with playfulness, and you have an Einstein. Remember, he imagined himself riding on a beam of light in order to arrive at his theory of relativity. Why not start playing with ideas and things, in your mind and in your surroundings. Innovation should be fun.

Innovation: The Life Blood Of Your Business

2011-12-06T17:58:00.002-08:00

If you’re running or managing a business and want it to be around for a long time, you need to spend a good part of your time innovating. That’s because, in a fast-moving world, where people expect things to get better and better, and cheaper and cheaper, innovation is your route to getting ahead of your competition.

Here are 7 ways to put new life blood into your organization through innovation.

1. Create An Innovative Climate. Goran Ekvall of Lund University in Sweden has defined three conditions needed for a climate of innovation. They are: trust, dynamism, and humour. One of Ekvall’s case studies was a Swedish newspaper where the team working on the women’s section consistently outperformed all the other teams. The reason? Quite simply, this group trusted one another, had a high level of energy and shared a common sense of humour.

2. Develop Washing-Up Creativity. According to the Roffey Park Management Institute, most flashes of inspiration come to people when they are away from work and not forcing their conscious brains to find solutions to their problems. For some, ideas come while mowing the lawn or taking the dog for a walk or playing golf or waiting on a railway station. For Isaac Newton, it was an apple on the head while sitting in the garden. For Archimedes, it was in the bath. For others it’s while doing the dishes; that’s why Roffey Park calls these flashes of insight: “washing-up creativity”.

3. Make New Connections. Making new connections between existing features of your product or service is a popular way to innovate. Akio Morita, chairman of Sony, said that he invented the Walkman because he wanted to listen to music while walking between shots on his golf course. His team simply put together two seemingly incompatible products: a tape recorder and a transistor radio.

4. Find Out What People Need. Necessity is a great spur to innovation. Take, for example, writing paper. The Chinese had already made paper from rags around the year 100 BC but because there was no need for it, nothing came of it. When it did reach Europe in the Middle Ages when writing was all the rage, the supply of rags and worn-out fabric soon dried up. That’s when a French naturalist made the discovery that wasps made their nests by chewing wood into a mash that dried in thin layers. Within 100 years, all paper was made using the idea of wood pulp.

5. Test, Test, Test. Product testing is the way most inventors and organizations go about innovation. It may not be the quickest route to success, but it is often the surest. Jonas Salk, for example, discovered the polio vaccine by spending most of his time testing and testing and continually finding out what didn’t work. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the filament light bulb, recorded 1300 experiments that were complete failures. But he was able to keep going because, as he said, he knew 1300 ways that it wasn’t going to work.

6. Adopt and Adapt. One relatively easy approach to innovation is to notice how others deal with problems and then adapt their solutions to your own. It’s known as “adapt and adopt”. It’s what watchmakers Swatch did when they realized that the more reliable their watches became, the less people needed to replace them. Their solution? Borrow an idea from the world of fashion and collections by turning their watches into desirable fashion accessories. Now people buy Swatch watches not just to tell the time but because it’s cool to do so.

7. Take Lessons From Nature. If you really want to be inventive, you can’t beat nature. The world of nature gives us an endless supply of prototypes to use in our own world. Take Velcro, for example. Velcro was patented by Georges de Mestral in 1950 after he returned from a hunting trip covered in tiny burrs that had attached themselves to his clothing by tiny overlapping hooks. De Mestral quickly realized that here was an ideal technique to fasten material together. A whole new way of doing things was suddenly invented.

The history of the world is the history of innovation. Thomas Kuhn called each acceptance of a new innovation a “paradigm shift”. For once a new innovation becomes accepted, the world has changed for ever and can never go back to the way it was.

Innovation: Can You Take Advantage Of It?

2011-12-06T17:58:00.001-08:00

Innovation is simply the foundation of new beginnings. Through innovation we can find new products, learn new techniques, offer better quality and a more simplistic style and even help to bring the dollar out a little farther. But, what many business owners do not realize is that you can use innovation to help move your business to the next level, one that is better for the customer an better for you. Can you ask for more than that?

There are several ways in which you can use innovation to help transform your business. For example, it can be as simple as having access to the right information so that you know what the latest and greatest is. Or, you can even hire on individuals and companies to help provide you with the tools that you need to take your business to the next step.

Think it is too difficult to manage on your own? Consider hiring on change management teams to help you complete the process. Or, simply hire on a group of creative people to manage innovation on your own. You would be amazed at the quality that can be improved as well as the efficiency of even the simplest of tasks when you call on innovation in some form.

It is challenging to get started. Innovation research will be needed, brainstorming will have to be done and ideas will have to be brought to the forefront. But, there are enormous resources available to everyone in every type of business out there. Books, websites, organizations and many more avenues are available to you. The bottom line even looks better when you use innovation that is targeted and accurate. Even though you are spending time, resources, and money on finding the answers, learning how to make it better for you will help you increase your business’s profit margin. Innovation changes every single day. Do you know what it can do for you, yet?

Forget Conventional Dream Interpretation: Learn to Cultivate Your Dreams Today!

2011-12-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite quotes of all time and I am sure many of you share my thoughts, is the speech by Martin Luther King at the civil rights march in Washington, 1963, which went like this:

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood..."

"I have a dream..." Indeed. Inspiring stuff. I want to discuss our dreams in a very practical way today.

I want to talk about how to cultivate your dreaming. It really is a tremendously valuable thing to do. I want to steer away from conventional dream interpretation and will explain why.

As of today, pay attention to your dreaming and your daydreaming. Dreams are important to us in many ways, because they do the following:

Firstly, when you dream you actively process information and feelings.

Secondly, dreams are always involving many senses, so the highly sensory experience is very rich. It is quite rare for us to use all our senses at once as we do when we dream.

Thirdly, dreams give us valuable information about what is going on in our lives, whether directly or more often in a disguised or symbolic form.

Fourthly, dreams are strongly sequenced, though often in a way which is emotionally rather than logically organised.

Finally, dreams draw upon a rich range of unconscious, associative, creative links between many kinds of information.

Some people remember their dreams; others tend to forget all but the most dramatic bits as soon as they wake. When you dream or daydream, take time to replay as much of it as you can in your mind before the events of the day overlay it. Relive the story of that dream. Remind yourself of the events, pictures, sensations and other sensory information it involved.

This dream was the product of your mind. Marvel at your own creativity! This is amazing stuff here; get excited by it.

If you get into the habit of asking yourself when you wake, “what did I dream?” you may at first only remember a few particularly strong feelings or vivid images: write them down and review it regularly. I actually used to write a dream journal and wrote everything down as soon as I opened my eyes each morning. It provided me with such inspiration when I required it.

Naturally, lots of you may want to start with dream interpretation straight away. Resist the urge for dream interpretation, ok?

Do your best not to assume that there is necessarily a single clear meaning which can be interpreted according to psychological theories or books on dream significance or dream interpretation. How can your dreams have the same meaning as someone else? Is your brain the same as that persons? For now, ease off the dream interpretation.

I have found that the most useful assumption to make about dreams is that they have some kind of significance for you, the dreamer: they come from your internal, unconscious mind’s storehouse of feelings, experiences and images, and are an active and useful way of processing that is quite different from – and just as useful as – the processing that belongs to the logical conscious part of your mind.

Often a strong feeling will be your first clue to the meaning a dream has for you: so note it, and wonder about it, but don’t try to rush to tie it down by conscious analysis. The real work of the dream is often done simply in the dreaming of it: the conscious mind does not always have to understand, and when it tries to translate dreams into its own terms it may be limiting it, just as poetry translated from another language usually loses something of its more subtle tapestry of meanings.

Think about the value of dreams.

Dreams demonstrate a different level of mental functioning from conscious, disciplined thought. When you pay attention to them, and even cultivate them, you are learning to become familiar with, to trust and to draw upon a fuller range of your own mental resources: in other words, you are using more of what you’ve got. Hey, this stuff is going to keep happening, so why not really use it.

The mind works both consciously and unconsciously. Conscious thought is formally taught in our education system. Its strength is its systematic and disciplined way of handling information. Its limitation is that it tends to be rule-bound and too narrow in its problem-solving approach.

The brain also processes information at an unconscious level: mostly, this is associative and depends on links, similarities and feelings. This processing produces dreams, as well as much of our other “creative” or “expressive” experience. That is why we are often surprised by the spontaneous connections we make or insights we have, and by our imaginative inspiration: it is not what we would have come up with consciously at all, yet it seems somehow completely “right”. This way of thinking works “laterally” – it expands, goes sideways and finds multiple avenues rather than just one.

We need both kinds of functioning if we are to make the most of our brain power. Logic and intuition, discipline and divergence, are all vital tools that enrich and enable us. But whereas we are used to working with the conscious mind, in part because we are aware of it and can monitor it as it works, many people are less at ease trusting and using the unconscious processes. Paying attention to your dreams, and deliberately cultivating daydreaming, are both ways of stretching yourself into this area.

So let us have a look at the value of deliberate daydreaming. Where dreams come unbidden, you may find it useful to deliberately evoke the conditions for daydreaming, if, like many people, you have not really valued the activity before now.

How is it valuable? Daydreaming brings us escape and relaxation; visions of the future that inspire and help us to bring about what we have dreamed of; solutions to apparently unsolvable problems; inventions and creative possibilities. Daydream states allow the unconscious, associative parts of the mind to work in their own playful and imaginative ways, bringing not only pleasure but results that our usual deliberate, attentive, rational thought does not. We need space in our lives for both ways of processing if we are to realise ourselves as fully as possible.

The key to daydreaming is to be in that right state. If you want to practice, please visit my website and download the free hypnosis session there, or learn self-hypnosis, read my book "The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis" or invest in the self-hypnosis masterclass audio programme, there is nothing else as good in the world today, really there isn’t. There is a kind of automatic abstractedness that goes along with daydreaming. Mostly it just seems to happen – but when you know about creating and changing states, you can choose to make it happen.

Here are some ways you can cultivate and work with your daydreams:

Firstly, notice when you have been daydreaming. Is there any pattern of circumstances that helps bring about your particular daydreaming state?

Some people find that repetitive, relatively automatic, activities such as jogging, ironing or walking create the right state. Perhaps it is a warm bath, swimming a few lengths, or sitting in the garden. Or it may be swaying to the movement of a train, staring into space, looking out of the window of a bus on the way to work, or going on a long drive.

Once you find what helps you daydream, use it and make space for it in your life on a regular basis, imagine that you are in that experience, recreate those circumstances inside of your mind. Let daydreaming come to you, and notice what kinds of windows it opens from our ordinary world into what other kinds of possibilities. Some of your best ideas and inspirations may come at these times.

Secondly, next time you have a decision to make, or a problem to solve, or a challenge to overcome, you can set up the circumstances so that you can trigger your daydreaming state – and allow yourself to explore your problem or decision in this way. When you have done so, make some notes of what you experienced and discovered. Add that to your conscious thinking on the subject: you now have much more information, and the advantage of having engaged more of your mental resources.

Thirdly, for today, forget dream interpretation. That is a conscious and limiting thing to do. Did I make myself clear? Forget conventional dream interpretation. For now use your dreams in personal ways to you.

Creative Solutions Using 'What If?'

2011-12-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

For the most creative solutions you need to get your mind looking in new directions. One of the most systematic ways to do this, is with a list of words, primarily adjectives, to create "what if?" scenarios. The process starts with the question, "what if it was..." and then you insert a word from the list. "It" in the question is the problem you're working on, or the current solution or situation.

Let's explain the process with an example or two.

Example one: You have is an unpleasant co-worker. You aren't sure how to deal with him, so you ask about the problem, "What if it was..." and insert from the list "smaller." How could you make the problem smaller? Spend less time with that person? Get reassigned?

"What if it was... fun?" makes you wonder if being annoying yourself might keep the other person away from you. "Closer" makes you wonder if this person might be nicer to you if they knew you better. You continue down the list and work with each word a bit to get new ideas, which you will look at more analytically later.

Example two: Your house is too crowded because you're running your business from it. You ask, "What if it was..." and insert from the word list, "smaller." Your house is already too small, but could the business be smaller? The word "divided" might give you the idea to keep the business in just one part of the house.

Since most words on the list won't help, you can go through the irrelevant ones quickly. But don't automatically dismiss them without a few seconds consideration. "What if it was hopeless?" may seem like a useless question, or it may make you realize that you just can't keep the business in the house any longer. Moving into a rented office might be the most profitable of your creative solutions.

The Creative Solutions Word List

Feel free to create your own list of words. You'll want to use adjectives, descriptive phrases, and any words that can change your perspective. Here is a short list to get you started:

What if it was... larger, smaller, farther away, closer, sooner, later, easier, more difficult, higher, fat, rich, short, black, certain, hopeless, newer, boring, casual, subtracted from, cheaper, common, divided, more interesting, extravagant, subtle, or fun?

Just as with most problem solving techniques, it's important to allow the ideas to flow without judging them initially. You don't want to stifle the creative process. Take notes, then evaluate your ideas later, when you have a page full of creative solutions.

Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness

2011-12-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of the time. Perhaps you have assumed that these people are just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Most of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Happy people are making specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. Happy people consciously choose to think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy people are unconsciously thinking and behaving in ways that create unhappiness.

Following are five of the specific choices that happy people make:

OPTIMISM

Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy people choose to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer. Happy people realize that their thinking is the beginning of a creative process that leads to manifestation. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in ways that manifest their dreams.

KINDNESS

Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how they treat themselves and others determines much of how they feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it. They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their happiness is the result.

FORGIVENESS

Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose to allow people their humanness and forgive them their hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take personally others’ uncaring behavior, they don’t get their feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take others’ behavior personally. Happy people recognize that another’s behavior is really about that other person, so they move into compassion toward themselves and others rather than into judgment.

ACCEPTANCE

Happy people realize what they can control and what they can’t. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the things they cannot change and changing the things they can. Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realize they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on what they can control – their own thinking and behavior. Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to happiness and inner peace.

GRATITUDE

Finally, happy people are consistently grateful for what they have, rather than complaining about what they don’t have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come their way and they frequently express gratitude for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the food they eat, the smile on a friend’s face, their ability to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs are often happy people because they focus on what they do have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they are missing out on.

If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that happiness is the result of your thinking and behavior, not the cause of it. If you choose to focus on becoming conscious of what thoughts and behavior make you feel happy, you can become a happy person – regardless of your present circumstances. Happiness does not just happen – it takes work!

Finding A Dream Dictionary

2011-12-04T18:07:00.000-08:00

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To keep up with the newest details, you should think about subscribing for an RSS feed about the subject of Dream Dictionary. A person can always be sure that doing research on this topic will sooner or later beget results. Our Dream Dictionary writing lists the most desirable and most appropriate subject matter on the internet.

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Easy Ways To A Better Life

2011-12-04T18:06:00.000-08:00

Want a better life? Big changes are difficult, and take time, but there are many easy steps you can take right now. Take many steps, even small ones, and pretty soon you're getting somewhere.

A Better Life Today

It's easy just to look, right? Start looking for specific ways to make your life better, and to improve yourself. Even if you don't accomplish anything immediately, you are preparing yourself. Thinking about change sets your mind and your motivation in motion.

You're not looking for an excuse to avoid difficult tasks, but you wouldn't expect to quit cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine and complaining all at once, right? Just make things better today, in any small way. Seeing results will motivate you for the more difficult steps. Consider some of the following simple actions.

1. Write down some things you'd like to change. This makes the possibility more real, and gets your mind working. Eventually you can make this "wish list" into real goals, with a specific plan.

2. Close your eyes and breath deeply through your nose, whenever you feel stressed. Stress is one of the biggest impediments to a better life. Simple stress-manangemnet techniques like this can help a lot, if you make them a habit.

3. List the good things you've got. This may seem trite,but a good mood makes life better. Ever buy a van and start seeing vans everywhere? The same thing happens when you buy an idea. Imagine how it will affect your frame of mind to start seeing good things everywhere.

I could go on, but I don't know what your goals and needs are. The point here is to get you thinking, and then taking whatever actions you can. If you thought about the whole process, you might never build a house, but it's easy to nail one board in place, right? (And then one more, and one more...)

Choosing Happiness

2011-12-04T18:04:00.000-08:00

Ever heard someone say,”…so-in-so is great, but I’m just not happy?” Or have you ever wondered why you just couldn’t seem to find happiness? Read on to learn how you can choose to be happy.

Happiness is something you have to “choose” to be. A person could have all the money in the world, and still be unable to acquire what it is they really want, and ultimately remain unhappy. A person could be surrounded by all their friends and loved ones, and still be lonely. And, a person could have to eat bugs to survive, in a cold, wet prison cell, and still be happy to eat those bugs, and happy to be alive. This person has gratefully accepted their surroundings, and has found some good or greater meaning in it, making the experience more pleasurable. This person chose to be happy with what they had, by being mindful of the moment, recognizing the potential it may have.

Getting into the habit of being happy is easy. The first step is learning to appreciate your blessings, seeing the good or greater meaning of things. This requires that you become more aware of your five senses. How else could the smell of freshly baked cookies cheer up your woefully dreary day? How else could the faint sound of your sleeping child’s breathing ease you into your own peaceful resting state? We need to use our senses to become more aware of our surroundings, and accept them. It’s then that we can change our surroundings to become more pleasing to us. This could include some small, but significant changes, like placing candles by the bathtub, or buying a special lamp for your reading area.

Scientific research suggests that colors play an important role in one’s moods. Light green and orange seem to make people feel happier, whereas red makes them feel hungry. Many people have been hiring interior decorators as part of their strategy for feeling better, as interior decorators have studied colors, patterns, layouts, etc., and they use these factors to create a comfortable living area, tailor-fit to your needs. Just remember to research your interior designer, and be frugal. The positive effect that redesign brings, needn’t be boggled down by guilt from over-doing it. The idea is to do things that make you feel good. It won’t make you feel good if you overspend, or overindulge. But it will make you feel good if you shopped around, and you got the best deal, completely fitting all your needs.

Again, awareness is the key to happiness. After you have become aware of yourself and surroundings, you can choose to be appreciative and happy.
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Alone But Not Lonely

2011-12-04T18:02:00.000-08:00

In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.

The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions.” It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.

It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”

We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?

Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.

Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today’s world.

Be Happy! Home is the Happiest Place to Live in

2011-12-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”—Thomas Jefferson.

The world may be a dreary, dreadful, and dangerous place to venture into. There may be cut-throat competition in which survival of the mean, cunning, and bully only is possible. It may not be a place for gentle, honest, and kind person like you. It is full of murderers, criminals, rapists, and swindlers. They are ready to snatch away the loaf of bread from your hand. You need a sanctuary from them. You need a place where there is love and care, understanding and compassion, give and take. You need somebody who could guide and protect you. You need somebody who could be equal partner in your joys and sorrows. You need somebody upon whom you could shower your love and care. You need a home and a family.

Parents sacrifice a lot and endure great hardships in up-bringing their children. They are selfless in their love and can even lay their lives for the protection of their children. A spouse is a life time partner in your days of sunshine and rain. Brothers and sisters are your friends and supporters. Your children are your life time fans who love you unconditionally. The love, care, and support of family is a great happiness. Blessed is the person who has got a family. And who amongst us has not got one? But we take family for granted. We don’t recognize it as a great source of happiness. The more happiness you give to your family the more you extract out of it.

You are born into a family and grow up within a family. A family not only provides comfort, enjoyment, and security, but it also gives emotional and spiritual bliss. In fact, one may find so much happiness within family that he or she may not need to search it outside it. The love and care of mother and father, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, wife or husband sustain us. Though love is one and the same yet the love of each is so different too. A family may extend beyond these immediate relations and may include grand parents, grand children, in-laws, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and other relatives.

Can all the money of the world buy the love and affection of one’s parents? Can one be happy without them? How much enjoyment and happiness they add to our life? Similar is the case with brothers and sisters. At a later stage of life husband or wife becomes practically the sole arbiter of our happiness. Man or woman’s happiness nearly entirely depends on his or her spouse. At a still later stage sons and daughters become a great source of happiness. Bertrand Russell said, ‘I have found the happiness of parenthood greater than any other that I have experienced.’ Family relations give happiness, but at the same time to be a relation also gives happiness. It is happiness unlimited to be a son, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a husband, and a wife.

When you kiss your child, don’t you get a kiss in return?

When you hug your sister, don’t you get a hug in return?

When you love your spouse, don’t you get love in return?

Be Happy! You have your family which loves you!

BE HAPPY!

Just Do It

2011-11-30T21:22:00.000-08:00

For several years now, I've been busy running the roads selling products to people I'll never see again. The two products I sold were walk-in bathtubs which sold for close to $13,000.00 to elderly people who had a hard time getting in and out of a bathtub and then commercial-grade windows which sold for close to $1,000/each window. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is the money I made has been here and gone. What happened while I was on the road driving over 1500 miles/week? There are few places a woman without a college education can earn over $1000/week except in direct sales or finding a niche over the internet. But how do you know where to start or what to do first? Well, I read an interesting article which motivated me to do something about it. This article was telling me to JUST DO IT. I remember hearing that statement many years ago in an A.L. Williams meeting. I even heard it last night when listening to a teleseminar with Les Brown, famed motivator when he was talking about how faith without works means nothing. So why do I have such a hard time "just doing it." Well, maybe it's just that I'm afraid I won't be successful.

My son, Brian, graduated from college five years ago. He majored in Art Education, but didn't like teaching like he thought he would. So, he went back to school and got Microsoft certified. Now, he drives a Mercedes and earns over $100,000 a year as a systems administrator. You know, that didn't come easy. After his Microsoft certification, he took a low-paying job with a computer firm which lead to a job with the school system (his art education helped him land that job). Anyway, at 29 he just did it.

While I was on the road, my partner, Rod, pursued his passion of working over the Internet. He learned it little by little. It didn't come easy. He now designs websites. His previous experience in the printing business and his artistic flare helped him. How could he accomplish that? He just did it. He can now design a website with links, connect a merchant account, place adwords with servers, etc. And me--my money has been here and gone. I was too busy making a living to learn, too tired and soon too burnt out.
When you find your true passion (whatever it is), just pursue it--just do it.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step--so just do it. A single step rings you closer to your desired goal, so just do it. On the internet, you will find a whole world at your fingertips.

There are people out there who can become your mentors. You may never meet them face to face. They may never hear you speak, but they will still be your mentor. I have just given you a billion dollar concept.

It is worth nothing, however, unless you take action. --Just Do it--So, what am I saying--you might be like me, you have very little to show for your past work except paid bills and the fact that you made yourself a living. But, I plan on making changes in my life. I plan on learning how to market on the internet this year. I plan on "just doing it." You'll never know unless you try. This one concept can make you a fortune and on the internet, your possibilities are endless.

Your future is limited only to your acquired knowledge and your imagination and action. You may have the desire but feel overwhelmed by the Internet, but DO NOT FEAR. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Thank you so much for your time. I hope I encouraged you to pursue your passion.

This concept may well be worth a billion dollars
http://www.internetwealthmethod.com
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Happiness: The Ultimate Birthright

2011-11-30T21:18:00.000-08:00

The key to happiness is both simple and complex. It is the sum total of more than 2,000 years of philosophy, psychology, speculation, and discussion about the meanings and sources of happiness. From Aristotle in 340 B.C. through to the modern thinkers, speakers, and writers of today, this key to happiness has hardly changed. It is the same for virtually all men and women in every country and all walks of life. The key to happiness is this: Dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.

YOUR HAPPINESS MUST COME FIRST

In Edmond Rostand’s Play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: “I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things.”

Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. However, most people are reluctant to use their own happiness as the standard by which to judge the events in their lives. This is primarily because we let others define or affect what brings us happiness. And we often believe it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make ourselves happy. This is nonsense.

Human beings are happiness-driven organisms. Everything we do in life is oriented toward maintaining and increasing our level of happiness. We are psychologically constructed so that it is impossible for us to be any other way without making ourselves mentally and emotionally ill. The fact is that you can’t give away to anyone else what you don’t have for yourself. Just as you can’t give money to the poor if you don’t have any, you can’t make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.

The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kinds of things that make you happy.

LET HAPPINESS BE YOUR GUIDE

Make happiness the organizing principle of your life. That is, compare every possible action and decision against your standard of happiness to see whether it would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all the problems in your life come from choices that you have made — or are currently making — that do not contribute to your happiness.

There will of course be countless times when you will have to do little things that don’t make you happy in pursuit of your larger happiness. However, as Earl Nightingale said, “Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” You feel really happy only when you are moving, stepby- step, toward the accomplishment of clearly defined goals that you feel will enhance the quality of your happiness.

Since you can’t be truly happy until you are clear about your inherent possibilities, it’s important that you take some time on a regular basis to analyze yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. There is an old saying, “Success leaves tracks.” You can look back on your life and identify who you really are and what you should be doing with your life. One of the best ways to do this is to constantly ask yourself this powerful question:

“WHAT ONE GREAT THING WOULD I DARE TO DREAM IF I KNEW I COULD NOT FAIL?rdquo;

Imagine that you are absolutely guaranteed success in the pursuit of a particular goal, big or small, shortterm or long-term. Imagine that you have all the money, all the time, all the education, all the contacts, all the resources, and everything else that you could possibly need to achieve any one big goal in life. What would it be? This is a very important question because when you remove the limitation from your thinking, you often get a very clear idea of exactly what you should be doing with your life. Your greatest dream is an indication of your natural abilities and of what is really important to you.

All successful men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their fortune could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, goal or purpose. Step-by-step realization of their ideal makes them genuinely happy.

LIFE’S 4 CATEGORIES

Dr. Viktor Frankl, who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning, said that you can divide the thing you do in life into four categories. The first category consists of the things that are hard to learn and hard to do. An example for many people is mathematics. Many of us struggled with math in school and still struggle with bookkeeping, accounting, financial statements, and tax returns as adults. If you find mathematics hard to learn and hard to do, this is the sort of activity for which you are clearly unsuited. No matter how much of it you do, or how good you get at it, you will never achieve any lasting satisfaction or happiness from it.

The next category consists of things that are hard to learn but easy to do. Riding a bicycle, driving a car, and tying your shoes are hard to learn but easy to do once you’ve practiced enough. These are seldom the sort of activities that cause you to feel terrific about yourself when you engage in them. They do not demand your best.

The third category consists of things that are easy to learn but hard to do. Physical labor falls into this category. Digging a ditch with a shovel and chopping wood with an ax are easy to learn but they are hard to do, and never get any easier.

The fourth category is the key. These are things that are easy to learn and easy to do. You seem to have a natural proclivity for them. When you are engaged in this sort of activity, time flies. The things that are easy for you to learn and do are the sort of things that you should be doing with your life. They indicate where your natural talents and abilities lie. Engaging in these activities with your whole heart, and committing yourself to become better and better, will give you all the joy, satisfaction, and happiness you could want in life.

HAPPINESS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT

Everyone has an area of excellence. Everyone has something that he or she can do in an outstanding fashion. It may take weeks, months, or even years for you to develop yourself in that area so that you can really perform in an extraordinary fashion, but you will be strongly attracted to that sort of activity from the beginning. You will enjoy reading about it and talking about it and thinking about it. You will find yourself admiring people who are outstanding in that area. You will look longingly at that field and wonder what it would be like to be in it and to be successful at it. That is very often your heart’s desire. That area of activity where you can become excellent is probably what you were put on this earth to do.

So resolve to persist until you succeed. The first part of courage is the resolve to launch in faith toward your objectives; the second part is your willingness to endure in the face of the inevitable disappointments and setbacks you will encounter on the road.

Happiness is not an accident. Happy people are those who deliberately do the things that invariably lead to happiness. Happy people are those who know what they want and then throw their whole hearts into using their unique talents and abilities to make a contribution to the world in the achievement of their goals.

You are put on this earth with a special purpose, programmed with unique talents and abilities that have not yet been fully tapped and utilized. When you focus all your energies on unlocking your true potential, you can claim your ultimate birthright: happiness

Bring Love Into Your Life

2011-11-24T18:07:00.000-08:00

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives. They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle for away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.
The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.
Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thiefs, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.
On the groundfloor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing. They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, groundfloor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts. Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone. They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the groundfloor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.
So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.

So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!

Move yourself up.

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed. Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!

Are you truly living the life you want to live?

2011-11-24T18:05:00.000-08:00

Some of the things people most desire to have, or to improve in their life are money, a loving relationship, a successful job, great health, nice house, and a new car. Most people just dream about these things, but never actually obtain them. What people don’t realize is that all of these things can be theirs through the power of manifestation

Manifesting ones desires is a science. There are laws that govern the process of materializing wishes seemingly out of nothing. Once these laws are complied with, anyone can make their dreams a reality. This may seem very unbelievable to some, but the truth is it’s very real.

The Law of Abundance- Everything you desire begins in your mind and it is the mind that brings these thoughts to life. Your outer state of being is the manifestation of your thought. Therefore, to obtain the things you desire, you have to first set your mind to it. Vital self-empowerment skills will help you mentally transform a thought into a material manifestation. You will learn how to change your expectations in order to change your life. We live in a Universe of abundance, although most others appear to view it as a Universe of scarcity. Thoughts such as others are more talented, more deserving, and more gifted than you only hinder you from living abundantly. If you are possess these same thoughts, don’t worry, there is hope for you! You can learn skills to activate self-actualizing power through these Laws to live with wealth, financial freedom, and success.

Abundance does not mean mere accumulation of material wealth. Happiness, peace of mind, harmony, optimal health, being in loving relationships, and having a strong sense of your True Self are also part of this universal abundance. This abundance comes into a person's life only when he facilitates its free flow from him and through him. There are also other ways to increase abundance in your life. Add time to your day, simplify, or make a difference in the world. For example, volunteer work and meditation are good ways to increase abundance. Be more open-minded and open to new possibilities. Try to only surround yourself with positive influences such as people and things.

Take control of your thoughts and start manifesting your desires today

Expressions of Sympathy

2011-11-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

Even the most talkative and eloquent among us are often at a loss for words when it comes to helping people deal with the death of someone close to them. We want to express our sympathy, our sharing of their feelings, but we don't know how to do it. Words can be comforting, but they're also fleeting. So we turn to more tangible expressions of sympathy.

Sympathy gifts come in many forms. A card with a thoughtful message is often the first thing we seek. There is a surprising array of choices to be made when selecting a card. The natural inclination is often to pick a card that reflects the giver's beliefs as opposed to focusing on those of the bereaved. Some sympathy cards contain short generic messages and are appropriate for acquaintances such as co-workers with whom one does not have a close personal relationship. Other cards reflect religious or spiritual themes, which may bring great comfort at such a difficult time. The final type of card emphasizes the friendship between the giver and receiver. These cards assure the receiver that a true friend will be ready to provide support in any way possible.

We shouldn't underestimate the long-lasting impact a sympathy gift will have on the recipient. This point was driven home for me when I gave a plant to a co-worker. (It was spring and I was transplanting recently rooted baby spider plants to share with friends and acquaintances.) The next day she told me that she had cried when she brought it home and put it on her table.

It turned out that her father had died several years earlier. At that time, someone gave her a plant as a sympathy gift. Watching the plant grow and burst with life over the years always comforted her by reminding her of the energy and enthusiasm for life her father had displayed. Did that gift giver have any idea of the power of that simple condolence gift - that it would console her for years?

Unbeknownst to me, a couple weeks before I offered her that new little plant, her old one had died and she had to dispose of it. It upset her to see that empty place on the table every day. She told me that when she brought home my plant and placed it in its spot, it was like that life and energy returned, once again reminding of her in a positive way of her father.

Though it may be difficult to express our sympathy at times, we should all take comfort in knowing that the gestures we make and tokens we give in sympathy are gifts that really will comfort the hearts and souls of the recipients.

Create Your Own Destiny

2011-11-21T21:26:00.000-08:00

We are constantly imitating others. When we copy other people, we can't reproduce their charisma, talent or success. Externally, we can imitate their life, their way of dressing and drive the same kind of car, but this does not bring us fulfillment.

We can take another life as an example, but we must think hard before we follow them. Look at the virtues of others and ask yourself: "I have something valuable and worthwhile myself? How can I bring it out?" When you notice something bad in those around you, make a firm resolve: "Let me not nurture such vices".

There is much hidden potential in each one of us. What should we do to make this blossom? When you activate yourself, you bring out all the strengths and talents that God has given you, all that is inherent in you, that is natural in you, something genuine and original.

Create your own identity. When you do this other people gravitate towards you. Activation leads to gravitation. Then you don't imitate others. Instead others might want to be like you. We are used to paying more attention to the external world. We try to gain social approval by dressing ourselves in a certain manner.

We stand in front of the mirror and make sure that we are presentable before we leave the house. We trust the mirror implicitly. The mirror reflects our outward appearance, not our thoughts, feelings and relationships.

Does it reflect the love in your heart? You may go to your workplace dressed in your best clothes. When somebody provokes you there, you may retort in anger or sulk in silence. Either way your peace of mind is shattered. Now your beautiful dress does nothing to help you.

Only inner strength and equipoise can continue to keep you calm, cheerful and unruffled. For this you have to activate the divine core within, from which flows a perennial stream of peace and tranquility.

Imitation cannot give you peace. So, watch your attitude, thoughts, words and desires. Be aware of the calmness in your inner core and try to retain it.

External beauty is temporary. Inner beauty is permanent and eternal. This is the beauty we need and this is what we gain when we activate ourselves. This is the beauty God recognizes. So seek love, for you seek inner beauty. Direct your mind to a higher ideal.

When you see the divine beauty concealed in your own heart, you also see it in others. "Do not see, seek". Don't look merely at the external form, but also at the divinity within. Today when you see a beggar, you will give him alms.

You will not pat him on the back or shake his hand. If your child comes home, dirty from the playground and calls you "Mummy, Daddy ...", you hug him with love.

If a child in rags comes to you, you drive him away because you don't love him. For the realized soul a beggar and a king are equally divine and beautiful because he has activated his inner core.

When you imitate you only see. When you activate you seek. The difference between "see" and "seek" is the "k". That "k" is kindness or karuna.

When there is care, compassion and kindness, nothing else matters. So let us stop imitating. Let us evaluate ourselves and nurture the divine core within. Let us seek. Let us activate.

Anything is Possible

2011-11-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

The other day I was reading a very interesting article concerning a shark attack that occurred way back in 1916. It played off along the North East coast of the U.S. and concerned a great white shark, that had been had been terrorizing the New Jersey beaches.

Now everybody knows and accepts that a shark is a creature of the sea and needs salty water to survive. Therefore nobody thought that a shark may attack them in freshwater, but that is exactly what happened later that year.

This particular shark remained close to the shore and eventually swam up a river stream around Raritan Bay, attacking a couple of bathers upstream.

Shortly before the attacks occurred, a retired Sea captain, by the name of Thomas Cottrell saw this shark swimming upstream while crossing a bridge. He couldn't believe his eyes, but nevertheless got into his boat and raised the alarm. Not surprisingly nobody believed him. "A shark in a river? C'mon, get real, It's not possible."

But you know what? As incredible as it seemed there was a shark in the river and all those who didn't heed the warnings were in danger of being attacked.

Eventually this shark killed two people. The first victim was a teenager who may or may not have heard Cottrell's warning. Shortly after this attack another man jumped in the water to look for the victim, even though he was told there is a shark in the water. He too was attacked and died from a severe loss of blood.

While reading this I couldn't help thinking about September 11 and see the parallels between these two stories.

When asked by the U.S. Congress and the media, why "clues" which should have been picked up were disregarded, the heads of the FBI and CIA as well as members of the Bush administration replied, "We didn't think they would use airplanes as missiles."

Had the FBI and CIA believed that something like what happened on 9/11 was possible they might have put measures into place which would likely have prevented this from happening. But they didn't, even though the hijackers left dozens of "clues."

Similarly if the swimmers at the US East Coast had believed Captain Cottrell when he told them there was a shark in the river, chances are that nobody would have been killed by this shark on that day.

But because they believed it is "impossible" for a shark to be found in freshwater they disregarded the warning altogether, just as the US law enforcement agencies did, resulting in many paying with their lives.

On the other hand there are human beings who overcame extraordinary odds and accomplished great feats. Everyday we hear stories of people who were told by the so-called "experts" they didn't have what it took, yet made it regardless.

The lesson here is that anything is possible, both the good and the bad. By believing or not believing in something doesn't mean you will not be affected by whatever happens. But it means that based on what you believe, you may take some action which may save you from something terrible or may get you out of a terrible situation.

There are many of us who are in terrible situations, including poverty, unhappiness, debt, etc. Those of us who have changed their situation, did it because they believed they could make it.

Those who don't obviously don't believe that they can change their situation otherwise they would have done something about it, right?

How many opportunities have you missed just because you thought it wouldn't work or wasn't possible. Just think what you could do if you believed that you could do anything, even realize your dreams?

What great talent do you have which you have done nothing about, because you probably believed you can't do it.

I hope to have shown you through this short article that anything is possible. And that by just believing, "I Can," your battle is already half-won.

Choosing Happiness

2011-11-18T17:37:00.001-08:00

How to Deal with People to Get What You Want

2011-11-17T19:05:00.000-08:00

People communicate with each other in various ways for a lot of reasons. And one of these reasons is when you need something from someone. For people in business, this can either be in the form of products or services. You may want to sell a product while the other party must find your product useful for his intention. You may want to offer your services while the other party must be satisfied with the services you render according to his needs. In short, the way to get somebody or anybody to do what you want is to make them want to do it.

To get something you want through intimidation or violence is to invite trouble. Yes, it’s possible but not advisable to use forceful methods because the results are undesirable and at times disastrous. Imagine if you force an employee to take a leave of absence for having apparently violated a company rule. The relationship between management and the employee, or perhaps between management and union (if the employee is a member of it), is likely to be severed.

To get what you want, give people what they want. Just what do people want? Physical health, family ties, financial security, spiritual growth, peace of mind, a successful career, and fame are the basic needs of people. There is one important yet intangible thing everybody wants and that is appreciation. Being appreciated and complimented makes a person feel important. When you feel important, you feel needed and wanted, and this gives you a whole lot of reason for existence.

Just how do you give somebody the feeling of importance? Say it, act it; just give it freely, honestly, and wholeheartedly. As literal as it is, saying how appreciative you are for a favor received, makes the other person feel important. You may not be able to describe exactly in words the feeling of importance when you’re in the shoes of the recipient. But definitely, what you can not describe is real and priceless.

Preempt importance. Give some sort of sign to the other person that what you want from him, will make him feel important. Let’s take charity for example. A recipient wants or needs contributions from the giver. It can either be material or service contribution, or both. Even before the act itself, the giver somehow expects appreciation from the recipient and this will give him a boost of importance. Appreciation may not necessarily be in words. A smile and/or a pat would suffice and they can come from both giver and recipient. The giver shows his feeling of being appreciated. The recipient shows his feeling of appreciation for the gift. Somehow magic or chemistry takes place. It’s a feeling both parties would enjoy happening many times over.

Are you aware that the feeling of importance, brought about by compliments and appreciation, is good for your health, mentally and physically? Whether you are the giver or recipient, it is good for both. There are medical findings that substantiate health effects brought about by positive emotions like compliments and appreciation. Frequent doses of the feeling of importance activate the brain cells and various harmonies in the body that promote good health. To put it plainly, the feeling of importance is the antioxidant of life.

Can you think of a better way to nourish other people’s feelings than to show your concern and appreciation? Well, you can show something better than appreciation, and that is - a truckload of appreciation.

You know what you and I and everybody else should be doing right now? We should go out there and show our feeling of appreciation to everything and everybody. Let’s go!

Creative Thinking: A How-To Guide

2011-11-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

Creative thinking is a potential we are all born with. If you don't use that potential, it is probably because you don't know and apply the simple principles for developing it. We can remedy that right now.

The two basic principles of creative thinking are:

1. There are methods and techniques of creative thinking.

2. Making these methods and techniques a part of your mental habits will make creative thinking easy and automatic.

An entrepreneur sees the potential profit in a situation, because his mind is trained for that. A lawyer sees the potential problems, because that is how his mind is trained. How we repeatedly think becomes a habit, and that is how you train a mind. Learn the techniques of creative thinking, use them until they are a habit, and creative thinking will be as natural for you as lying is for a politician.

The Techniques Of Creative Thinking

There are dozens of creative problem solving techniques you can learn to use. "Concept-combination," for example, will have you mixing roses and clocks to create the first alarm clock that wakes you up with a gentle release of fragrance. Use the technique of "random-presentation" and a cell phone can give the idea to do your dictation with a pocket tape recorder while you walk, so you'll have time for exercise and still get your work done.

Creative thinking goes beyond just solving specific problems or inventing new things. A truly creative mind is always coming up with the questions too, not just the solutions. To be more creative all the time, focus on three things:

1. Challenge your assumptions. What if a restaurant didn't have employees? Customers could pay a machine as they enter, and feed themselves at a buffet. If everything was as automated as possible, maybe one owner-operator could run a large restaurant alone. Challenge everything. Do you have to go to work? Do pools need water? Is education always a good thing?

2. Change your perspective. Imagining a dog's thoughts about your busyness could clue you in to the unecessary things you do. Thinking dollars-per-day instead of per-hour could give you a plan to let employees go home when they finish a certain quota. Greater efficiency would be almost certain, and you could adjust daily pay and quotas so both you and employees made more money. Look at everything from several perspectives.

3. Let your ideas run wild. Flying furniture seems silly, but it may lead to the idea of a hover-lifter. Slide the device under furniture and it lifts it with a cushion of air, making for easy moving. Don't stifle your creativity. Relax, let ideas come, and know that you can always discard them later.

Creating Creative Thinking Habits

To make the above techniques into an automatic part of your thinking, just use them enough. Usually it takes several weeks to develop a habit, so you need a way to remind yourself each day during that time. Try writing a few of your favorite techniques on a card and carrying it with you. Pull it out throughout the day and apply the techniques to anything. Soon, more creative thinking will be a normal part of your life.

Creative Imagination

2011-11-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Creative imagination is more than just active imagination. To be able to actively imagine things, to see and hear things in one's mind, is an important ability. It doesn't have to involve much creativity, though, does it? Daydreaming, for example, is a process of imagination. It can consist of an elaborate fantasy world, but one full of all the things that many people think about.

Creative imagination, then, has to include the ability not just to imagine things, but to imagine original things. It is seeing things that others don't see, and coming up with new ideas. So how do you cultivate this?

Creative Imagination 101

First, exercise your basic imagination. It can be as simple as thinking in pictures more, or listening to music in your mind. Play little "movies" in your mind, until you can watch them on command. This is a simple process, but for those of us that can't easily do it naturally, it can take a lot of practice. Fortunately, it is not an unpleasant activity.

The second part of developing your creative imagination is to get more creative in your thinking and imagining. Start by paying attention to your creativity. Our subconscious minds give us more of what we pay attention to. Ignore creative aspects of your life, and you're telling your subconscious they are unimportant. On the other hand, if you note when you're creative, your subconscious mind will start feeding you more creative ideas.

Different surroundings can also encourage your creativity. Want more creativity in your love life? Hike up a mountain with your partner. Do you write? Try sitting on a roof to write. Want new ideas for your business? Take a notebook to the park and sit by the duck pond. A change of environment can get your thinking out of it's ruts.

You can play games that exercise your creative imagination. One such game uses a technique called "concept combination." Alone or with other players, you combine random concepts or things in new ways, to see who has the best idea. A thermometer and a billboard, for example, could generate an idea for a sign that checks the weather and adjusts the message accordingly ("Come in out of the heat for a cold beverage," or "Come in out of the rain and warm up with our gourmet coffee.").

Don't Wait For Creative Imagination

Creative inspiration certainly can strike at any time, but it strikes more often when there is work instead of waiting. So if you want to come up with creative inventions, start mentally redesigning everything you see. Imagine a better bicycle, a faster mail service, or a better chair. Continue this for three weeks, and it will become a habit.

Of course, creative imagination goes beyond solving specific problems or inventing things. Truly creative minds are always coming up with the questions too, not just the solutions. If you want to be more creative all the time, focus on three things:

1. Changing your perspective. A child might think that working just to not work (to retire) is silly. Thinking from that perspective might give you ideas for how to make money doing things you enjoy. Seeing the world as a bear sees it might give a painter imaginative new ideas. Looking at things from a customer's perspective is a sure way to find creative improvements for a business. See everything from several perspectives.

2. Challenging your assumptions. What if restaurants didn't have employees? Visitors pay a machine as they enter, feed themselves at a buffet, and everything is as automated as possible, so one owner-operator could run a large restaurant alone. Challenge all your assumptions for practice. Do you really have to pay rent? Do swimming pools need water? Can exercise be a bad thing?

3. Let your ideas run wild. Does a flying bed seem silly? It could lead to the concept of a helium mattress. When you get off it in the morning, it floats out of the way, up to the ceiling. Perfect for small apartments. Don't stifle your creativity. Relax, and let ideas come. You can always discard them later.

For these techniques to be a habitual part of your thinking, use them regularly. Since it takes several weeks to develop a habit, remind yourself to use them each day. Jot a few of your favorite techniques on a card and carry it with you. Look it over throughout the day and apply the techniques to anything. Soon, you'll have a more creative imagination.

Reduce Stress and Be Happy

2011-11-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

So how should you do it then? The following are tips and advice to help manage stress.

Write it out, schedule it out.

It is best to write down everything that seems to be overwhelming. You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time. It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present.

Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You need not do everything all at once, and you need not do everything on your own. Ask for help, get help, or pay for help. When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task.

Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a cafe nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

Relax and be cool. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.

Note: Above anything else, put your life to GOD!!! Surely truly happiness that your seeking will be finally come to you...

Dealing With Sorrow – Depression Management

2011-11-05T17:28:00.000-07:00

While the term depression has been commonly used that people tend not to take it seriously anymore, it is a very serious condition that could impair one’s life. Depression is very difficult. It can debilitate one’s normal functions, making even the most mundane tasks such as getting up from bed or eating breakfast seemingly difficult. It is sad to think that a lot of depressed individuals are not treated because of the high costs of therapy. However, coping with depression is still possible without professional help if one knows depression management. Here are a few things that can help people deal with depression, it is important to note however, that professional therapy is still very invaluable with serious depression. These steps are just suggestions for alleviating the condition.

Staying active is one way to take one’s mind off depression. Primarily, activities help distract people from whatever it is that is causing their depression and it also helps channel unspent energies that build up when one is depressed. Keeping active also releases endorphins – natural mood boosters that somehow cheer people up.

It is also important to take a rest. Being depressed can be very exhausting, so it is essential to regain strength and energy if one is to deal with depression. Relaxation techniques can help one be more attuned to the self and be more at peace. When resting, stress should be kept away from the bedroom so that ample rest can be obtained.

Depressed people should also express their emotions. Depression usually results from suppressed emotions. People who are grieving can be prone to depression if they keep their emotion to themselves. A lot of people avoid crying because they think it might be a sign of weakness. However, it is important to cry because it releases one’s emotions. When expressing feelings, it is important to avoid catharsis – venting up one’s anger by doing something violent like boxing, smashing things, and the like. Catharsis does not release one’s emotion, especially anger. Rather, it makes a person practice violence as an expression of emotion, and thus can be very dangerous.

Hang around with friends and loved ones. Depressed individuals need support very much. Other people can distract one from stress. People can also remind a depressed individual that there can be more to life, and it is worth living even if it is simply because of the company of wonderful people.

Lastly, it is important to believe in oneself. A lot of people get depressed because they put themselves down. It is important to satisfy oneself and gain a sense of self-worth. It is good to do something that would make one happy. Prioritizing one’s self can help one to believe that one’s own life is important and can be enjoyed. Being kind to oneself is one of the most important steps to get away from a depressive state.

Depression management is possible and entails taking charge of one’s self. When dealing with depression however, it is important not to rush. Sadness does not disappear overnight; it takes time to get back on one’s feet. Little by little, one can get out of depression and have a normal life once more.

Develop A Belief System That Works For You

2011-11-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

It is interesting to note that most of society is free. There is a percentage of the populous that is incarcerated for crimes against society. So too, are there people who live in political cultures that do not value the freedom of its' people. Nevertheless, the majority of the people in the world live in relative freedom. They can choose whom they marry, what they do for a living, and where they live. Most societies allow their people to move around freely without restraint. As long as an individual is obeying the laws, that person has wide latitude in conduct.

The freedoms offered by governments are physical freedoms that all its' law abiding members enjoy. However, many operate in a “prison like” atmosphere regardless of what they are given. This prison does not exist on the material plane. Rather, it is a creation of the mind. It is manufactured from an individual's belief system. These beliefs become people's jailers.

Most will tell you that they can think for themselves. To suggest that they are incapable of creating their own ideas is met with an overwhelming attitude to the contrary. All their success, experiences, and intelligence give a sense of independence. They mistakenly believe that their belief systems is of their own making. Unfortunately for them, it is not.

A fundamental concept to creating the life that you desire is to create a belief system that works for you. Contrary to what most think, our beliefs systems are shaped by the influences around us. Teachers, parents, friends, co-workers, and institutions all have input into the beliefs that we live by. Have you ever noticed how children ideas often reflect those of their parents? This is so common that political organizations poll school children during Presidential elections because they accurately reflect the sentiment of the adults.

The governments of the world are masters at shaping the belief system of its' people. Through the use of propaganda, public opinion is swayed based upon the desires of those in power. This is often done in the name of nationalism. A group of people is established as a threat to the society. Events are shown to validate this viewpoint while creating the emotional dislike towards that group. Thus, the government is free to act as it see fit with the full support of its people. Unfortunately, most people do not have firsthand experience to form a solid conclusion. Of course, they will defend their belief even though that are not certain where it came from.

It is common for people and organizations to manipulate others beliefs for the sake of control. The government is one example. Some religions throughout history has acted in a similar manner. They used threat of an angry Deity and eternal damnation to control the masses. There were numerous instances where the Church of England was the most powerful organization in Europe. With a following that is under control, it is much easier to maintain influence. Naturally, there are many denominations where this is not the case. So, too, are their many people who's lives are enhanced by their religious affiliation. Unfortunately, this is not true in all instances.

The key to a belief systems is creating one that works for you. As an adult, you have the freedom to believe anything that you desire. Spending time questioning where some of your beliefs came from is healthy. It is also effective to determine whether they still work for you. If they assist you into being happy, joyous, and free, then they are worthwhile. However, when they instill pain, perhaps it is time to rethink them.

Ironically, the beliefs that seem to cause the most chaos in people's lives come from those who love us the most. Many individuals suffer from psychological disorders due to the influences of their parents. Things such as low self esteem, abandonment, and sexual issues all come from our upbringing. Typically, one who suffer from any of these, was made to feel guilty and shameful. Their worth was shown to be tied to their performance which never was good enough. Mistakes were not forgiven but something to be used as a weapon to make the other feel worse. All this was done as a form of control.

Leap forward 20 years and you find that a person who grew up in this atmosphere often still carries these beliefs. Even though recent experiences will prove to the contrary, the individual still hears the words of the parent. It affects the relationships with friends, lovers, coworkers, and oneself. Without some help, the person is often incapable of healthy interaction with others. There is a degree of sickness in all that is done. Thus, the individual turns to other things to fill that void that exists whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, or food. However, if the belief system was viewed as insane, the person might be apt to change it. Simply altering a few of the basic beliefs one holds regarding oneself miraculously changes life.

The more that we can accept that it is likely that what we believe came from other, the better our chances are of attaining freedom. There are many things that were taught to us by others growing up which serve us well. This is especially true if we were raised in a loving home. However, society being as selfish as it is, there is much that stands in our way of happiness. Analyzing our belief system gets to the root of what motivates us. A system that contains a great deal of fear will cause one to often act out of that fear. The opposite is also true. To create 'our' life, it begins with creating 'our' own belief system.

How To Increase Creativity

2011-10-31T19:26:00.001-07:00

To increase creativity, you need to do two things. First, you need to encourage it. Second, you need to train your brain. Start on both of these right now, and you can experience greater creativity today.

Encourage creativity and you'll increase creativity. This is true of most things you want to see more of in your life. Encouragement can work wonders. How do you encourage creativity, though?

First, by paying attention to it. Your subconscious mind tends to give you more of what you pay attention to. If you ignore the creative aspects of your life, you are telling your subconscious that they are unimportant. If you consciously note when you are creative, and you look for opportunities to be creative, your subconscious mind will start feeding you more creative ideas. Look for it and you'll find more of it.

Another way to encourage and increase creativity, is to write your ideas down. Keep an "idea journal." If you do this regularly, you'll notice that you often start having more ideas the moment you start to write. A so-so idea may normally be forgotten, but by writing it down, you may remember it, your subconscious works on it, and it can transform into something very creative.

You can also encourage greater creativity in yourself by putting creative ideas into practice. If you paint or write, for example, try anything new. Even just driving a different route to work to see if it is quicker can help. The point is to get you mind working outside of its regular patterns.

Just changing your surroundings can encourage creativity. If you want more creativity in your love life, go hike up a mountain with your partner. If you write, try sitting on a roof to write. If you need new ideas for your business, take a notebook to the park and sit by the duck pond. A change of environment can get your brain out of it's ruts.

Creativity Training

If you want to dramatically increase creativity, develop creative habits of mind. Watch a good comedian and you'll see that she has trained her mind to look for the "different angle" on everyday things. You can train your mind to do the same.

Challenge assumptions, for example, until it becomes habit. Looking for ways to get customers into your store? Stop and say, "Do I really need more customers?" The question suggests other creative solutions, like finding ways to make more money off existing customers, or ways to cut expenses. These may lead to more profitable ideas. Challenge assumptions to increase the creativity of your solutions.

As you drive to work, randomly choose anything around you and ask how it may be connected to whatever problem you are working on. A helicopter overhead might make you think about a way to track where the car goes when you loan it to your kids. A palm tree may lead to a new design for patio umbrellas.

The above techniques are called "Assumption Challenging" and "Random Presentation," and are two classic creative problem solving techniques. There are dozens more. Train your brain to habitually use these, and provide it with a little encouragement, and you really can increase your creativity.